I was just curious about the guys on here who are in relationships- were you in this relationship before or after PFS?
I haven’t been in a relationship since before all of this started 4.5 years ago. I feel like it would be really good for my mental health to get back out there but I know there will have to be the inevitable pfs discussion. How’d you guys handle this?
Just have the conversation. I usually wait for a while (I’ve only had it a couple of times). I had it recently, and got a great response and even got a PFS donation as an Xmas gift (which I thought was fucking brilliant).
Yeah - don’t be afraid. I usually advise people of how BAD it was… compared to how it is now. It isn’t as tragic of a story now, because I can end positively with “there are these two major studies being done, and my symptoms are a lot more manageable than they used to be.”
Been in a relationship for the past 6 months. No way this would have been possible at anytime in the previous 8 years. I’ve had many drunk hookups where my dick was just a numb limp noodle. Most girls just took it as them not “being pretty enough”.
Lately I have made some strides in my health and a relationship is possible now. I cycle through Cialis, Viagra, sublingual viagra, and Levitra. It does not work how it should, but it allows me to get the job done. Sex drive is a bigger issue for me than EQ with PDE5i’s. There are some times when I am having sex I actually have to reach down and feel my dick if its hard just because the sensitivity is not all there all the time.
I actually was able to have sex twice on New Years without any drugs, so hopefully that is just a testament to my semi-significant improvements.
Never had a PFS talk. Nor do I think I ever would. . Most doctors don’t even believe us.
I am basically following the “fake it till you make it” rule.
Mentally, I am stronger than anytime in the past 9 years. That helps a lot. No female wants to be w a guy who is at a weak point mentally.
Fake it till you make it. I like that. Im gonna start giving that approach a go.
I have made semi improvements in the last four years, which is why Im starting to have a little confidence in finding someone.
I have been very low in the last couple of months and I wonder if being in a relationship or at least seeing girls for which I had some kind of feeling even if we were just hanging out and having sex didn’t help me keeping my head above water. I feel completely disconnected from people right now.
I’m not sure it’s possible to live without love. You see old ladies buying pets as a compensation once they renounced to love with other human beings. I actually thought about getting a cat to have some interaction with some being in my lonely days when I spent all day inside my house. I remember some guy posting that he didn’t think he would still be here without his dog.
Anyway, my point is that it’s better if you have something you value in your life. In my case, I’m not totally nonfunctional sexually. My problem would be more that I can do it maybe two times or maybe tree times a week in a good week when I have a regular girl (variety of girls would probably be beneficial for yields). Lately, I’m only been trying to hookup with girls for sex. It’s still better than nothing. I spent about a year without having sex with anyone, and when it happened, it was really more than only the pleasure of it. I actually felt as if, all of a sudden, everything was back in his place, that I was a normal human being, apart from having PFS.
Not so long ago, I met a girl who was a friend’s friend. The other people at the bar were couples, so at some point, I ended up talking and being with her while the others were doing their things, including some bedroom action at some point. Finally, she brought me home and she slept in my bed with me, but she didn’t want to take her clothes off or cuddle with me. I’m going to try to see her again. I don’t know how it will turn out, but it’s strange, the fact that she rejected me when I was kissing or trying to cuddle makes me feel something, as if her feelings generated some feelings in me. I mean, for instance, I was seeing that girl just for sex and it was working for a while because she liked to show me to her friends and say I was her lover, but there weren’t any feelings, it was really more about sex. But I think it’s better for people like us to be in relationship with people to keep this part of your being alive. I don’t like the idea of doing this just to feel better, but the fake it till you make it is not a bad principle in this case. I mean, maybe you don’t feel anything, but being put in presence of real feelings will connect you to your own feelings. I know my friends, lovers and girlfriends really helped me survive through all these years of hell.
Maybe something doesn’t work in us anymore, but it still works in other people and we need to connect with it through other people. I think people here should try to be in some kind of relationship. Chi was mentioning he was with a girl with low sex drive while he had PFS. Obviously, you might need to lower your expectations when you are half functional sexually, but you can still have meaningful relationships and you should not consider it as something that will come only after your recovery. My belief is that it might actually help you to recover or at least give some meaning to your life.
i think after 4 years, there is no pfs left on me. normal guys has more struglling than me with out pfs. so it can be related to your own physical appereance or smth different mantally.
bodybuilders use this shit and they are perfectly healthy on sexual for example.
so workout. there will be no problem.
