Hi! Out of respect to this forum and everyone on it, I want to be up front in saying that I am female and not directly impacted by PFS. I found this site while I was looking for information on Depersonalization Disorder on Youtube. One commenter on a video said that he got DP from post-finasteride-syndrome and in looking that up it led me here. I had no intention of learning about PFS outside of it’s relation to DP, but still I have spent quite a few days lurking and reading the stories of you strong men.
I was hesitant to post because I did not want to in any way infringe on this community, but ultimately I decided that it was important to speak from my heart: I am deeply saddened that so many of you are suffering without the support of your families and doctors. I have had my own physical and mental problems and while I was able to find answers there were times when I was mocked, dismissed, laughed at, and, yes, told “it was all in my head.” That is one reason why I feel so strongly and had to post something. I would never say to a man with PFS that I know just how he feels (I couldn’t) but I can empathize through my own experiences and tell you that you are not alone.
To those of you who feel that you can never find love because of your symptoms, that is simply not true. I don’t care if it’s impotence, brainfog, emotional bluntness or Peyronie’s; there are compassionate and understanding women out there. I am proof. The minute you believe you can have someone, is the very minute you’ve moved closer to finding that person. I do understand that some of you may not want companionship because of your condition. I’ve seen it stated many times that you’d rather be alone and push people away. I know this all too well myself and cannot judge. I just urge you to reconsider this position. We all have our own way of dealing with things, but sometimes our way is more hurtful and damaging than the way that we don’t want to try.
To those of you who at times feel suicidal, my deepest and warmest thoughts go to you. As I see it, you are warriors and every day that you do not do something so final, you have won. I have been suicidal and I know firsthand how bleak and scary it is. Please know that you are strong. Even during your darkest days you are strong. There are parts of you that are fighting even when you feel you have no fight left. I truly believe this because it was true for me.
I wish I could help more outside of just this post. I did sign my name on MoveOn.org and I contacted the pfsfoundation with questions on how I could help. I plan to make a donation as soon as I am able. If anyone has any further ideas on how I could show my support please let me know. My interest may seem strange seeing as how I don’t even know anyone with this condition, but I can’t really unlearn the things I have read here. All the talks of suicide and talks of doctors not helping and saying you should see a psychiatrist, talks of divorces and losing careers, talks of lives feeling as though they have been ruined, story after story of men in their 20s/30s feeling like they’ve aged 40 years. Unacceptable. I am just one girl, but I hope that this post helps someone feel not so alone and hopeless. My heart goes out to all of you and your families. I wish you all the very best.
Here is the link to the Depersonalization Disorder video I watched with the comment that led me here. [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBtQU2GpzeI[/youtube] Also, the man speaking in the video is very inspirational if you at all need some words of encouragement. He is on testosterone replacement therapy for his DP and some PFS suffers may very well share some common ground with him. Much love to you all and thank you for reading this far.
Green
