Story of an 18 year old kid

Member Stories
#1

Welcome to our community. Please fill in the following template as a way of introducing yourself, and helping others to understand your background and situation.

Where are you from (country)?

The Netherlands

How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)

Reddit r/finasteridesyndrome

What is your current age, height, weight?
18, 5’7", ±143 lbs

What specific drug did you use (finasteride, dutasteride, saw palmetto, isotretinoin/Accutane, fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, leuprorelin, etc…)?
Accutane + Zoloft

What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?
Accutane: 10 mg everyday for 5 months
SSRI: Idk anymore but it was a starting dose

What condition was being treated with the drug?
Acne and depression

For how long did you take the drug (weeks/months/years)?
Accutane: 5 months
SSRI: 2 weeks

How old were you, and WHEN (date) did you start the drug?
Accutane: 15 years
SSRI: 17

How old were you when you quit, and WHEN (date) did you quit?
Accutane: 16
SSRI: 18

How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?
Cold turkey

How long into your usage did you notice the onset of side effects?
During

What side effects did you experience that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?

See story below

Check the boxes that apply. You can save your post first, then interactively check/uncheck the boxes by clicking on them. If your symptoms change, please update your list.

Sexual
[X] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence
[ x] Loss of Morning Erections
[x ] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[x ] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[ ] Watery Ejaculate
[x ] Reduced Ejaculate
[ x] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[x ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[ x] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[ x] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[ x] Confusion
[ x] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
[x ] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[ ] Slurring of Speech
[x ] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[x ] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[ x] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[x ] Suicidal Thoughts

Physical
[ ] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[ ] Testicular Pain
[ ] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[x ] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[x ] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[x ] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[ ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[x ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[x ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[x ] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
[x ] Hearing loss
[ x] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature

[ ] Other (please explain)

What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?
Dietary changes

If you have pre or post-drug blood tests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (please post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?

Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience?

Tell us your story, in your own words, about your usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.

Hi,
I’m a 18 year old boy who got destroyed by all kinds of ‘medicines’ and here’s my story. First we go back to when i was 14/15.

I suddenly got severe acne, it ran in my family so i knew it wouldn’t go away at it’s own. (after all i was a sugar/junk food addict + fapping everyday). However, i went to a doctor with my lovely mom and that doctor prescribed me Accutane, a wonder drug. Within 5 months i was totally acne free and i didn’t even had side effects (most weird thing ever), like ZERO side effects.

Fast forward a year later. I met a beautiful girl and yeah lol she became my girlfriend. First lockdown began and we started smoking lots of weed, like 1.5-2 gram everyday. The best time of my life i guess. Weed literally made me a better person. Maybe you won’t believe me but my hair became super thick and shiny, my skin was shining and tanning and my face just looked very alive back then.

3 months of smoking the magical plant everyday got me fucked up. 2 weeks after quitting i suddenly developed floaters, light sensitivity, tinnitus, visual snow and the worst of 'em all mental problems. I basically fried my receptors by smoking weed and using MDMA.

That was in June 2020 and life was never the same since then. I became a kinda boring, anxious, always crying person so me and my girlfriend decided to break up in January 2021. She had all the right to leave me cuz i just wasn’t fun anymore. UGH. Thereby, my gf and i were always having a fight cause i became a really toxic person. After all the medicines i took, losing my girlfriend is one of my biggest regrets but after all it just adds up the staple of my shitty, fucked up life
Still depressed 'n shit so the doctor prescribed me Zoloft, an SSRI. Took it for 2 weeks and since then? Nothing, just pure quiet. 1 black void.

  • Hair became dry, changed texture and lost volume. The opposite of what my hair looked like when i was smoking weed.
  • Itchy genitals, i’ve always had itchy genitals but since the SSRI it became so, SO bad.
  • Emotionally very, very numb. Haven’t cried in 7 months. Of course i laugh sometimes but it just feels so fucking fake.
  • Visual snow syndrome got worse.
  • DP/DR
  • Lost all muscle power, not mass
  • Voice became a bit weird
  • Easily sunburned

Last year before the SSRI, i tried NoFap for 2 weeks. It made me feel so good but felt shit after 2 weeks (flatline) so i just started to have a wank again couple times a week. But if i do NoFap these days it just makes me feel so fucking shit IMMEDIATELY. So i was lurking on Reddit and saw a post about a guy swearing he cured his muscle weakness and his depression after doing the opposite of NoFap: fapping 4 times a day. So i tried it, and believe it or not, i felt normal for the first time in months. I kid you not, it was such a great relieve. However i felt it made my eye floaters worse. Even if it didn’t, my paranoia-mind says it does. So i stopped.

