I have a whole lot of other problems. I don’t think I’ll be able to make new friends.
I don’t feel like doint it, and anyway I’m such a empty body it would be very difficult.
Can you believe it? Not even 24 months ago my friends described my humorism as “a gift for everybody around you”.
I miss myself so much.
Another confirmation that stress, in my case, has a major role in this stupid fucking condition.
Today I had problem sleeping, cognitively I’m very low, erections are softer.
Jesus Christ, prior to PFS my stress tolerance was so strong not even being kidnapped could leave me like this.
I relate to all that. I had a massive circle of friends I was sought out by people. I was the entertainer. I miss being around people so much yet I can’t be around anyone. It feels uncomfortable I don’t connect on any front. Everyone I knew feels like stranger. I put on an act and get annoyed by discussions I once generated. It’s crippling!!! A disease that hits you so hard and takes everything. Something like this could only be man made. You still have time to recover try to hang in to that. We all need a glimmer of light/hope.
Thank you guys. I’ll carry on.
@TFD @maxim117 Hanging in bed with fatigue ist like Opium, a poisn that makes us weaker and weaker. I have been hanging in bed for three months too now.
But I try to get off for a few hours every day. Make a little walk or a little swim in our lake when sun shines.
Even @LazarusRy beaten longer and by more siteeffects than most of us Stands up and goes outside the House.
Bedbound, muscles get weak, muscles get lost, armes and legs get cold and numbness, the last bit of health and last remaining drive get lost. (And pfs head TV starts up with the suicidal dreaming chanel, someone visits me with a pistol…in my old live I Had only sexuall head TV, what a Shit)
Positive
I had some sort of “empy” spot in my mustache which filled in, and same thing with my beard. If I had to take a guess it’s still probably a little different maybe, but it’s much much better than 1 year ago and totally normal looking.
Eyebrows and beard had gotten very, very dry last year. It’s now much, much better.
Negative
This is where the CD protocol has been helpful for me . If you have set things you do every day even if it’s all health stuff to try to beat this your mind stays occupied .
Stay in bed for 10 hrs as long as your at least getting in and out sleep a majority of the time
Get up take a cold shower
Eating a paleo based diet takes time because you are always cooking chicken, steak or fish . This to me feel time consuming
Have a set work out time. Being too tired is just an excuse . You can work out regardless of how tired you are . As you go you gain energy
Read these forums unless it’s making things worse for you . It’s info and takes up time . I know some people are bothered by being on these forums. I’m not personally. Info helps
Don’t worry about friendship or relationships. With out a proper sex life it’s not possible. Of course it’s going to negatively impact everything including things with family . At the end of the day it’s not your fault . So let it go and don’t feel guilty about it . True friends and family will always be around to at least some extent regardless of your situation and if they are not around at all then just say screw em and never look back .
For the first time in over a year, today I’ve done 20 minutes of stretching, mostly focusing on the legs. I feel that my erections now are a little weaker, and the connection with my genitalia during masturbation has diminished a little.
Maybe it’s a case, but what the fuck.
I would stick with it . Staying active especially when you are constantly stressed over this is important. It will likely in the long run do more good then harm
One day of noticing decease in sexual side baseline is not enough to know if being active is making it worse . Things are going to fluctuate.
I also want to try intermittent fasting. @MOONCHILD said it helped him so much. Let’s see what I can do.
Fingers crossed.
Nice
Not a bad idea to try it
My psychologist won’t believe a single thing I say to her.
Not one.
You don’t have any sexual dysfunction, you are just scared of having sex;
You CAN work, you don’t have any cognitive impairment, you’re just scared of earning enough to be able to move out from your parents’ home;
You CAN enjoy people and experiences, is just that you are focused on negative things.
All in all, she believes I’m “afraid of becoming an adult”, and I tend to be paranoid. She wants me to go on drugs, I said no.
On the positive side: morning erections tend now to last longer. They don’t disappear as soon as I open my eyes.
Negative
I just came back from a 40 minutes fast walking. It feels like I have freaking sand in my legs. They’re so heavy. My whole body feels like carrying a heavy weight.
I now weight around 88kg. I have no reason to believe this is related to PFS, afterall my weight fluctuated a lot in the past 4-5 years, and even with PFS i managed to get from 96 to 81 just adjusting my diet. I was probably wrong when I wrote my weight in my member story post. Anyway, I’ll try to get back to 84 kg this month. I’ve spent the past 5 months laying in my bed and eating, so it could be related to this
I spend way too much time at home and on this forum.
Positive
Morning erection today was good (not full) and lasted like 20 minutes after I woke up.
This morning I had a very, very brief moment of increased mental clarity. Still far, far away from normal baseline, but hey. It’s something.
Despite being kind of a struggle and very, very boring, 40 minutes of fast walk and a shower make e feel better.
I don’t know if this is a coincidence. Yesterday I’ve done a couple of things I had not done in a long time (mild exercise and sunbathing), and today I’m not feeling that good.
I woke up today after 8 hours of good sleep, feeling I could have slept another 8. I got out of bed and my head felt kind of dizzy for a while. I usually feel better.
I know both of those things are supposed to raise T.
Go figure.
EDIT: I’ve just realized that, for the first time in over one year, my scrotum looks normal. Skin got back to its normal, pink color, where before was clearly darker. PFS aggravated my varicocele 100%, but again it’s looking normal (skin-wise at least) for the first time in probably 18 months.
Italy’s just won the European Soccer Championship.
Streets are filled with people screaming and laughing, dancing and smiling, celebrating the victory.
I got out of home and threw myself into the mess. You know, for the fun of it.
And I couldn’t feel anything.
Thanks, PFS.
Tomorrow I’ll try to sunbathe again. If this lead me to another terrible hungover, that would be bad news.
Nothing positive to report today.
Out of your comments, it really sounds like you’re just depressed. Try not to focus on PFS, it keeps your depression in loop.
Having morning erections, and the erection disappearing once you open your eyes is a sign of bad mental health (such as anxiety and depression). When you open your eyes, your body becomes aware of the terrible reality, sourcing from whatever.
I’ve been where you are, and you have to push yourself into your social life again. It’s very hard in the beginning, and you will catch yourself in the midst of the social situation not enjoying any of it. But slowly it will all return in some months. Go out there, find a reason to live again. Had any interests/hobbies before this hit you? Try again… No one here can help you other than giving encouragement.
Oh, I was depressed even before PFS.
It has now gotten twice as bad.
Plenty, but none that I can really enjoy at this point in time.
I’m doing my best, but I lack the positive feedbacks that would keep me going.
Again, I am depressed and there’s no denying it, but a lot of people here report the same.