When do I wake up from this nightmare?

Member Stories
#1
  1. Where are you from (country)?

UK

  1. How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)

Google

  1. What is your current age, height, weight?

24, 5 foot 10 inches

  1. Do you excercise regularly? If so, what type of excercise?

No

  1. What type of diet do you eat (vegetarian, meat eater, raw, fast-food/organic healthy)?

Whatever really

  1. Why did you take Finasteride (hair loss, BPH, other)?

Hairloss

  1. For how long did you take Finasteride (weeks/months/years)?

18 days

  1. How old were you, and WHEN (date) did you start Finasteride?
  1. June 2012
  1. How old were you when you quit, and WHEN (date) did you quit?
  1. June 2012
  1. How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?

Cold turkey

  1. What type of Finasteride did you use – Propecia, Proscar, Fincar or other generic?

Propecia

  1. What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?

1mg/day

  1. How long into your use of Finasteride did you notice the onset of side effects?

5 days

  1. What side effects did you experience while on the drug that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?

Put an X beside all that apply:

Sexual
[X] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence
[X] Loss of Morning Erections
[X] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[X] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[ ] Watery Ejaculate
[X] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[X] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[X] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[X] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[X] Confusion
[X] Memory Loss / Forgetfullness
[X] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[X] Slurring of Speech
[X] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[ ] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[ ] Depression / Melancholy

Physical
[X] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[OCCASIONALLY] Testicular Pain
[X] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[OCCASIONALLY] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[X] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[X] Muscle Wastage
[X] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[OCCASIONALLY] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[ ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[X] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[ ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[ ] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature

[ ] Other (please explain)

Tintinus, Decrease in Penis Sensitivity, Decrease in pleasure from orgasms

  1. What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?

No treatment but taking Fish Oil, Zinc, Vit D, Niacin, L-tyrosin, L-arganine, Cialas to help with symptoms

  1. If you have pre or post-Finasteride bloodtests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (pls post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?

  2. Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience with Finasteride?

Merck can eat my shit!

  1. Tell us your story, in your own words, about your Finasteride usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.

I had used propecia a number of years ago for a few months but had never given it more than a few months, this time I decided I was going to give it a proper chance since my hair was really annoying me.

On the 5th day I noticed while I was sitting at my PC my penis went numb all of a sudden, I thought I had my legs crossed or something as simple as that, I also noticed I was starting to urinate alot more. I continued taking for another 2 weeks as per the description on the label, but my libido kept decreasing. I came of propecia, within about a week I really started to notice that my junk wasnt connected to my brain anymore. I remember thinking to myself, shit I havent watched porn in over 2 weeks (WTF!) and panicing, at that point I turned on some porn and remember feeling like ‘I didnt even have a desire to watch this’, I started to think to myself maybe I’m just over thinking this and so I just tried to relax for a while. Within a week everything came back to normal and I breathed a sigh of relief, until I crashed 1 week later. I became super anxious and had a huge panic attack - one of the ones where you think you are dying (i wish i had have died).

Since then I’ve seen 5 doctors, 1 psychiatrist, 1 endocrinologist all of which insist I’m either depressed or overthinking the situation and once I relax and stop reading propeciahelp.com things will return to normal.

I’ve lost everything over this, my personality, emotions, my business, girlfriend, family and friends - I still have my family and friends but since I’m an emotionless zombie I don’t connect with any of them anymore. I used to have a pretty big personality and always up for a laugh, now I’m a social recluce filled with social anxiety, I dont enjoy anything I used to. Losing my gf over this is definitely the hardest thing.

Every night I go to sleep I wish that I dont wake up, I really don’t want to exist on this planet anymore, like I said I’ve lost everything over this I don’t see any sort of future for myself now. Everyday I’m haunted by my decision of taking this poison and think of how different life would be if I had never touched it.

Where do I go from here? I think of suicide on a daily basis now, not because I’m depressed or suicidal but because I really don’t have a reason to be about here anymore and I don’t see that changing.

#2

You only stopped in late June… it is very early days for you and you will likely find time helps with symptomatic improvement, especially as it relates to the cognitive side effects.

That said, try and relax and not to stress or worry about things at this stage, there is more and more happening with media and scientific awareness which will hopefully provide us answers and hopefully, possible treatments down the road. Try to clear your head and step away from the site for awhile, focus on other things in your life if you can.

That said, suicide is not the answer – stay strong as you will get through this rough period, the good days will outnumber the bad. If you want to take action, you might consider joining litigation against the drug manufacturer.

#3

Hey mate,

Hang in there. Remember what I said. Get those levels done, your already seeing postive results by your tetosterone increasing great chance you will recover.