2 Months of researching and i found out i have Candida and i found a link between this horibble disease and gut problems. So i started the Carnivore diet 3 weeks ago. I think i made it worse since then. I’m a carb and sugar addict and just one day i decided to do beef, salt and water only + intense exercise. The candida die-off was so bad it made me even worse. After 2,5 weeks on this diet i suddenly had bad brain fog so i stopped the diet out of anxiety. I think the carnivore diet is the way to go but you have to transition slowly cause since last week i have these symptoms

  • Lost arm hair
  • Jawline became less manly and pointy if you know what i mean
  • ZERO libido
  • Almost zero ejaculate and its kinda watery
  • Brain fog, unable to REALLY focus 'n concentrate. Catching yourself staring at nothing for a minute like 50 times a day

So here i am, having severe Visual Snow Syndrome, fried serotoning and dopamine receptors from drugs AND PFS while i lost 99% of my friends and they’re having school/earning money. No-one gives a shit about me cause i became boring. I’m bedridden and even more hopeless.Now theres no way out of this except Last saturday when i quit the diet i suddenly cried for 5 minutes so fucking loud, so i know i’m onto something with going carnivore. I hadn’t cried for 7 months or so.

Btw i dont feel anything anymore from weed and alcohol

thx for reading if you came this far, after all i’m just another victim with his own unique story

3 Likes
#2

Stories like this, with affected childs really hurt. 18 years and bedridden, I wish you the strength to go out there and try to life your young live. On the other hand I know fatigue and hanging in bed till midday too.

1 Like
#3

Hi @Veron

I’m sorry to read about your story, and thanks for creating a member story. I was only 22 when I developed PFS, so I understand the sorrow one can experience seeing others moving forward in life while I feel like I’m stuck. If you’d ever like to talk over the phone please send me a PM.

Also, once you’ve been off the drug for 3 months or more, please follow the instructions for new members here: New user? START HERE including completing the patient survey and reporting your symptoms to your regulator. This is incredibly important, as regulatory reporting is how we improve clinical awareness and ultimately get more researchers interested in what’s going on.

Please take care of yourself, and let me know if you’d ever like to chat.
Mitch.

1 Like
#4

I’m going more and more bedridden too. It’s not only the fatigue. It’s a kind of protest against my own live, for taking that pills. The huge and final mistake if my live.

#5

I understand that you have been hit very hard by your situation, but is that really how you want to be remembered?
As a guy who just gave up? That’s not very admirable, my man. Yours could be a story of success, the story of a man who conquered life despite all the adversities.
Don’t know what side effects you have and how much they have affected your life, but I implore you to stop crying and start living off life again, even if worse than before, a shitty life is still better than no life whatsoever. Not to mention that you are neither improving your life, or helping others to get better. You could be a source of inspiration rather than a subject of pitty.
Life is not over just yet, even if you wanted it to be over just because you don’t like what it has become.

1 Like
#6

That respect is reserved for amputees and the blind. Nobody is ever going to be impressed that a guy who took finasteride got his bony ass off the couch and went to the store no matter how tired we look.

1 Like
#7

Yeah, I was just being polite really, I think we both agree that his reaction to his symptoms is not very reasonable/justified, but nontheless, sometimes the biggest battle is within our own mind, I know it must be a big change in living, and change is always troublesome.
Also, maybe other people won’t be impressed at the fact that he goes out and continues with his life, but it may inspire other PFS sufferers who are going through a lot of issues with it, that was my point, he’s not being a positive influence to anyone here, not even to himself, and therefore not helping at all.

2 Likes
#9

Using this down qualifying and arrogant words it is an unfair attack. You are new here, only some weeks and directly attack someone very personally.

If doctors hear about pfs they check this site, because patient stories are more informative than every theoretical knowledge.

They and the regulatory agencies should see what they done to me and all the other victims.

For all the other young victims here are so many hopeful fighters, treatment protocols and success stories, that if you want you can read them all. You don’t have to search for the story of a pitty old man, who suffers really.

