Side effects change every day? Is this good?

General Discussion
#1

Does anyone else seem to have different effects every day?

Pretty much every day ill wake up wondering either what type of hell i’ll be experiencing or if today will be a good day. I really wish my symptoms were consistent, Its extremely hard to know what I can and can’t handle throughout the day. Some days I regret quitting my job as I feel like the depersonalization/disassociation/anxiety/depression is manageable but other days I am glad I quite as there would be no way I could have handled it at the minute. These are much rarer but other days I will feel much better mentally and I have the strength and insight to recognize that I will get through this and that the mental symptoms will more than likely fade with time along with depression being much better. but other days I am either severely depressed to the point where I just need to drive to prevent my self from going home and killing my self, disassociated to the point where I just need to drive and ride out the episode, or just having a straight panic attack. I can not tell if these fluctuations are good since it could mean my body is still working things out (Im about 4 months + a week into this), or if it means I am just utterly fucked. other symptoms that come and go are muscle twitches, seeing weird blobs in my vision/heavy floaters and snow (think I could be hallucinating as I see weird outlines on objects along with the color blobs), and low sexual function (I will add that my sexual functions have been gradually improving with only minor setbacks). my symptoms were pretty consistent from months 1-3 with mostly just major panic attacks and dissociation along with mild depression, but 1/2 way through month 3 I had a massive panic attack and have been in limbo ever since.

This shit fucking sucks. I am 18 away at university, have decided to quite my job I love and will be dropping out of uni to go to a local community college till I feel stable. I feel like the best years of my life have just be robbed. What makes me ever more frustrated is my doc prescribed this shit to me when I was 17 and KNEW about PFS as she ran blood work after I developed sides. I use to consider my self very strong mentally but this stuff has completely ruined me, I can hardly function and feel like I am actually fucking retarded from the brain fog. I am a business major (usually easy) and I can hardly comprehend the work I have to do.

Does anyone have any idea if these weird fluctuations are a good or bad thing? any input helps a ton

2 Likes
#2

I can’t say for sure, nobody can, but I can say that my symptoms aren’t as bad as they were and have been fluctuating most of the time.

I would say that fluctuation is probably a good thing and hopefully with each fluctuation things get a little better.

1 Like
#3

My experience aligns with what Greek said.

In the first 8 months or so I had pretty strong fluctuations in severity and occurrence of different symptoms. Afterwards things seemed to have settled at a better baseline and while I still have fluctuations in severity of my remaining symptoms, it’s a bit less bad than it used to be. Whether that is part of some lengthy recovery process after more than two years, I can only hope.

I find it awful to hear that your doctor decided to prescribe you the drug when aware of the condition. I understand that a doctor basically just wants to help, but all too often it seems they go ahead and think they can predict or prevent such a thing from happening by doing some bloodwork and making assumptions about how rare the occurrence is or who is or isn’t susceptible, when there is simply no data to base such decisions on. Let’s just hope that we figure this thing out sooner or later, so that it doesn’t happen again and that we may be able to get some justice via legal means.

3 Likes