Those who can't work: how do you survive?

General Discussion
#1

I am experiencing severe anxiety, depression, and brain fog. All I’ve done the past 2 days was lay in bed or lay in the fetal position in the shower. I am uncomfortable even existing, and whenever I’m out, I feel extreme anxiety and scurry home. Every second of existence is hell.

If this continues, I don’t think I will be able to do any job, including low-pay jobs (if they even hire me). I won’t be able to make any money, and I don’t know how I am going to survive. I’m thinking maybe I should commit suicide to prevent myself from being a leech on society/my family.

My mom is upper-middle class, so I could go live with her. I could also go live with my aunt, who is a doctor. But they are old, so I will only be able to live with them for maybe 30 years tops (more likely, 10 or 20). I also don’t want to live with my mom because I will be giving a bad example to my younger sister, who is currently a teenager.

I’m struggling to figure out how I will put food in my mouth. Maybe I can get disability? Sometimes, I think, what’s the point? Either I stay with my family and get better in the next 5-10 years, or I commit suicide, because there’s no point in living like this.

My question is: how do those of you without jobs and without any ability to get a job survive?

#2

Hey there - I’m not very active on this board but felt the need to respond to your post.

Prior to taking fin, I went through periods of severe anxiety and depression where I lost all my ability to function or think clearly. I felt like I would never be able to live a normal life but through counseling, trial and error, and the support of my friends and family I learned how my thoughts influenced my reality and how I could solve my problems in a rational way. Numerous friends of mine (who have never taken fin) have had similar experiences - my point being that life is difficult and has its ups and downs, Fin or no Fin, and your family and friends will be there to support you because they’ve dealt with something similar themselves at some point in there lives. If you ask around I think you’ll find that most people have hit a low.

You need to reach out to your friends and family for support, they’ll understand how difficult life can be sometimes - I don’t know your mom but I DO know she would love to take care of you into her 90s than have any other outcome.

Also - realize you likely have two sets of symptoms happening at the same time - try to separate them. You have your symptoms caused by PFS, and then you have anxiety/stress about PFS. Don’t underestimate how much the anxiety/stress may be contributing to your current state - it can wreak havoc on the body. The good news is that you can treat the anxiety and stress by building a support group (your family and friends), cognitive therapy counseling, and changing your perspective (easier said than done, I know). The other good news being that there is a whole network of people here trying to tackle the direct symptoms of PFS.

Finally - pick up a copy of Feeling Good by David Burns. I never thought I would be recommending a self-help book but his list of 10 cognitive distortions (ways we perceive reality that are false or inaccurate) is extremely helpful. For example:

YOU CANNOT PREDICT THE FUTURE - You do not know how you will be feeling 30 years from now, 5 years from now, or even 6 months from now!

LIFE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE - There are many more outcomes in life than 1. stay in bed or 2. completely cure yourself of all your problems. Anxiety and stress is a part of life. You will likely find a middle ground, where you have a healthy, productive, engaged, fulfilling life with its own ups and downs much like your peers

I hope you’ll be able to put your mental health first and give yourself time to heal

#3

You said it Simple87. We must be strong and try to find peace. Everyday that passes, we are that much closer to expanding our knowledge on the issue as well as finding a solid treatment option. I strongly believe that.

I know how you are feeling Dumed. This is the hardest part, when you are feeling all of these symptoms for the first time, it is absolutely frightening. Be strong brother. I have found that taking fish oil as per Mews advice has helped me so, so much with feelings of depression etc. (lease note I use fish oil pills for months and felt nothing, but I noticed an instant improvement from using actual oil). Stay strong, try to believe this will get better and that when a treatment option becomes available, life will feel so much more precious than it ever has. In the meantime, you must not throw in the towel now. Be strong, and you might find this to be a life changing experience for the better, something that will make you appreciate life in a much different way. Just hang on brother.

#4

dumed- I’ve been experiencing alot of those feelings. I can’t do nearly what I used to and small tasks seem almost impossible to accomplish. I’m in business with my family which makes some things easier but I can’t do the things they used to count on me for anymore and it’s definately affected our bottom line. I try to push myself through work best I can even though some days that only means four or five hours. I too have to spend one or two days every week in bed due to this over the last two years. Before Fin I was always out doing something. You might want to consider filing for disability. Hopefully our condition has finally been accepted and those of us who can’t work won’t have that stress on you anymore and can concentrate on their health. I think there are alot of us here who are just like you and barely hangin on.

#5

I know what you mean. But we need to work on a cure. I know I have recovered to 100 percent a few months ago. So I think our bodies are still able to function.

I am sure if you explain your problem you will be able to live with your mum. Perhaps you could then get into growing your own food, eat less meat. This will be good for your health and your budget.

#6

Have you discussed your condition with your family and friends? Your mom sounds like an ideal solution for the mean time. You may improve in the next year/2/3 so you don’t need to look 10 years down the line. Try to find a middle ground in the mean time where you can survive and contribute to a solution.

Try to focus on the day-to-day things instead of your future and do the little things in the mean time that have generally been healthier for members of this board rather than not doing them such as:

eating a paleo diet
eliminating sugars, caffeine, alcohol, and grain or grain-based foods such as bread and pasta
getting enough rest
not overdoing sexual activity or masturbation especially if you’re in a fragile recovery period - maybe once every three days
moderate exercise

If you can’t do something you can’t do something regardless of how hard you try.

#7

Thank you for all the kind words, guys, and the suggestions. The problem with staying with my mom is that she does not want me to stay with her. She doesn’t really understand that I am suffering from any sort of illness and thinks it’s all in my head (even though my father committed suicide). She thinks I can just snap out of it by telling myself I’ll be fine. Telling myself I’ll be fine (and meaning it) does help a bit, and can calm me down. The problem is that I am incapable of dealing with any sort of stress. Any sort of setback sets off the anxiety and makes it much harder to do anything at all.

My mom (and most other people) think I should just go find a job, and all my problems will be solved. When I was feeling better for a few weeks, I convinced myself that I was cured and went on some interviews. I got some 2nd interviews. I then started preparing for the interviews, realized I couldn’t, and the anxiety set in. Even if I get the job, I don’t think I can do the work required of me, because I will be so worried I’d get fired I’d get massive anxiety. I am already worried I’m going to get fired and I haven’t even started working yet. I realize these thoughts are ridiculous but they keep on popping up. I think I need to relax and not think about getting a job until I feel better. My mom does not agree, so she is pushing me to go to this 2nd interview, which I am sure I’ll fail. I guess I will go anyway, because the worst thing that can happen is that I will not have a job afterwards, which is already the case now.

I am going to try to be healthier, I was already trying, but when I felt cured I decided to start eating/doing other things. That was probably a bad idea, although the bad feelings only really started when I was trying to prepare for the interview.

#8

Sorry to hear about your mom, it sounds like you are in a difficult situation like roberto t. Try cleaning up your diet first, poor diet/alcohol/caffeine/etc may contribute to PFS induced anxiety.

#9

I was working a couple of years, despite of PFS. It was when I realized that the problem was much more complex than I had anticipated, and the fact that no doctors would help me, that things went to hell. I didn’t have the capacity for two jobs. I was living with my parents up until recently, and they provided me with everything I needed, including medications I was experimenting with. I’m currently on disability (I’ve been so for a year), and I recently moved in with my girlfriend. Yeah, my own research has begun to pay off healthwise… I’ve begun living again, and I’m going back to an ordinary job as soon as my condition has stabilized. My family is still paying for the medications, btw.

Bottom line is, do what you have to do to survive and solve your problems. Forget about everything else.