20 years old - 15 months off

Member Stories
#1
  1. Where are you from (country)?

UK

  1. How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)

Google searching ‘propecia side effects’

  1. What is your current age, height, weight?

20, 5’10, 165

  1. Do you excercise regularly? If so, what type of excercise?

Occasionally

  1. What type of diet do you eat (vegetarian, meat eater, raw, fast-food/organic healthy)?

Very healthy meat and vegetable diet

  1. For how long did you take Finasteride (weeks/months/years)?

5 months on and off, different dosages

  1. How old were you, and WHEN (date) did you start Finasteride?

18

  1. What type of Finasteride did you use – Propecia, Proscar, Fincar or other generic?

Generic

  1. How long into your use of Finasteride did you notice the onset of side effects?

Straight away; i believe my body was very sensitive to it

  1. What side effects did you experience while on the drug that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?

Put an X beside all that apply:

Sexual

[X] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X] Erectile Dysfunction
[X] Complete Impotence
[X] Loss of Morning Erections
[X] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[X] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[X] Watery Ejaculate
[X] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental

[X] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[X] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[ ] Confusion
[ ] Memory Loss / Forgetfullness
[X] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[X] Slurring of Speech
[X] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[X] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[ ] Depression / Melancholy

Physical

[X] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[ ] Testicular Pain
[X] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[X] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[X] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc

[ ] Prostate pain
[ ] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[X] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[X] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[X] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[ ] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[X] Lowered body temperature

[ ] Other (please explain)

Treatments that i have tried

Proviron (5 days)
Numerous health supplements
Pregnenolone
Phenibut (very good for sleep)
Thyroid treatment (T3 and armour thyroid)

At the moment all i take is pharmaceutical grade fish oil

My story

September 2009: it was only a few weeks before i moved away from home for university after nailing my exams and having a great few months over the summer. Throughout the summer, and especially in September my hair loss began to effect my self esteem, although i was generally still very content because i had a girlfriend i was happy with and therefore i didn’t think about it for any extended period of time. I shaved my head for the first time and it looked fine, it literally just took a few days of adapting. Problems with me began the minute i left my girlfriend for the last time and i was about to move away; i just felt very empty and instantly became quite depressed. At this point in time i started to research potential solutions for the hair loss and i came across a very useful forum which i am sure we are all aware of and upon reading the medical literature publicized by Merck, i ended up ordering generic FINCAR from inhousepharmacy as a cheap alternative to being prescribed propecia by a doctor. I was aware of the temporary side effects and thought ‘what do i have to lose?’ i was shaving my head anyway, i just wanted to maintain my hair density into my early twenties so that i would have the confidence to live my life to the fullest. To cut a long story short, i was on and off the drug consistently due to the same side effects appearing every time i took it (testicles aching, watery semen, worsening anxiety and brain fog). I was able to take the drug and then quit it cold turkey a number of times with no problems at all and all the side effects would reverse. However, i regretfully took it one last time and only stopped when an Egyptian doctor told me that i shouldn’t be taking an anti androgen at my age. 2-4 weeks later (i honestly can’t remember) one morning i woke up and i felt absolutely terrible. My penis went numb, i kept urinating and excreting but couldn’t even do that properly, i felt incredibly anxious for no reason and i was very itchy all over below the waistline.

It has been 15 months since my symptoms appeared and it’s possible to say that things are only getting worse for me at this point in time. Here is a list of my most prominent issues:

. i will get to sleep at night with a peaceful mind only to wake up 2-3 hours later with severe anxiety and heart palpitations. This process will repeat itself until i get roughly 5 hours of sleep, then i might start my day. It is often the case that in the evenings i start to feel quite anxious and palpitations begin.

