I feel the special feeling in my stomach with a heartbeat in the same time when a look in to eyes…you know, over 2 years after my quit, sexual attraction is returned i think… maybe not completely,but am suspicious at that issue. obviously
Nothing
I still have the reflex to turn and admire - but agree with BC - Nothing
No leap in the loins here either.
First of all, great question. I was meaning to post it myself.
Like STD, I still turn and admire. I wondered why? I think STD said it best – it’s reflex… a reflexive response. Intellectually, we know “X, Y and Z” features are attractive to us, so we look. But it’s not the same now. We look, perform the visual analysis, but there is no corresponding biofeedback response. Not the one we’re accustomed to, anyway.
Where before there would be an aesthetic appreciation coupled with a biological response, now it’s just an empty, vacant appreciation. The absence of libido takes all the fun away. And the fact my junk is suboptimal, sometimes malnourished and usually malfunctioning, means even if the girl was interested in me, what could I do about it? Nothing. It would be like asking to drive a Ferrari even though you know you dont have any legs.
Couldn’t have said it any better myself, Visionquest
visionquest,
I feel the same (very similar). It is the biofeedback response (biological response) that is missing completely. Many PFS guys feel like that. Thus, the problem could be related to neurosteroids. Perhaps we also have a neurological / nerve damage (neuropathy etc.)
The urge, the killer instinct, the primal desire to mate, to fuck, is gone.
At the beginning of my downward spiral, I had erectile failure in romantic situations, but I still had the thirst. I thought I was different than the rest of the PFSers because I still had raging desire, and my penis would just not cooperate. This made me think I had mechanical failure, but it turned out that blood flow was never an issue.
Over time, the desire went away. Whereas normally the weekend would signal a time to go out and meet girls and release tension, I realized that slowly, it wouldn’t bother me if I had not ejaculated/orgasmed. (And I think testosterone treatment masked this for a certain period). Masturbation was something I was doing to try to feel normal, and out of conditioned ritual behavior, for the payoff. But getting there was and is difficult. The sensation and pleasure is not there. Anyone can stroke his dick long enough and force blood flow, and eventually come. But there is some major disconnect between signaling from the brain to penis. The signal is faint or non-existant, and the sensation is dull. The penis feels raw, instead of highly sensitive in a pleasurable way.
We’re conditioned to cerebrally process attractive women (similar to if we had our nuts cut off), but we don’t get sprung anymore. We’re not truly aroused. And even if we are, many of us do not feel pleasure or sensitivity like we used to. When I was sexually active during PFS, I would have to look down at my penis to see if the Cialis was working, or brush my hand on my penis. I wouldn’t get that warm surge of blood rushing to my penis. And I could last forever (as long as I entered inside and kept the motion and friction going to maintain hardness). I would have to really focus to get over the hump and ejaculate. A normal, healthy male has to focus NOT to come too soon!
So yeah, I CONSTANTLY notice beautiful women and turn my head around (sometimes even more just to pretend I’m normal in the company of other guys), and I still have the same tastes and standards of attraction. But even though checking out women is sexual, this checking out is not sexual. Because it feels like I’m observing my subjective tastes, just like I could pinpoint what I like about different cars or guitars or architecture. But I’m not overcome with the drive to chase and attempt to date/mate/fuck. In the past, going any extended period without having sex drove me insane!
Similarly, upon reflection of my dating of girls during this downward debacle, gone was the tingling sensation of a girl whispering in my ear, of even kissing. It’s like I was on auto-pilot. A robot. Going through the motions from my programmed memory on what to do. There was some pleasure, but it was a tiny, tiny, tiny fraction of the enjoyment of the past, never mind the stress of hoping the Cialis would work.
I couldn’t of put it better myself, that is exactly it. Having experienced brief recoveries i can say with certainty that a normal young male is completely different. I am a completely different person when these symptoms go into remission.
Honestly, and as much as I sound like a creep… ‘I wonder what her p*ssy looks like’… I don’t get an erection tho. That’s one thing that I’ve seen very little improvement on… spontaneous erections