Another morning from hell

Coping
#1

Another morning from hell. My back is painful and burning with nerve pain. It’s searing in my arms and it’s firing in my legs and feet. I am utterly exhausted, very fatigued, and my hair is destroyed straw. I am utterly alone and there is nobody I can turn to. I found a photo of me a few years ago and I was well built from the gym, superfit, handsome, and in Venice with my sister. I told her that I’d be moving to Spain to live with my Spanish girlfriend at some point. Instead I got ill and lost it all.

I feel so poorly everyday I haven’t been able to return to work. I have no care for anything now. Even wearing clothes hurts. I have many bad symptoms and I am declining. I tried to tell my family but they just don’t understand. I don’t hear from almost anyone ever.

I never hear any success stories from people as far gone as me. The fact that there is nobody to help me, no thorough research or solutions, no accounts from people seeing consultants and have had their oils and levels restored (when as far gone as me) is horrendous. The fact no doctors or anyone knows about this.

What the hell was I thinking when I took finisteride? I’m at a loss at the mindset that led me to try it.

I’m running out of time. I don’t believe there’s a consultant out there that can help me and I’m not treating myself like a lab rat and making myself worse.

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#2

Mate its the same for me. Just a few of us are this bad. Just try to hang in there that’s all we can do. Some of us lose everything including support, family and freinds. People tell me they are here for me but they aren’t. Doctors etc are clueless and default to SSRIs or hormone treatment which are worse than bad for us. Time is the only hope, at some point we may start to heal naturally hang onto that.

3 Likes
#3

I can’t hang on to that I’m sorry. I’ve lost too much and living like this is hell. I’m haunted, isolated, lonely, and a shell of a man. Literally nobody has any glimmer of any solutions. You sound like a really good person. We never deserved this.

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#4

None of us did Johnny. I relate with everything you say. Outside of a few hours sleep it is complete torture. How long have you had the disease?

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#5

I’ve had it for 20 years but it really started to fall apart 7 years ago. I don’t know how I am still here but I am don’t become another statistic and let Merck win. Every day is a victory even though it doesn’t feel that way. God will walk with each of us when it’s our time. But it’s not now,.miracles still happen what becomes our last bastion should have been the first. PM me if you want mate

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#6

Johnny stay strong my man, I know we cant do shit for you.

To be honest I too never knew about the slew of diseases it could trigger, my limited understanding was just loss of libido and ED. But this is a monster of a drug (I would rather go back in time and take doses of cocaine or molly, far less poisenous).

What symptom(s) do you consider the worst (dont say all of them combined)?

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#7

2 years. The fact you say 20 makes me feel even worse (not your fault). To know that this was going on that long before I even took it. If I had known. To know it’s been going on that long and no progress has been made is even worse.

It’s hard to even begin to explain how much I’ve lost.

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#8

The chronic dryness, the fatigue, and the nerve pain are the worst. Your understanding was the same as mine. I was assured I would be fine. This drug is disgusting.

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#9

It is mate the only advertised side at the time was temp loss of libido. It took me close to 18 years to find the cause of my declining health. I took it on and off for all of those years so don’t give up you may yet recover, improve. Whereas I’ve had too much exposure

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#10

I’ve used 1% prednisone eye drops for 10 days. This really gave me relief for the dry eyes for all days that I have used it.

However, I quit using it wednesday and today I notice my eyes becoming dry again. This poison (fin) has caused chronic inflammation in my entire body as well as in my eyelids.

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#11

Mine too. I’m lying in bed at 11.15am because of all the chronic problems and pain. You know what this site works so terribly badly on my mobile I can’t be bothered to try and refer back to the message I’m replying to sorry.

2 Likes
#12

no problem brother, I did some light home maintenance (painting) yesterday and I believe I experienced some of the nervepain you were talking about. yeez it was radiating into my arms and legs, it was terrible.

best to not do any activity it seemsw

#13

It’s as bad doing nothing. I am in pain even wearing clothes.

1 Like
#14

that sounds terrible brother…

#15

The nerve pain is far worse now. I hope you’re ok cause I’m really not.

#16

sorry to hear that brother…

Currently the nerve and muscle pain is less than before. Im still struggling with the dryness of my eyes an skin. Eyes are starting to get sensitive to brightness…

#17

Hey Johnny, I read this and thought I would take the time and reply to you. When I crashed last year I had the worst nerve pain a human being could probably endure apart from being burnt alive, so bad that I literally had to wear plastic gloves into the shower to protect my hands from the temperature, so bad that I couldn’t even rub my dogs belly because the heat sensitivity would feel like I was putting my hands into a fire or having a blow torch held to me 24/7. It was unbearable pain and not many human beings could survive that I’m absolutely sure of it but as time went by it did eventually subside and I now only get it intermittently. If it drastically reduced for me I’m sure it will for you too, all the best and keep up the good fight.

3 Likes
#18

Thank you.

I’m sorry to hear that happened to you.

Unfortunately it is very unlikely this will subside. I have had 2 1/2 years since I crashed and I am only getting worse.

My life is ruined and I have nobody.

1 Like
#19

Johnny,

when did you quit fin? has it really been 2 1/2 years… Sad to hear your not making any progress on the nerve pain deparment.

#20

I quit it in late 2017. I am running out of time now.