Sanane if you think you don’t have PFS, why are you on this forum?
I would say that being in a relationship has saved my life. I met a girl in November and as the dating process started I was hesitant to tell her about PFS. When I finally told her, she was so relieved! She told me “I didn’t seem that into sex and it seemed really weird.” Now that she knows we have reached an understanding of how sex works. We probably have sex once or twice a month - in a good month - but we do cuddle a lot more, and spend time laughing and enjoying our time together. My girlfriend has a fairly low lidido for a girl - so I don’t think this would work if she was a horny girl, but it works for her. Plus, I go down on her quite often without any reciprocation.
Good luck - but I definitely think it will help take your mind of the worst parts of PFS - which for me were the crushing loneliness and isolation.
i want to say that pfs is not affectimg you after several years. It wont last until you die. After 1 year i can get erections random,mprning wood, good libido and nprmal t levels back without any med. I didnt use inhibitor meds like these guys used to recover like clomid arimidex etc etc herbs drugs
dont worry. We will be fine. Just wait. Exercise.
but its related to your past. If you were atlethic before and young, recovery is possible.
i dont want you to stress yourselves on that, accept and try to live active and sportive. Dobt wait to recover in 6-12 months period after your quit.
pfs lasts long yes about 6 months to rebalance your body its own. This is pfs. Keep your thyroid adrenals and t levels with vitamin d in range, just check regularly, and dont forget everybody is diffrent, normal ppl without pfs can be less healthier then us.
and think that if i take 3000 people for a medical check, setup a forum, i could find lots of mental fhysical sexual disorders etc. But i know in our case is little mixed, it takes time to recover but its not permanent.
lastly if you have recovered %100 you can feel suspicious on that if you come here again. There is no end. So keep calm.
Because you don’t ban him?
Sanane- what were your T levels when you quit, and your T levels now?
There are many points you make above that are out of line. There is a warning from the manufacturer warning about PERSISTENT loss of erections on the drug’s label. Persistent finasteride side effects are by nature, persistent.
If nobody had persistent sides, none of us would be here, there wouldn’t be lawsuits against the manufacturer, research studies trying to figure out why side effects persist, media coverage and articles on the topic, and related discussions about this problem.
Since you do not believe PFS is a chronic problem, perhaps you never experienced persistent side effects from the drug in the first place. In either case, I find your statements misleading and certainly misinformed considering the above.,
Yes, hopefully over time men will experience improvements in their condition – but making definitive statements as you have, is simply speculation.
Agree with Mew above, there is definitely a permanent issue here with this drug, the Swiss and Italian study results prove it with startling hormonal differences compared with the control group. Trying to deny such in the face of obvious scientific evidence is idiocy and ignorance, such comments are ludicrous and misleading to some of the less informed posters here.
In regards to the OP, I have had a few relationships since crashing and am in one currently, cialis helps some but the sex drive issue and lack of sensitivity is the main problem. A side benefit is if I am with a woman who likes to go at it for a long time I can usually last no problem… because I don’t feel shit! I have to focus extremely hard to finish. An example would be a few weeks ago I went 4 times in a night, she got off 4 times, me twice and I consider that good for me because sometimes I can’t even finish… frustrating to be going for awhile, having an erection but not able to finish… because mentally I am not really super turned on but the cialis is keeping me hard.
A bigger problem for me is the lackadaisical attitude toward everything that PFS has instilled in me of course there are many negative aspects to our society that only reinforce this.
my levels about 540 now checked yesterday. i dont know when i quit but has changed too much. but i believe its stable @(500-600) last 2 years.
(without any drug to recover).
mew - i dont want to speculate, but after years, things nearly same i guess (at least in my experience)
He said he had pfs but recover almost from all the symptoms after 4 years.
It is just liitle hard to understand him because his english