I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been trying to stay positive, but everything just seems pointless. I keep getting these weird thoughts that this is just a dream, but it’s fucking reality. I try to force myself to go out and enjoy shit, but I can’t keep faking it. When I laugh, it’s not genuine, and then I catch myself doing it and it just makes me miserable. My skin well break out after a few drinks, but I don’t feel any buzz. These past days I’ve tried to get as much sun as possible, the other day I just woke up with red rash/melasma like spots over my entire body. My knees have become so weak, along with dry and cracking hips. I know this is kind of pointless to write about as most of us can already relate to this. I just want to end it man, I am in a relationship but I can’t feel anything. My family thinks I have gone crazy, and I can’t blame them, who would have thought this was possible? Time is just passing by, wasting what should have been the best years of my life. What even is time anymore, days just pass by like minutes stuck in this misery.