:slight_smile:

#4

Don’t loose hope, I know it is very tough. it is easier said than done but killing yourself is not the solution. Just live for others. Be a part of crusade against 5 ARI poison.

#5

I have sent you a PM, hopefully it will help you.

Try not to let this condition get the better of you.
Medical research is underway and we now have the Post Finasteride Syndrome foundation which we can all donate to, in order to progress further medical initiatives.

#6

Thanks for encouragement and pm’s men.

Quick update

Mentally:
This past week I’ve definitely noticed my brain fog lifting a good bit. I’m not walking into door frames as much and I’m not as clumsy anymore. I’m able to concentrate a lot more now too.

Socially I’m a bit less awkward and able to laugh sometimes so my emotions have returned a little. I’m nowhere near my normal self though and still avoid social situations a bit because of this.

My ambitions and aspirations have returned a little but again nowhere like they were. I still have a real ‘fuck it’ attitude to everything…“It’s only after you lose everything you’re free to do anything” In other words I’ve become a bit of a cunt.

I think part of my mental problems are dealing with the trauma and shock of this whole experience. I’m sure you know what I mean by this.

Physically:
My sleep has improved slightly but still waking up a few times a night and occasionally with hot flashes.

I have a serious appetite now, I never get full and unlike before fin, my body puts it on as fat. I used to be able to eat and not put on weight. Now I look like I’ve spent the summer drinking beer! I’m worried I’m going I have to worry about becoming obese now. I’ve put on over a stone and lost a serious amount of muscle mass and strength. Either way right now I’m just listening to my body and giving it what it wants.

Things that are pissing me off at the moment aswel include tintinus, lack of taste, lack of smell, constipation and poor digestion, muscle/eyelid twitches.

My hair has started falling out again-I’ve mixed feelings about this.

Sexually:
My junk is abit bigger than it was, they are more normal shaped and not as spongy as they were, still getting the odd pain shooting through them though. Still sitting up very high however.

My end hasn’t been numb since I posted and has almost retuned to its pre-fin size but I think this has a lot to do with cialis which works wonders on me-its half life for me is around 48 hours so I get spontaneous semis sometimes 3 days after taking it. I know it’s superficial but it’s a bit of an encouragement.

My erections aren’t as stiff as pre-fin and I still need physical stimulation even with porn to get it up so my libido is still really low, I’m wondering how much of this is psychologically related.

My cum varies a lot but its come a long way since my crash were it was almost entirely water. Now it varies between clumpy and normalish pre-fin looking. I think my prostate is still shut down since I havent noticed any precum yet.

Orgasms have also improved over this last week but its doesnt take me very long to climax.

I crashed around 20th July so I’ve just gone past the 2 month mark. Overall I’ve seen some pretty significant improvements over this last week especially with hair dropping again. I’m hoping these improvements will continue.

Heres my status at the moment:
Mentally: 50% recovered since crash
Physically: 40% recovered since crash
Sexually 40% recovered since crash

I haven’t changed my supplements at all.

Still taking:

2x cod liver oil capsules morning&night
25mg zinc morning&night
2000iu vit d morning&night
500mg l-tyrosine morning
500mg l-arganine night
5mg cialis cycled every 3 days
100mg niacin every 3 days

I might start supplementing vit c and probiotics to help with constipation since this is a real problem for me at the moment

I’ve been speaking to a friend of mine who suffered with CFS for 10 years. He has recommended I start taking ‘urdos oil’ as it contains more fats that help the brain. He also heavily advocates an American company called Garden of Life to get some high quality probiotics and a supplement called ‘Perfect food’. He says it contains a full spectrum of stuff the body needs and the body should heal itself if its given the right tools. Sound pretty ambitious considering the mess we’re in but I’m willing to try this approach since people have claimed vast improvements/recoveries from healthy diets and juicing which he also recommended.

#7

My word, our symptoms are so similar. Good luck with everything mate. Try to roll with life as best as you can while dealing with this.

#8

More updates

Current regime (changes highlighted in bold)
2x udos choice oil morning&night
1x 10billion strains probiotic morning
1x digestive enzyme before each meal (usually 3 times a day)
25mg zinc morning&night
2000iu vit d morning&night
500mg l-tyrosine morning
500mg l-arganine night
5mg cialis cycled every 3 days

Mentally

I’ll probably repeat myself here with what I said in about udos choice oil in the natural supplements forum but I’ve definitely noticed huge improvements mentally and even physically since starting this stuff.

Physically:
My sleep has improved again and no longer wake during the night and am able to get to sleep much easier now

My appetite has calmed down now so I think I’ve lost some of the weight I put on. I eat more normally now. Constipation and digestion are much better now, I think probiotics and digestive enzyme really help here. But I have no problems passing stools now.