. NO morning or nocturnal erections, maybe some fullness at times

. low sex drive

. penile shrinkage (fluctuates)

. my semen looks as if it is completely water and the volume is about 10% of what it used to be

. my penis tip is very pale and blotchy most of the time, generally that whole area looks very unhealthy

. any stress or adrenaline and i start to feel terrible; i can’t think straight, interaction with others becomes disturbingly difficult and i become depressed

. it feels like i am shaking inside when i am under any stress or adrenaline hits me, often it just occurs randomly

This whole experience has completely changed my life. When i was within a year of coming off the drug i would always believe that it was just a matter of time before i completely recovered. Unfortunately, this is clearly not the case and i am dealing with some very complicated issues that aren’t going to just go away on there own. Despite being an otherwise healthy, athletic male with a very clean diet and easy going lifestyle, my symptoms continue to worsen.

During these 15 months of hell i have experienced 4-5 brief recoveries where i felt like the person i used to be. Everything began working as they should sexually, sleep improved and any anxiety/ depression completely cleared. These moments have lasted no more than a few days and i have usually felt even worse afterwards. The positive thing to take from these experiences is that i have been able to witness my body return almost completely to normal, which at least shows it’s possible. The sad thing is, i have absolutely no idea what true cause of such improvements were so i cannot think of any sort of treatment to get me to that state again.

I am now prepared to try anything that has potential in order to improve my condition even if that comes with risks

#2

Sorry to hear your bad luck.

Can I ask, about your scrotal ecsma? When did this start occouring? Do you know the cause. I have been fighting this too. I really do not know the cause.

#3

I got morning and spontaneous erections for a couple of days for the first time since forever starting mid last week. Yet again i got excited and wondered whether all the fluctuations were positive and this was the final push from my body. Once again i just came back down even harder; trying to get a good night’s sleep is like hell, my penis and whole genital area just feels completely wrong - it’s not painful but something is just so uncomfortable. My scrotum feels completely empty and my testicles don’t react to temperature changes etc like they used to.

Basically, i am fucked, completely fucked. I don’t look forward to a single thing in my life anymore and i would love it if i could just be hit by a car and be done with it. I doubt that will happen, so unfortunately i will have to endure my worsening life, probably until it hits rock bottom and i literally have nothing.

I don’t understand, 15 months off and i get worse? how on earth is this possible and what the hell did i ever do to deserve this? life is incredibly cruel. I’m not even depressed man, i am just totally hopeless towards my condition. Instead of balding gracefully which i was - i am now bald, impotent, bitter and miserable at 20 years old.

#4

UK20 I know how you are feeling, trust me you are not alone.I am sure your life is not worse than mine.With 4 children, stomach ulcer, osteoprosis and severe brain fog life is not a fun.

have you seen my pics?
look at them and see how fast I detriorated.
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2760&start=80

#5

I started the same process about this time. Little rays of hope which are crushed by harder crashes. Hopefully you won’t be like me but I’m still getting worse about three years off. This uncomfortableness you describe is awful, you don’t want to be touched because everything is so unpleasant. Combined with this my muscles are stiff and keep getting stuck so it’s uncomfortable in every position. That feeling of loose comfortable relaxation is just gone as is every pleasant feeling in life, replaced with uncomfortableness and pain, like an old man.

#6

.

#7

Went on holiday for a while - yet again i was feeling fantastic for about a week; raging morning wood, spontaneous erections, improved semen - the whole lot. This was when i was eating whatever i wanted and barely getting any sleep.

Had 26 hours sleep yesterday and today and yet my penis hasn’t even moved at all - as usual i am left thinking. WHAT THE FUCK!?

It’s 16 months since i experienced the post finasteride crash and it doesn’t look as if there is much hope. It’s time for me to accept what is happening and try to manage my life as best as possible. I will be sticking to my supplement regimen along with a healthy lifestyle and possibly trying a couple of meds here and there, but i think the time has come to just accept things.

#8

I will be starting treatment using Nystatin and Dexamethasone in the coming weeks. Hopefully i may be able to replicate the success that ‘ihatpropecia702’ is having. I will update when necessary.

The symptom that is most bothersome to me at the moment is this internal feeling of instability, like i feel all fragile and shaky. It’s so horrible. I can’t even sit on the sofa and enjoy TV because i feel so uncomfortable and it becomes very distressing. Don’t even get me started on when i am trying to keep up with conversation with others, the brain fog is hell.
I know these are anxiety symptoms but they come randomly, i can be feeling great or be totally distracted and these feelings still take over me. Sexual symptoms don’t seem too bad at the moment but shrinkage which seemed to be in remission for quite some time has came back. This is another problem that i just cannot stand.

