11 months in - crashed again

General Discussion
#1

I’m at a loss guys…

The past 7 months or so I have been doing pretty good, mentally and sexually. I got engaged to my girlfriend and we are getting married this October.

But yesterday, I suddenly fell what seems like impotent again. The brain-penis connection has disappeared. I still feel like I have a mental libido but there is no reaction downstairs.

After taking one pill and becoming impotent, recovering, crashing, then recovering and improving for the past 7 months, my life has come crashing down again.

I’m trying my best to stay calm and tell myself I can recover again. But I’m just so scared. I barely hung on last time… I don’t know what to do.
In the back of my mind I had always wondered if this day would come… I guess I celebrated too soon. I feel devastated and I’m starting to panic again.

I know others have it way worse, my heart truly goes out to them, and by comparison I seem like I’m whining over nothing, but it’s mentally and emotionally excruciating.

I could do with any words of hope, because that’s the only thing that helped me not to give up last time.

Thanks for listening guys.

1 Like
#2

Trust me good days will return don’t spiral as it will delay the return to your baseline. Tell yourself it will happen and believe it. The Pfs mind is one of worst case. Think outside of that. Be objective and recognise how good things have been for you. Nearly all sufferers who get a decent improvemens over time often have a dip. Know it’s temporary.

4 Likes
#3

Thanks man. I feel overdramatic when I know all the crap you’re going through. Your words mean a lot.

1 Like
#4

Just went to the psychiatrist. He upped my buproprion to 300mg from 150mg but thought this crash was largly a psychological issue. I have no doubt it plays a certain role in it, but I know what it’s like to be completely impotent with no sexual force at all. And randomly after 7 /8 months with no explanation…
The only thing I can think of is that I had a fair amount of turmeric with dinner the night I crashed which is a 5ari. But food has never had an affect in me before this.

Does anyone know of people who experienced multiple crashes and recovered from them at all?
I did have a scour of the forum and couldn’t find much.
I’ve had 3 crashes and 2 recoveries, all back to impotency. Sorry to sound like a broken record, but I’m a bit of a mess right now.

#5

@Tricky 1 day is too early my friend. Get out of this forum and relax. It will get better for sure. :slight_smile:

1 Like
#6

I know I should. It’s just like reliving last year all over again when I thought I was through it.
It’s hard to avoid this site, as I’m scouring for a glimmer of hope or similar situation, but then I find some bad stories too… its a vicious circle caused by my own over-catastrophising of the situation.
I got some calming meds from the psych. Hopefully they will have some effect. Thanks for your advice mate

#7

I think it’s worth acknowledging that People here often have been brought here after multiple exposures to a 5ari, sometimes the same drug, sometimes a different one.

The reason I say this is that sometimes people say “I never had a problem before” or that a particular substance doesn’t affect them.

One of the moderators here had a crash that he attributes to tofu, which he had eaten many times after developing pfs.

So, with that in mind, I think it’s possible that your psychiatrist’s assessment that your condition is a psychological issue might not be the only take.

I’m sorry this is happening to you, for whatever reason, but it’s entirely possible to recover again, I have had messages from people it’s happened to.

I would guess that it’s possible to have this vulnerability long term and that perhaps the best advice isn’t “get off the forum” and hope it another crash doesn’t happen, but instead to do a few things to help out and to keep helping, even if you feel good again. That way if you do have a problem in the future there might be a better understanding of what’s happening or even a treatment. A sort of contribution to a kind of insurance.

The alternative is that this is a problem that only the worst cases are left to try and fix and you just hope it doesn’t happen to you.

1 Like
#8

Yeah, I never really left this site, even while recovered. I messaged new people who were suffering to try and give some hope, advice and an ear to listen to, as so many people did for me. I’m not sure how else I can contribute really, but this disease will always be a part of me it seems and this site is the only thing that keeps me updated, whether it’s a good thing or not.

Good news is I managed to work today without having a panic attack, which I wouldn’t stop having last time I crashed.

Thanks for your message mate

1 Like
#9

@Tricky You will soon bounce back and will have a happy married life. While I personally feel that if someone has suffered PFS then its more physiological than psychological but if you are getting back to normal then I think your current state is actually due to psychological reasons.
Just take a break, laugh out loud, watch comedy movies, romantic movies and go out with your soon to be wife. Its probably anxiety and nothing else.

1 Like
#10

We know our own bodies and what happened when it happened. Therefore, you know if this is psychological or physiological. Also keep in mind that context comes into play here as well. So we know that buproprion is a dopamine and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor which prevents absorption of dopamine and norepinephrine. So more dopamine and norepinephrine is “available” in the brain. If you take bupropion and make more dopamine and norepinephrine available in the brain and your sexual sides substantially improve then technically one could say that this is a physiological issue. Because you adjusted your brain chemistry with bupropion and your sexual sides got better. I still disagree with this logic because this is not “all in your head” and you are not “imagining” it. You needed more dopamine and norepinephrine to function properly after taking Fin. Regardless if you want to consider this psychological or
physiological it really does not matter at the end of the day. What matters is that before talking fin you functioned fine and now after taking fin your natural dopamine and norepinephrine levels and the way your brain functions naturally does not give you proper sexual function. I would shut down the psychological VS physiological debate with the prescribing doctor by calling it a “brain chemistry” issue. A brain chemistry issue that you did not have prior to take fin

It sucks that it’s all guess and please don’t let me mess your plan up with your doctor but maybe “cycling” bupropion is the better way to go instead of increasing the dosage .