Physical problems still apparent includ lack of taste, lack of smell and occasional muscle twitches.

Hairloss has increased to pre-fin rate, I can only see this as a positive sign right now.

Sexually:
My junk changes alot day-to-day, quite often they sit up ‘pre-puberty like’. I try not to dwell on it at the moment, I mean it pisses me off but not a lot I can do about it currently. I still get shooting pains through my left nut occasionally.

I notice that cialis helps me a ton even when Im not errect. After 3-4 days of not taking cialis I sometimes notice my penis is uncomfortable when Im sitting down, as if it shriveled into my body.

Erections slightly stiffer now but I still need some physical stimulation to get it up, but having said that I’ve noticed my libido increase slightly - im going to monitor this to see how it improves.

My cum is now almost normal, maybe a little wattery but not far from normal.

Orgasms continue to improve, I still dont get a huge dopamine rush before or after but when I come it definitely feels good

Heres my status at the moment:
Mentally: 70% recovered since crash
Physically: 50% recovered since crash
Sexually 60% recovered since crash

I’m going to start supplementing Vit C because I feel this would be great for my overall health. Also I havent got a hold of Garden of Life Perfect Food yet but think this will also promote recovery.

Will keep you all updated

#9

How about your muscle wastage? How much did you lose and have you regained anything?

#10

Muscle wastage has definitely stopped and possibly reversed but its a little early for me to say that for certain but I have a lot of my strength back and the feeling of being old has faded a lot too. However sometimes the thought of physical activities is a bit daunting-I think a lot of this is psychological .

Mentally I’m still making improvements, last night I hung out with some friends and was able to laugh and make jokes like my old self. My personality is starting to reappear.

I feel like my libido is slowly increasing, definitely noticing girls a lot more.

With all these improvements I’m much more positive and able to live much more normally.

I can’t say for definite if I’m just slowing making natural improvements or the combination of supplements is either promoting recover or helping with symptoms but I would encourage anyone reading this to get a high quality probiotic (10 billion stains+) digestive enzymes and that udo choice oil, since I attribute all of these to my improvements.

#11

Thought I would share more of my experiences as I’ve noticed a major improvement in my sexual function over the past few days. My regime hasnt changed since my last update but I still plan to make the changes I mentioned.

Phsyically
Continued improvements here. The only thing I’m really noticing these days is Tintinus, Lack of Taste, Lack of smell, Beard not growing at same rate. While all of these bug me, they’re not hugely debilitating and I recon will continue to improve over time. I must mention that I can still taste, I just dont get the same enjoyment from food anymore, also I always had a lack of smell but now its almost non existant. Similary I also had mild tintinus from a gig I was at last year but fin has exasperated this

Mentally
Brain fog is still at bay which is absolutely fantastic. I’m able to continue my work as a programmer and think clearly now. Psycologically I’m still suffering I think. This whole experience has left me with a ‘chip on my shoulder’. I’m definitely not the same person as I was. I’m much more arrogant and passive, which I know can be attributed to the drug but I think alot of this is due to the circumstances. I think this is a pretty traumatic experience and we loose alot because of the damage this drug has done so I think we’re naturally going to be pissed off with everything. I’m hoping with time, and as I continue to recover I’ll become more my old self. Please respond with your thoughts on this, I’m curious to see how many people agree with this.

Sexually
These past couple of days especially I’ve noticed my libido really starting to increase, nowhere near pre-fin but definitely noticably improvements. I’ve also started getting morning erections more often, and when I do have an erection they are much harder. Orgasims are almost completely normal now. And I can have go again 15mins after. Cum continues to look more and more normal. Numbness sensation/shrunken into body hasnt happened in the past few days and my sensitivity has increased.

Overall I’m still noticing lots of improvements

Status:
Mentally: 75% recovered since crash
Physically: 60% recovered since crash
Sexually 65% recovered since crash

Again anyone wishing to follow a similar pattern should follow my suppliments regime especially udos oil, good probiotic and digestive enzymes. Cant make any garantees but since I started these 3 sups ive noticed huge improvements overall.

Plans:
Start supping: Vit C, Stronger Probiotic (30billion+ Strains), Garden of Life Perfect Food, Running/Exercise

#12

It appears you are bouncing back quite well. I had a similar level crash with all the side effects and it took me many, many months for my mental sides to improve. Glad you are able to work again relatively quickly. I will try the cod liver oil, does it have to be that brand or can it be any extra strength one?

Maybe getting on regular cialis early on helped you sexually, or at least in maintaining penile health. I think this is something we all need to do and I feel rueful I didn’t, but I was fighting on too many fronts to be that bothered. Other members like anon have said regular cialis helped them, Criser also recommends it now (if anyone is still listening to him).

