At the advice of you guys here I’ll be logging off for a month at least to see where I’m at and allow myself sometime to take my mind of PFS. I was in a really shitty mood today and took it out on people who obviously didn’t deserve it. Apologies to anyone I wrote shitty stuff to today.
I’m going to see how I feel in a month and then post back an update. Hopefully you guys continue to do well, you’ve been a blessing through this. Had this website not existed I’d be absolutely mindfucked with zero help or advice then I’d have a mysterious illness which I’d know nothing about.
I’m grateful for you all, I love you guys to bits for the work the staff put in and the support members provide. You’re doing gods work. I’m gonna see a doctor tomorrow about my eyes and hopefully its nothing serious likely just high blood pressure from drugs.
After a shot of test my joints began to stop being so fucked so maybe just maybe I dont have post aromatase thingy. That would make me very happy.
God speed brothers, I promise to return sometime February. Hopefully everyone remains well and lets not forget the tragedy that was @AnhedonicApe RIP, I had only exchanged few messages with him but it still hit me like a ton of bricks the position he was put in just shows the importance of what you guys both as staff and members do here.
One day we will be able to laugh in the faces of everyone who doubted our PFS and they’ll have to take us seriously. I also received massive support from my friends over at a private steroids subreddit im active on and it made me think shit I can’t believe this many people care. Good 8 or so big paragraph messages of people very concerned for me and offering a hand. Since the people invited to the sub are the most active people on the steroid subreddit well lets just say opinions about Fin might change over there. It’ll likely be discouraged simply because I made a post about how everything was going down. These are the members people go to for the top advice, I’m hoping that someday Fin isn’t seen as anything but more than poison.
You people do not deserve my absolute negativity in the light of this, I’ve always been that way ‘uber-negative’ about any bad situation, but we’re all suffering and we all need to be gracious and love each other. Hopefully I can come back with a very happy update that things improved a bit, I’m sure I will.
Once again, thanks to everyone who reached out to me during this difficult time. You have beautiful souls even if PFS has fucked our bodies. On the plus side, I still sat 3 law exams and I think I did alright in two and smashed the other when last week I thought I was 100% gonna fail university.
Boys if I become a solicitor/barrister first thing I’m doing is suing Merck for as many people as I can, by the time I do that hopefully theres already proof of PFS that can be induced in the body by Fin. That will open the door to a lot of legislative action.
I feel i’ve been to ungrateful to people just trying to help, I admit I became extremely bitter. I didn’t even give myself a chance to get better, its probable that my joints/tendons will return to normal strength (since the TRT shot literally the day later must’ve spiked my estrogen and made things not ‘as bad’ they still click but I can see tendons in my wrists again and theyre not burning just some minor joint pain easily could be low e2). Hopefully also no permanent blindness is going to happen to me due to lack of DHT in my eye or some shit lol, physician says retina damage induced by drugs will heal eventually. This is likely temporary strain from high BP from literally smoking crystal lol
I wont lie, I’ll still be running stupid protocols to look for treatments (Proviron/Mast) but at least I feel that with vision and the ability to go the gym I can live through PFS and stick around. I was just terrified my joints/tendons would stop me from going to the gym and I entered a very dark place this morning.
Hopefully we can all catch up when I’m back, but until then. Go watch some anime you weebless fools are missing out on the greatest art of our time!
See you in Feb everyone.