Hey guys.
I would say that 1 month ago i was probably 95% recovered and had been so for quite some time. For whatever reason at a down period i wanted to try testogel again. It makes me very horny and i was going away with my gf for the weekend so it seemed like a good idea. Well i also used it for a full week a couple of weeks earlier for similar reasons. That was stupid!
So first time when i went on for full week i felt really good (only if i took dim with the Tgel)
I go off it because i seem to be feeling some anxiety coming back wich i havent had for a year or so before this so i guit. A week goes by Med-free and i feel very very good but then anxiety comes back and this time its a full blown attack, feel terrible for a few days. Then me and gf goes away for weekend i decide to take Tgel for the weekend to stop the anxiety wich it does and improve libido wich it does again. I do however feel abit sluggish in general. Stop Tgel again on the following monday and by wednesday i have all the symptoms i got when quitting propecia. My legs seem to have poor circulation and my face aswell as they both go abit numb.
I go to test my testosterone about a week later and to my suprise its still 16 (10-30) wich it also was my latest test before when i was feeling okay (atleast alot better).
This has me thinking whats really going on here? Is it not the hormone levels that are messing with us? is it the the swing in levels that affect me?
Anyways im going in tomorrow for a full hormone panel (more or less). It will be very interesting to c if something differs from when i was feeling really good.
I cant help to blame myself for going back on T when 95% recovered and now back in the damn gutter again but its not gonna help me to put myself down over this so im gonna let it go and accept it. Just like i quit propecia my balls ache like they havent done for 2 years or so. They hang low and are warm. My backpain and numbness in legs and arms are back too. My energy levels have gone from id say pretty good to awfull as im getting worn out going down the road for a few blocks whilst just a couple of weeks ago i was able to push myself on 100 miles bike rides.
Im not as bad as when quitting propecia but all the symptoms are here again and i almost forgot how F***** awfull i felt for 2 years. Hopefully this recovery will be faster and full!
Will be interesting to c the labs when they get back in a couple of weeks. If something obvious is going on im going back on TRT to try and find a perfect balance with meds cause i just havent got the time to wait it out once again. Bah!
I also dont want to scare you off regarding TRT because the best days i had the last 4 years was when i for whatever reason seemed to find a balance while on testosterone replacement. So its a balance act and also a risk that i now learned the hardway. Its weird because i did not feel worse the other times i tried trt if anything i felt better. Jury is still out on DIM as it definetly reduce prostatic DHT and is an antiandrogen according to studies. Maybe thats the drug that got me this bad i just dont know!?
Again BAH!