Please keep us posted

I deff have something going on with a dopamine issue . My sexual sides have improved since taking the amino’s that make dopamine in the body . Erections and labido have increased noticeably from a very poor level. Flaccid penis looks normal. Poor orgasm increased only a little that’s hardly a benefit. sensitivity unchanged but not currently horrible. If I can improve the poor orgasm a little and get another nudge forward with the erections I’ll be in a half way decent spot

#11

Thanks man. I’m glad you are doing better! I would cycle the buproprion, but I feel it is the only thing that is keeping me going right now. I dread to think how I would be if I went off of it.
You’re right, I know this is physiological and not just psychological (while I’m sure my mind is not exactly helping the situation)
When I crashed both times prior, it took exactly 3 weeks to regain my sexual function. I don’t count on it being a pattern because I may be disappointed, but what do you think the odds are of coming back from a third crash after 7-8months of recovery?

#12

Appreciate the support man, but I can feel this is physiological (while not doubting my psyche is playing a negative role) the brain connection has just disappeared again which is something I feel doesn’t happen in an instant for little reason (except possibly the turmeric). I do create a vicious cycle of worry and anxiety everytime I realize I have no reaction downstairs when with my fiance, but if this was purely psychological, I just don’t think it would be this extreme…

#13

That’s great.

I don’t know if that’s related to dopamine, but my motivation is like at an all-time low. Sometimes it’s just ridiculous.

#14

Sorry if you already mentioned this and I think you did . But the first two times you crashed were you on buproprion? It I remember you were on bupropion the first time you crashed from fin and then stopped the fin and stayed on the bupropion and recovered mostly from the sexual sides ? And then the second time you crashed not on the bupropion and then recovered from the second crash taking the bupropion ?

If I was in your shoes and had a recovery from two crashes using bupropion I would feel like my odds are decent

I wonder why it stops working and if increasing the bupropion dosage is the answer or if coming off of it and then reintroducing is the answer

I would probably stay on it if it was me at the higher dose for a little while to see if it improves you and if it does not discontinue and then reintroduce. Where I’m going with my thought logic is that if more dopamine in the brain is no longer working after the increase in dosage the answer for the time being is probable not even more dopamine in the brain so then you may want to consider discontinuing and trying again at a later time. I’m just thinking out loud obviously do everything through your doctor . Your doctor got you this far which is more then what most people with PFS can say. The fact that you got all the sexual sides and recovered mostly from them twice I think has you in better position then most here

#15

I think anyone with this physiological issue
would develop additional psychological issues
I mean how can we not

#16

Not including my first ‘crash’ or adverse reaction which left me impotent straight after taking the pill I recovered on buproprion, then discontinued it and crashed sometime later, I restarted it and recovered shortly after and stayed on it for many months and then just recently crashed even while still on it.
To be honest, my psych doesn’t know what’s going on, I actually suggested the higher dose, which he agreed too, so your theories are probably more valid than his.

#17

It seems like we are hitting on something here with dopamine and norepinephrine. I’m not getting as good results as you are yet by simply increasing dopamine synthesis but it took me out of complete impotence. I am going to increase the dosage and keep hammering the pathway. I’m even sleeping 7hrs straight the last three nights and my constipation has been pretty good in spite of taking no serotonin supplements. So far I’m seeing only benefits with no areas getting worse . Deff a successful protocol so far

Keep us up dated man . Hopefully the 300MG of bupropion gets you back to feeling recovered

#18

Have you had labs of any kind ?

#19

Oh wow so this dopamine regimen brought you out of impotence too? That’s incredible news bro. How long were you Impotent for before?

#20

Well it’s a long story because I have been at this for a long time .

But recently as in the last 7 months I took a bunch of amino acids all at the same time to increase serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, epinephrine, glutamate and GABA. I took them all together for 64 days and crashed on the 64th day. I experienced something that was very similar to what I experienced after taking Saw P. I stayed up for 8 days and for weeks could only sleep for 1-3 hrs per night. It took about 5 months to be able to consistently sleep for 5 hrs per night. And about 6 months to be able to sleep more then 5 hrs per night again. Now I’m sleeping 6 hrs going onto 7 hrs straight per night. When taking all those amino’s my constipation also went away which I later narrowed down to just the serotonin supplements. Also during my amino acid induced insomnia relapse all of my sexual sides got worse and stayed worse then their already shitty baseline until now . Now this
Solo DL-Phenylalanine and L-Tyrosine for the dopamine pathway has brought the sexual sides back to the regular baseline and then some . So who knows what will happen to me if I keep increasing the dopamine pathway . It’s crazy experimental but so far so good. If the amino acid/neurotransmitter path ends up getting me out of PFS then the recent relapse will have been worth it because I was far from recovered in both the sexual sides and constipation even before I did all this. I was good in sleep and that was it . It’s nuts to think I’m continuing to take things that I was on when I recently crashed and relapsed back into PFS level onset insomnia but I’m that confident I have found what’s wrong with me generally speaking. Neurotransmitters. What if anything can I do about it ? And will I make things worse ? Don’t know but I believe I found my problem

1 Like