Yes, your member story sounds really awful. Surviving with all symptoms in the book for nearby a decade. It’s unbelievable. I’m mentally done after one year.And this DHEA mad your symptoms better?!
24 March 22
On the research and awareness front Mitch and staff fight for us. I read some success stories the last days. Here are many 70 till 90 % recovery stories on Propecia Help.
It’s a sunny day. But I miss the spring feeling of my old life. I’m only a year in. Never forgotten. Hope once I’ll forget the old feeling and can create a new spring feeling
Still stay in bed. Till midday or the early afternoon like every day for a whole year now. No drive to stand up anymore.
For what??
I don’t hang up bedbound. Yes I force myself to stand up every afternoon. On the weekends with my child in the morning.
Try to get some help from at home supported living. They organize breakfast with other problem people most psychological and activities.
I try Bupoprion, Thyroxin and Vit D now. Just to feel a little bit motivation. I have to make my daily walks. Otherwise muscle atrophy more.
Even this I can’t do lacking motivation.
So I have to force myself to stand up make the household go for a walk buy some foods sit outside at the terrasse.
A PFS life is to force myself to live. Can I force myself to feel happy again??
Is there s trick I don’t know?
In my old life I had to force myself to do all the things because I only was on tour to enjoy my beautiful life.
It was a joy, some spring bicycle tours like an orgasm.
No I think what have I done with the fucking pills and walk up and down with permanent distressed activity under cortisol stress hormone overdose.
Hey. Just read all of your comments here, and I’m curious if you’ve ever went to therapy (as in a psychologist maybe). Not that I say that it’s all in your head, but the coping part.
I myself went to EFT therapy (which is quite alternative), and I gained my happiness back in life. I found out that after some time, most of the physical symptoms I suffered from vanished, but I was locked in a loop because of the psychological state the whole process left me in. It started physical, and it got me believing that my life was over until I realized it isn’t. It didn’t happen over a day, but took months and up to a year.
It’s creazy, you are 25 I’m 60 now. Normally the advice you give me as an older man, I would give to you as young guy who is confronted with an potential asexual and anhedoic life. Normaly I would say I have lived my life, so what about now the last two decades:
Let’s suffer and make the best like Gauthama Sirdatha called Buddha, who lived a life full of commerce and hedonism until he find the right way in suffering as his way out of the material world.
But you learned to arrange with this horrible condition. I’m Borderline. The way through my life to a kind of in parts self harming catastrophe was my forensic faith.
I can’t accept that the catastrophe cut my dick and freezed my mind.
So on my way to go my way of suffering like Gauthama Sirdatha I need much time and a rehabilitation in a psychiatric clinic for a long time. Or a gun to go the short way to enlightenment. Just a joke.
I sent you a PM. I cannot accept my life anymore. I can’t commit and I can’t live. I feel myself totally worthless like garbage. Every day is an incredible fight for me, not to give up. I write it down not to get totally insane! Like Charles Bukowski said.
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I read your member story to. But you didn’t suffer on permanent PFS, your sexual symptoms subsided after 5 weeks and all the other symptoms after 6 months.
You experienced the fully blown side effects but they didn’t become persistent.
Many fin users on tressless subreddit deal with symptoms for months to half a year until they recover. It’s a state between normal side effects and permanent PFS.
You have been one of the lucky ones, whose symptoms gone away, who can fuck and masturbate and enjoy your life again.
I have permanent issues like more and more severe ED, with the time degenerating genitals, total dry skin, dry eyes, sometimes severe fatuige, muscle atrophy, joint and bone pain, social phobia, can’t go outside and many so bad thoughts and this dark painful anhedonia, it’s not all psychological.
It’s chemical brain damage and lobotomy.
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March 25 '22
I have made a little walk through the forest nearby. Is that worth a post?
In my old life I proudly posted the plant communities under the typical trees for a more dry and sandy hill with oaks and fagus and the water filled sinks with it’s alder swamp forests on f_book. I have been interested in every thing around me
Now it’s a fight to force myself to go for a simple walk. I don’t feel the pleasure of the sun, the warm days, the birds I’m only in my own.
For one year I ask myself why I throat this poison, why I ended up my life been so uncritical as someone who looks for every preservatives in a simple fucking chicken Salat or any endocrine disruptor in a simple suncream.
*For the worst endocrine disruptor of the entire universe I did not check. Even the criminal urologist said than better not, giving me the poison. And I checked nothing and had a worse psychoterapist who didn’t help me, to organize my inner chaos and self harming thoughts. This eats me up from inside out.
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Could you take a picture for us to see? The lake you said，In my impression, Germany is the Alps and. the Brandenburg gate.
I also feel disconnected from the world. I can’t remember the last time I went out. I’m afraid of crowded places.
I live in the lower Rhine river area. Between Rhein and Maas near the dutch boarder. North from Cologne and south from the Ruhrgebiet Industrial area.
