Will this be the end of me?

Member Stories
#1

Welcome to our community. Please fill in the following template as a way of introducing yourself, and helping others to understand your background and situation.

Where are you from (country)?
USA

How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)
Google

What is your current age, height, weight?
25, 5’10, 155

What specific drug did you use (finasteride, dutasteride, saw palmetto, isotretinoin/Accutane, fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, leuprorelin, etc…)?
Finasteride

What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?
1mg/day

What condition was being treated with the drug?
Male Pattern Baldness

For how long did you take the drug (weeks/months/years)?
1 day

How old were you, and WHEN (date) did you start the drug?
25

How old were you when you quit, and WHEN (date) did you quit?
25

How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?
Cold turkey

How long into your usage did you notice the onset of side effects?
After 8 hours

What side effects did you experience that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?

Check the boxes that apply. You can save your post first, then interactively check/uncheck the boxes by clicking on them. If your symptoms change, please update your list.

Sexual
[X] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X] Erectile Dysfunction
[] Complete Impotence
[X] Loss of Morning Erections
[X] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[X] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[ ] Watery Ejaculate
[ ] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[ ] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[ ] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[ ] Confusion
[ ] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
[ ] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[ ] Slurring of Speech
[X] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[X] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[X] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[X] Suicidal Thoughts

Physical
[X] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[] Testicular Pain
[ ] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[X] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[ ] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[X] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[ ] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[ ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[ ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[X] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
[ ] Hearing loss
[ ] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature

[ ] Other (please explain)

What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?

If you have pre or post-drug blood tests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (please post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?

Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience?

Tell us your story, in your own words, about your usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.

Hi guys,

Looking for help, because the last 6 weeks have been the worst of my life, as I think you can relate.

I took a single pill roughly 6 weeks ago, and 8 hours later I developed a tinnitus in my left ear, and I noticed my penis was numb, disconnected from my head and unable to get erected. I panicked, went online, and panicked even more.

The following 3 weeks were my worst nightmare: complete impotence, brain fog, derealization, dark circles and wrinkles under eyes in the morning, tinnitus, no appetite, constipation, severe insomnia, panick attacks, suicide thoughts. Seriously considered killing myself at least 6 times, because of the fear it may be permanent and my life may never be the same.

If you are in the same situation, I want you to know that it can get better, and that since then, I made huge improvements. 6 weeks later, here are my symptoms remaining:
- mild insomnia (I wake up every 2-3 hours; I can live with that)
- circles and wrinkles under eyes upon waking up (I can live with that)
- mild emotional bluntness/anxiety (which I attribute to the trauma and my anxious state)
- sexual sides

I am now extremely worried about the sexual sides. They improved a bit: I was completely impotent in the first week, and now I can masturbate to porn. However, there are still problems:
- takes a lot of stimulation to reach and keep an erection (but I reach 100% prefin)
- lowered sensation/rubber skin (masturbation feels great with lube, but much less without it)
- lowered libido
- used to masturbate 2x/day, now I can go a week without it (no urge)
- I mostly masturbate to test myself, but when I do, I am really horny and feel attracted
to the girls in porn
- still feel attracted to pictures and curves of women, but it doesn’t trigger urge to
masturbate

With these symptoms after 6 weeks, is there any hope for me?

Having experienced some of the most intense ones, I really empathize for some of you that still have them, and I know I am extremely lucky to ‘‘only’’ have sexual sides. I really do. However, it doesn’t keep me from actively wanting to die. If I can’t continue to have sex with girls, I don’t see a future.

Will this get better? Since I’m still visually attracted to girls, is it possible my libido is still there but just numbed by my anxiety and ED? Could Viagra help my erections? What could I do for my libido?

Looking for hope, but also realistic answers and solutions. Sorry for the long message, I hope everyone is holding up, I deeply empathize with everyone, we are in this together.

#2

You and I had basically the same reaction to one pill and the same side effects. I only know of 3 other guys or so this happened to on this forum.

I’ve been off 5 months now. Started off Impotent after about 4 hours off the pill. I recovered about 80% then crashed again to impotency after a few weeks.
I thought that was it and was on the verge of suicide. Then I somehow recovered again a bit after a month, able to get horny with my gf.

I’m the same, has to be more of a conscious effort to get aroused, but I’m so glad I can even do that. For the previous 2 to 3 months I’ve felt pretty good. Only symptoms that remained were rubber penis/numbness and occasional brainfog and tinnitus. However the other day ED returned and scared me. I have ciallis on hand which is a huge help to get you through any sexual encounters and I would recommend it.

Message me if you have any questions or concerns mate. I know what you’re going though.
I remember all I was searching for was any glimpse of hope while going through the worst of it, and it seemed pretty bleak while searching here. However, there is hope, my friend.

#3

I can’t conceive such intense side-effects after one single pill… I’m devastated.

It’s really weird, my body keeps changing every 4-5 days. A week ago, my scrotum was contracted, small and leathery, and now it hangs low like a old guy. It also seems like my mental symptoms got better, but at the same time my penis/mind connection has deteriorated.

What’s weird is, if I use lube, and I can get a 100% erection and masturbating feels good. However, going from limp to that erection takes effort, time and stimulation. So would it be logical to say it is not technically ED? Maybe more like numb penis/ low libido. Some doctors quoted on the PFS website say if it happens, then it is permanent. How true is that, have you seen improvement over time?

Thanks for the support, it means the world, I don’t really know what to think at the moment.

#4

Crazy, right? Before taking that pill I was kind of pumped to be taking action against baldness.
Many deteriorate over time, but being basically rendered inert after a single pill feels like something has been forcefully ripped from you.

My balls were saggy and leathery for the first 2 months or so, I believe it’s tied to lack of libido. Mine thankfully contract and change like they used, which is a good thing I believe.

After my second crash to impotency, I really thought that was it. That it was permenant and I would live as a eunuch. But after improving again, it has shown me it is not permanent.

Another guy I knew who was similar to our case showed improvement after 6 months (before crashing again) which shows there can be wild fluctuations, and from stories on here, fluctuations can be a good thing.

Only thing we can do is give it time, mate. Hopefully the next few months show some improvement for you.

#5

Damn, not easy to digest. I keep holding on to the typical 3 month timeframe, but given the fact that I had a lot of symptoms the first weeks, and that I still have some serious sexual sides 6 weeks later, could I say that I definitely have PFS?

#6

It could be. But you could recover too so don’t despair just yet. Even if they persist longer than 3 months it is not a death sentence and recoveries/ improvements do happen.

#7

I’d say the fact you can get really horny when masturbating is a great sign, so stay hopeful.

#8

Thanks man I appreciate it, I feel so alone in this. Are there recoveries for 1 pill people like us? I fear that since we respond so badly, we might never recover.

Do you feel recovered? Like, to what extent are you living a regular life? Sorry, don’t want to bother you.

1 Like
#9

I’m no longer suicidal and can have sexual relations. Usually unassisted but sometimes not (ciallis). I’ve tried to not think about it, get on with life and be grateful for what I’ve still got.
It’s tough at first but it gets better.

I know of one guy who recovered, another who hasn’t, and a couple who never posted again. I’m a partial recovery I guess? Odds are you’ll be okay.