#9

I took some phenibut and melatonin tonight. Knocked me clean out for 6 hours. Despite how severe my sleep issues usually are, nocturnal erections are non existent when i take phenibut and sleep properly like this, i am sure the extra sleep must do my body good in general though.

It feels almost like i am going through a 3rd crash over the last few days, brought on by some intense cardio on Thursday.

#10

Hi UK20

if you are not taking

Vit D3 6000IU /day
Vit B12 ( 2 - 3 times a week).
Folic acid

then start these asap. While it is not the solution but will give you a lot of relief.
I have been on these and able to push my life with less difficulty.

#11

Officially back to where i was before my fin miracle experiment. I pinched my penis as hard as i could pretty much and did not feel anything. My penis just sits there; cold, shrivelled, loss of color. It is just a fibrous piece of tissue. I am starting to understand some of the members i usually disagree with, i.e. Oscar and MartinM - when things are this bad, which they are 70% of the time i cannot help but feel something has gone horribly wrong with us. Not something that can be fixed by optimizing T/E ratios, thyroid treatment or detoxes. Considering this drug is relatively new, i fear the worst.

I am lost for words. I CANNOT believe that something you can get off your doctor, the internet in a few clicks of a mouse, over the counter in some countries and even Boots in the UK can do this to us. This situation is surreal. Even more confusing is the fact that i have seen my body bounce back to complete normality - how on earth is this possible? i have been in denial ever since this ordeal began. In fact, i have tried to overlook certain symptoms but i think it’s fair to say that over the last 5 months i have also lost a worrying amount of muscle/ definition and i am unable to maintain anything i gain at all. Another one to the list.

My biggest concern right now is motivation, i don’t know how i am going to wake up every morning and motivate myself to pursue anything because this shit consumes my every thought. Maybe the strength is in me somewhere to make something of myself in life with this condition, but i very much doubt it.

I guess tomorrow is another day. Rant over.

#12

UK20,

Why does your thread say you are 20 Years old, but your Signature to the left of your posts, show you are 44 Years old?

#13

Update:

As i have mentioned elsewhere; i am on Naltrexone long term at the moment and i am also using low dose clomid, hydrocortisone and synthroid for a couple of months.

Sadly, my condition, at least sexually has gotten worse than ever. It has been 3 days since i even had an erection, i can hardly feel my penis at any point in the day and i have no sex drive whatsoever. Furthermore, over the last 5 months or so, other physical side effects have became more prominent. My joints are always clicking, i cannot maintain muscle and even very small cuts are barely healing. A typical day for me is now filled with anxiety and my priorities are having normal urination and excretion. I am now experiencing a number of body wide symptoms.

There is of course a possibility that my dabble with finasteride again has lowered my sex drive even further but things were heading this way before anyway to be honest.

I have no idea what the future holds for me now. I really want to just run away and live in seclusion or die somehow. If anyone feels the same, get in contact.

#14

Please take my adivce. Go on
vit D3 4000IU - 6000IU depends how you feel.
Vit E
Vit B12

otherwise you will kill yourself.

#15

I tried both for about 5-6 months and did not feel any improvement. I am taking a very good multi as well as fermented cod liver oil.

#16

i feel the same mate. im leaving my wife and 2 kids because i cant give her what she needs. we fight constantly over sex. i can do it nor have any desire. she doesnt understand. i too will live a life of suclusion im sure.

#17

Have you had any blood tests?

#18

Not since way back, no.

#19

I’m so sorry to hear that, my friend. I cant imagine how that must feel.

I hope there’s a way you can salvage your marriage. :frowning:

#20

to be honest its too much presure right now. i feel sick every time she asks for sex or tries to kiss me. im constantly in a bad mood, depressed and gerally driving her mad because i keep talking about this. i am kind of looking forward to just living my life in the way its been left. i may be alone but at least i will have some peace.