I know that the industry in Ruhr district used to be very developed. Now it’s picturesque. It seems that you live in the best place in Europe. It’s incredible. I believe that one day your life will be beautiful again. Just think it’s a nightmare
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26 March 22
In ten days I have the first anniversary of my PFS crash. The last anchor in my life have been the visits of my child on the weekends. But now I can’t organize it anymore. I can’t organize my household anymore. I don’t meet my supervisor often anymore. I don’t visit doctors. I don’t try any medication. I just stay in bed. My child at the neighbours. They look at me already like at an escaped maniac or what does this bum here in this clean and normal quarter.
I’m not a member of the normal society anymore. I’m a misfit.
I wounder how all the severe cases manage their life. I think many, the majority went back to their parents and live there as a grown up child. They get there fresh clothes, three meals a day and the parents organize everything. We elder guys have to organize ourself.
I heard the story of one pssd sufferer who didn’t left the house for five years. He gets every thing from delivery service and live there as a ghost.
I don’t want to end up in this way. I have suicidal thoughts and regret to that I have done to me, believe the medical system, that they won’t kill me.
Today I’m totally done I didn’t sleep very well and totally Fatuiged, I have suicidal thoughts everytime now. But I’m afraid to do it.
I feel so endless tired of that all.
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@Exsexgod
Manu, you have lived the life of an inveterate, committed hedonist and you can’t quit now! Give your old sick, tired body a taste of what it is missing!
Call an old lover, or a prostitute. Have them meet you and give you a show! Titillate themselves, have you lend a hand, sit on your face! Remind yourself what you have to live for! You need a taste of your glory days for incentive to keep going!
Stick with me, old man! Jim
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That would be my strategy if I was a very old man getting weaker after a normal prostate surgery. A funny show in my house. For me and some old friends.
But this pharma muster packages just to take with me without any advice to the side effects was a crime. And PFS is homicide. So that takes all kinds of coping strategies away from me.
And I m so bitter all the time. That wasn’t my character never. I was so funny and hedonic all my life. Even in depressed periods I was horny and coping in special clubs.
And dear Jim you’re a very funny guy. We are the fucked in the end ones.
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27 March 22, still in bed. 2 pm.
A friend is waiting for me. One of my oldest and closest friends. I don’t care anymore. Everything is gone. No I hurry up, I like him so much.
This night I have had bad apnoea. My larynx was swollen this morning. I fought the night for my life. Why? Only a reflex.
Hope for good news again. And yes I know the younger ones are beaten so much harder and they fight for every hope in research, protocols and life and they need hope full memberstories.
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March 28 2022 12.43 pm
Still in bed, no motivation for stand up anymore.
For what?
It’s just something like I don’t want to mess away in my bed like a 90 year old man that gives me the energy to stand up in the early afternoon.
It’s definitely not the lust for life. I have total anhedonia, deep depression and suicidal thoughts. I was a healthy best ager and this fucking criminal urologist gave me two muster packages just to try. And than one day I throated this shit, without any internet check. I can’t forgive me. Why, for every fucking chicken Salat I look for preservatives or nano particles in a suncreams and than I throat this dangerous poison.
I’m very proud of the PFS network and the PFS community don’t to give up and to invest in research activities and awareness campaigns. But I don’t want to live anymore with this shit. I’m 60 yo. I lost my life with the first pill.
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How can I live without my manhood and my pride?
If you loose a relationship because of normal trobble, another one or your own fault it’s normal and you can fight for your love. Loosing a relationship because of chemical castration through the pharma profit machine is the inhumanst tourture for a man’s pride. This is only unfair. From god who didn’t punish the Merck murderers and stop their homicides after 20 years.
I have lost my pride, my manhood, my father role, my funny character, all my friends everything for the profit of the pharma war machine and a slight gaslighting leaflet only to sell the poison to critical minds.
At spring time it hurts me so much, don’t be a man anymore. I feel like an worthless think a shell without feelings and soul.
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March 29 2022
My brain is totally switched off now. I’m even unable to buy an envelope to send my post to the supervisor and my house manager. I can’t do anything. Just waiting for a nurse house place this year.
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March 30
Even having a window in symptoms and having a good day, the ED, that I m not able to have sex again, that I lost my manhood and what was destroyed in my life by that makes me deeply depressed and bad agitated against myself because I took the pills.
People who had no relationship at the crash time and getting ED are in a better position, because their pride is not so destroyed.
30 March 22
I go on to write my diary. Even no one reflects my thoughts. Yes today again I can’t accept my new reality. Walking up and down in my psychosis. I only live in the time before PFS.
They tried to give me antipsychotics.
I have to go far away once to forget, who I was. Only without any connections to the past you can learn to accept a basic live.
Maybe devote some of your energy to giving people hope rather than carrying on about how miserable you are and how hopeless the future is for all sufferers. Say it once or twice but don’t keep at it without reprieve.
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