I stayed in the psychiatric ward because of suicidally.

Better is to support all the ones who suffer with friendly words. You can be the success story for them.

After all I just wanted to tell the suspended owner of this topic: “Hey poor boy you are not alone with your ugly bedridden state”

1 Like
#11

I told the doctor in the emergency that I have the post finasteride syndrome. She really knew it from her studies about treatment of sexual criminals. This drug was discussed for chemical castration of criminals, but never used because of inhumanity! For profit of pharma war machine it’s human to give this fucking poison to young men and best ager guys like me and gaslight us with a slight leaflet and manipulated facts. There is no clear advice of long lasting side effects. They only say after quitting ED can hold on, not persistent ED for years in rare cases.

So the psychiatric doctors accepted that I won’t be set under SSRIs, Mirtazapin and all the other potential dangerous drugs.

The only antidepressant I got was Bupoprion. But I was never forced to take it. I told them of pssd too. But SSRIs are the butter and bread of a psychiatric hospital.

I know a young woman destroyed by Citalopram, a young man really killed by Trazodone, @Trazohell killed himself and I know a young man very well lobotomized by Mirtazapin. And than my bed neighbor is on Mirtazapin and Citalopram is a basic and absolutely “safe” and proven treatment. I think in every psychiatric hospital.

2 Likes
#12

Let’s not point at others and say that their reaction is unrealistic or unjustified or whatever words you used to judge them. It’s not really your place to decide who is justified in their emotional state and who isn’t.

This forum’s purpose is among others a place for support and an outlet for our experiences. If someone wants to express themselves. Let them.

Everyone with PFS/PAS/PSSD or anything like it should know that it’s not fun to live with, regardless of severity. It’s unnecessary to decide who is a crybaby and who isn’t or who has it the worst and who doesn’t. We don’t always have to agree with how people describe their situation or how we feel we should deal with it.

I don’t think you wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings but it’s hard enough for everyone as is, let’s not make it worse by telling people who express their feelings that they’re bringing everybody down or something along those lines.

2 Likes
#14

First thing, like all, I never ever wanted to be here. I’m so self pitty because I have had the most insane story to get on the pills as a human paper basket for a pharma muster package who stored this garbage for a insane hypothetical case of the end of a relationship instead to throw it away. And forbid himself to check the package until a very emotional stresst moment.

70 % of the day I think about how could you be so overwhelmed by such psychopathic thoughts over a woman I really loved.

The urologist is dead, he died on COVID. Otherwise I maybe would not be a witness, I would be the …

I don’t want to profile me here. It’s just the last resort of the entire world I’m connected with.

That’s the thing. I’m interested in nothing anymore. Sun is shining a nice spring time. I hate it, because I only want dark cold and rainy days anymore and no one out in the gardens, cafes, nature anywhere.

I loved so much riding with my bicycle, sometimes with my ex girlfriend, I loved to meet women before, I loved to be on a walk, outside in a cafe, the summer in a lake with the child’s, I have been busy all the day. I dreamt of a 48 h day, so full of energy I’ve been all my live. Even after depressed periods I was full of energy afterwards.

Now I sit lobotomized and castrated in my chair and I’m really to old to arrange myself with this new situation.

#15

Dude needs to vent, I don’t have a problem with that. The only thing unreasonable here is PFS…guaranteed to drive a grown man mad.

3 Likes
#16

Here are some other frequent posters, who report their daily briefing of old and new symptoms. It helps to talk about it, not to be alone with all that shit.

It’s s 50+ connection here, discussing what happens to us. Some of us feel very lonely because we have no family and no partner with us. Only some days our childs.

We have quit our jobs and hang at home all the day. Lonely. For the devil I knew to spent my day, all my life. I have been full of interests and hobbies.

Think the elder ones don’t believe in any treatment anymore. Most of the younger ones discuss and try minimal two new treatments, hormones and protocols a week. They live with their families and go to school, university, high school or work. God gifted me so much more time in a normal life, but in this moment the younger ones can cope better than we elder ones.

I only post my daily frustration on the diary of a pfs sufferer. But very often I get Emails from other victims here who want to talk with me. I’m integrated in different groups.

I know I can’t go on in this way. I’m looking for a community I’m well integrated like a ecological project, a spiritual community a generation project.

Maybe I can report than a life changing happening.

2 Likes