I need to ask about the muscle loss again. Did it happen all over your physique and in weird places like your face, ass, neck etc? Or was it just arms and legs or whatever and you are putting it back on already? Mine is so bad I can’t really do anything to restore it, although my strength has improved somewhat.

Did you get insomnia and has that improved?

#13

Hi Luckfax, the reason why I advocat udos choice oil over standard cod liver oil is because I was taking standard cod liver oil prior to trying udo and noticed significant improvements almost immediately upon taking udos. That said I also started taking probiotics and digestive enzymes on the same day so its possible they are also the reason for improvements. You can read more about it here: udoschoice.co.uk/udos_oil_foundation_fats I’m really interested to see if other people have similar improvements upon taking this.

I really agree with this, before I started taking cialis I had that rigid flacid feeling nearly all the time. This is never the case anymore. So I would definitely recommend anyone reading this (particulary if you are a new suffer) to get some 5mg cialis and cycle it every 3-4 days. (Its free in UK under prescription)

I mostly noticed it on my legs and arms and maybe my ass. I’ve regained most of my strength I think, its really hard to know whether this is true or I’ve just become acustomed to my ‘new strength’ but my biceps are not what they were. I used to be pretty lean anyway but I had a pretty good figure especially by chest and stomach even though I never worked out, think I just had high motabolism and good genes but now Ive got a bit of a gut on me: my motabolism has definitely slowed down.

Yes I suffered from insomnia and even strange sleep disorders such as waking up 2-3 times before I eventually got over and also hot flashes. But now my sleep is almost completely normal: this might correlate with my regime, I cant remember.

I know the physical sides like mustle loss piss you off but try not to worry about them too much man. How are you otherwise?

#14

Probably coping a lot better than I was. It’s been a while and things like sleep, fatigue and depression have improved drastically but still have severe sexual (almost not bothered lol), physical (muscle loss/weight gain) and mental (disorientation and blankness) issues. I have tried to tackle things as best I could given the information available on here and elsewhere but have never adopted regimens like yourself and wonder if that has hindered me.

We have seen a couple of cases where younger guys have what appear to be really bad crashes but bounce back quite well, hopefully that will continue for you. I’ll give that udos stuff a chance and report back.

#15

You should really be taking something dude, theres alot of people on here taking oil, zinc and vit d. You might be surprised how much better you feel. The cost of these supplements is next to nothing so its definitely worth a shot, even if it makes you feel marginally better surely thats good enough reason. Let me know how you get on.

#16

Okay update time:

For the last 2 weeks Ive been completely off my regime, havent any huge improvements for better or worse since stopping. I dont know if the mental gains I made were related to Udos oil or natural recovery.

Phsyically
Starting to realize that I can taste and smell but the feedback I get from such things are next to none (will elaborate later) Tintinus doesnt seem to be as bad I suppose - probably used to it. Mustle attropy is aweful, it actually is uncomfortable for me to sit since my ass is so boney now. I’ve also got a raging appetite and am putting on alot of fat around my gut - this is not like me.

Mentally
Brain fog is still gone. Athough I’m completely emotionless. This is really hard for me. I was a decent, friendly, considerate person (IMO) but now I just dont give a fuck about anyone or anything; its annoying because I want to get to know my parents before they pass, I want to be the funny guy with the care free attitude again; I’m simply not this person or anywhere close to him anymore. Its saddens me that this is my future. I dont consider myself depressed no matter how many docters insist I am but this really does frustrate me. Has anyone had any success in recovering theri emotions?

Sexually
I actually consider Libido to be an emotion, if I’m ever feeling marginally I ususally notice Libido is also improved, the two come hand in hand in my opinion. Noctural and Mornings have actually improved alot and Im not even taking cialas anymore. Also these past few days Ive noticed my dick isnt as rigid as it was… Orgasims arent what they were and I still dont get alot of feedback of enjoyment.
Overall I’m still noticing lots of improvements.

Status:
Mentally: 50% recovered since crash (incredibly generous before: waiting on emotions to return)
Physically: 50% recovered since crash (incredibly generous before: mustle attropy is bad)
Sexually 65% recovered since crash

My psych prescribes me Valdoxan - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agomelatine
Its an antidepressant (not ssri) - it seems to be just synthetic melatonin, so theres no sexual sides. I didnt want to take it but my family are desperate for me to try anything - they believe I’m depressed. I’m willing to take it to give them some encouragement and I guess prove them wrong - but maybe I’ll be pleasently surprised…
I’ve only taken it a few days and havent noticed any improvements other than it gives me lots of dreams and puts me to sleep.

G’night

A