Hi, everyone. I’m a pssdforum member and I’ve decided to register here to take a part in that survey concerning harms of drugs. I’ll copypaste my story from pssdforum:
"July 2018
Hi everyone. I’ve finally decided to post my story here. I almost did it once, but I clicked wrong button and it all got deleted. I had written it then in a quite depictive style, but this time i will keep it simple. I’ve been lurking this forum for a long time and maybe it’s time to become more active member of this community. So, for starters, I’m 20 years old and I live in Poland (so sorry for my English). I suffer on PSSD since beginning of 2017. In September 2016 I visited a psychiatrist because of my depression and lack of will to do anything. He prescribed me Brintellix, but it didn’t work for me - it felt like I was drunk. Then I got venlectine (venlafaxine) and my dosages were up to 225mg per day as I remember. That medication only triggered next problems - insomnia, mood swings etc. and because of that I took opipramol ( to let myself sleep) and only once or twice - buspirone and lamotrigine. SD began almost immediataly after I started taking venlafaxine and therefore I reckon that this drug gave me PSSD. I quit all of it in January/February 2017 by lowering the doses day after day. My decision was based on the fact that during that medication I was unable to have sex because of weak erections and inability to reach orgasm. My doc told me that I should not worry because after I quit it will be all right - well, it wasn’t and still isn’t. So my symptoms are weak erections (my biggest problem), anhedonia, lack of libido and arousal and well known numbness. I reported those problems to my doc and he told me that it’s the first that he heard of something like this. He ordered me to make hormons test (prolactin and testosterone and their levels were in norm). To fight with PSSD I’ve tried trazodone prescribed by the same psychiatrist (no effects) and the famous 18g per day inositol, but after 6 weeks of no improvement I quit it. It only made things worse and my libido and orgasms are even worse. I really regret taking all of those drugs and now I see that 2 years ago I was just a happy man. Now I’m developing real depression because I can’t accept the fact that 20 years old man can’t have normal sexual life and it really affects my relations with other people, especially women. To help me deal with this terrible condition I began to drink quite a lot. A huge part of my life was taken from me and all that things that used to give me joy are no longer interesting. I’m begging for help because I don’t know what to do. I would like to try new supplements or drugs but I have no idea what should I try first. I even don’t know if should I contact some doctors or is it waste of time because they won’t believe me. I’m looking forward to your suggestions, even partial recovery would be a huge step forward. I really believe that one day we will find the cure because it cannot be that complicated. Best wishes for all of you, you are doing a terrific job.
[UPDATE - 15 February 2019]
Because of the large amount of free time I would like to update my story and tell what has happened to me in the last half year, maybe it will be useful to someone, or maybe it will just make me feel better. I spent the holidays at my mother’s house during the break between academic years. I still drank a lot of alcohol, did not follow my diet and did not live too well. The information found here inspired me to do an experiment with buspirone at the end of August. This was my worst decision since I have developed PSSD. I believe that an allergic reaction has occurred or we are just now much more sensitive to some substances for some reason. The dose was only 5mg, and what happened next was pure hell. I took a tablet in the afternoon or in the evening, and at night I woke up with convulsions, tachycardia, a heart trying to jump out of my chest, whole in sweat and full of tremendous fear. The next days and weeks were awful, I could not sleep, on the day I was accompanied by constant anxiety. That’s how I got my next symptom - anxiety. I did blood tests, though I probably did not include the most important hormones, everything was normal except too high cholesterol. This experience has taught me that we must be very careful with experiments, because it is a million times easier to deteriorate this condition than to improve anything. I was rescuing myself with opipramol, which allowed me to fall asleep at all times and several times clonazepam, which I avoided as much as I could knowing what benzodiazepines can do with people. I visited another psychiatrist who again did not believe in the PSSD or what happened after the buspiron experiment. At least she was nicer. Once again, I heard that everything is in my head, so I decided to try to get the help of a sexologist-therapist. Of course, I was not believed again, and the specialist advised me not to masturbate for two weeks and not to watch porn, assess my frame of mind three times a day on a scale of one to ten and meditate. Of course, I quickly resigned from such “professional” help. In the meantime, I came across the famous cd nuts protocol from the pfs community and the whole totalmaleoptimization website. Inspired by the information there, I started taking chlorella, spirulina, vitamin d3, magnesium, maca and bacopa. I even bought so called bathmate (penis pump). Supplementation did nothing and I quit it after several weeks and even bathmate didn’t do anything with my ED. In my country, we have free medical care and that’s why I decided to visit some specialist without paying for the service. I went to GP and got a referral to a urologist. He commissioned such basic blood tests that I only smiled because I knew that the dude had no idea what he was doing. He prescribed me sildenafil on my request but I think it doesn’t work on me. I also bought a gym pass and for some time I have been practicing irregularly and I do a lot of push-ups, even some effects can be seen. I also play football every week. Around the new year, I decided that I would reduce alcohol consumption to a minimum, I would go on a paleo diet. Indeed, I even manage to do it because I drink really little and rarely (I recommend to give up alcohol to everyone here, in my case it increases anxiety and depression significantly, without giving anything in return) Before the new year, I sent my PSSD form to Dr. Healy (EMA) and then described my experience with doctors since I got PSSD at his request. I’ve passed all my college exams lately, so I do not think I’m as dulled as I think. I also made another cd nuts protocol element, i.e. a juice fast. I lasted less than 5 days, but it was worth it, I recommend this experience to everyone, exercise my willpower and definitively cleanses the body. I try to stick to the paleo diet and feel good with it, it seems to help. Recently, anxiety is not as big as it used to be, so I live somehow. I plan to devote a lot more time to the GYM exercises, because it’s probably the most sensible thing to do now.
In conclusion, I will celebrate the second anniversary of PSSD in the coming days. My symptoms are very poor erections, penis shrinkage,soft glans, weak orgasm, numbness, zero nocturnal erections and morning wood, anxiety, mood disorders, inability to feel certain emotions, depersonalization, slight tinnitus, sweating of hands and feel and the whole zombified-feeling. I hope you keep up somehow. Also, I was one of those who have been disappointed in all this story with bethanechol. However, I am very excited about forum activity in recent weeks and I have really started to believe that this condition can be reversed. I wish you all an infinite amount of faith, motivation and perseverance!"
Sexual
[ x] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X ] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence
[X ] Loss of Morning Erections
[ x] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[X ] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[ ] Watery Ejaculate
[ ] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility
Mental
[X ] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[ ] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[ x] Confusion
[X ] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
[X ] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[ ] Slurring of Speech
[X ] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[X ] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[X ] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[X ] Suicidal Thoughts
Physical
[ x] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[ ] Testicular Pain
[ ] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[ x] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[X ] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[ ] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes
Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[ ] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[ ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[ ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[X ] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
[ ] Hearing loss
[ ] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature