Severe Depression and anxiety

anxiety
depression
#1

Hi friends. I quit Finasteride 3 months ago. that time i had almost all symptoms. at the same time i had breakup with my love of my life.now i 'm extremely depressed and having suicidal thoughts. I feel unsafe and the color of life is dark I and always think of her as she is god for me.in these three months I’ve been through so much.I can’t stop thinking about her.
now I can’t say the reason of my depression.its related to Finasteride or it’s just for my love which have left me. and what can I do? I can’t live like this.I prefer to die.is this feeling go away?

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#2

As with any breakup, it’s common to think about a former partner and miss the security and warmth of the relationship.

It’s possible that your feelings are completely in line with that experience.

It’s also possible that your depression is influenced by cessation of finasteride.

It would be my recommendation that you do whatever you can to move on from your relationship, don’t wallow in thoughts. Almost all relationships come to an end. Everyone who finds “the one” normally meets a number of people who weren’t first.

In terms of your depression possibly being a PFS symptom, you have to ride it out. The vast majority of people get better with time and while 3 months feels like a long time to you at the moment, it isn’t so long for a recovery period. Hang in there.

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#3

Thnaks Greek.yes i think both of them affects me.I really appreciated for your recommendation.i have tried.but i dont know why i feel so depressed.even once i really decided to commit sucide.i mean i feel my life is over. I have never been like this.every day is like hell for me.psychology prescribed me asentra pill and other drugs which made me a litter better but they made my pfs worse.sadly she didn’t know about pfs.so i cut out the drugs.i need drugs since i can’t control my suicidal thoughts and because i m really suffering and on the other hand i’m afraid of pfs.i don’t know what to do. any suggestion!

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#4

I don’t have any experience with anti depressants and PFS but plenty has been written about them here. I do know that SSRI anti depressants should be avoided.

I would suggest you do some searches and ask some people what their experiences are. If you can get some consensus, you might be able to ask your doctor if one of the anti depressants which is well tolerated here would be suitable for you.

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#5

Hi Snow47, I’m sorry your feeling very low at the moment. I’ve been in dark places mentally myself and things can improve even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
I took a non SSRI anti depressant called Moclebemide. In my opinion and through research on the web, the side affects are relatively low on this particular anti depressant. Like anything though I’d do some research about it, a lot of doctors don’t want to prescribe it as it’s on old drug and they always want to give out SSRI’S. I took Moclebemide for around 15 months, and it helped.

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#6

I take Wellbutrin. May be helping a bit, but thought control is much more important IMO:

-Meditation
-Springing out of bed to go to gym
-Cold showers. Cold showers are magical because you feel relief when it’s over. I almost always leave with a smile and feel good after

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#7

Hi Ukguy82. thank you for your suggestion.yes. I really can’t see any hope. everywhere is dark and and i have pain in my heart. I wish i could be off from this dark life for a while or maybe forever. I don’t want to do any stupid action. but I’m really exhausted. thank you.

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#8

thanks so much for your advice.I completely agree thought control is really important. But after she left everything seems dark. and some thoughts destroy me and lead to heart pain.

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#9

I don’t think anyone is going to be able to intervene there. You need to stop yourself when that starts. More thought control.

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#10

Hi @Snow47, I am sorry you feel this way. It is not uncommon here for guys to be hit by PFS and lose their partner at the same time. The former often follows the latter. Your depression is most likely due to both factors, as both are big losses that you are experiencing and they have an additive effect on depression. Each of these factors has to be addressed separately.

First, the loss of your partner: I know how difficult it is but think about the billions upon billions of people in history who lost the love of their life for one reason or another. You feel that no other person can ever replace the one you lost or be as good as them, and that you will never fall in love again. This is a normal feeling but it is an illusion of the mind due to the mammalian pair bonding phenomenon. There are literary millions of other people out there who are probably better for you than the one you lost. You just have to let go of your loss and go out and find someone else. This will take a while but it is entirely possible to be done. People do it all the time - literally billions of times.

The second problem, PFS, although you may perceive it as secondary at the moment, is much harder to tackle in my opinion. While breakup is acute and hurts more in the moment, it has a simple and complete solution. PFS on the other hand doesn’t have a simple and complete solution and is for the long haul, although you will adjust to it with time. You may be lucky however and be one of the people who improves in the first year after stopping finasteride. It is still too early to tell how badly you are affected. You need to be patient and give yourself time. In the meantime, keep up hope!

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#11

Thank you man.really thanks.thanks all of you.wonderful words from wonderful people.as you said i don’t know why i can’t stop thinking about her.why do i think she was the one.i know this forum is not a depression forums and i don’t want to talk and bother you.i know how hard is pfs.but for me right now the first is so much biger problem and seems unsolvable. This is so big that i completely forgot about pfs. I don’t test my asexual life or think about life style.i just want peace what i really missed.and that girl is like a god. I hope one night i can find death.my heart is going to stop.i felt that.
thank you man.i wish all of you to find health.you deserve better.sorry for bad english.

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#12

Snow we have a section for coping but you are free to talk about depression anywhere. Many of us have dealt with this disease you are not alone. The hardest thing with depression is to reach out and ask for help. You are living with depression but from what you have explained you do not understand how to deal with the depression when everything feels dark. You need to speak to a therapist who can help you understand your depression and giving you the coping mechanisms so when you become depressed you know who to deal with it. Instead you are just letting the depression do what it wants which is to make you feel sad and miss your girlfriend. You have lost many things with depression so it’s natural to want your girlfriend as you have emptiness in your life from loss. You might need therapy for dealing with loss. Dealing with loss is important and many people here don’t get therapy for it, they just carry on and the loss remains in their mind. A psychiatrist will explain the importance of dealing with loss better than me.

You should look at CBT for depression and start using those methods. Meditate every day for 20mins in the morning and 20mins at night. Also cold showers can help you with depression. But you must see a therapist. Also find the telephone number of a suicide helpline and if you are struggling just call that number. Writing down on a piece of paper that you can ring a suicide helpline if you feel like killing yourself. The mind or your inner voice is capable of telling you not to ring the suicide helpline just remember that so having it in writing of paper may save your life. Please see the post I did on inner voice and read it. Our greatest enemy can be our own mind telling us negative thoughts which we think are real.

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#13

I think talking about them cause they think you are nagging.I am not nagging. I am suffering. everything has changed.my work, my sleep, my appetite, my view.
I know my own mind telling me negative thoughts but I can’t control them and they really seems real. for example “there is no running way, why are you struggling?!!!”. this sentence seems so real to me. I’ve tried many methods but at the end I’m suffering as the first day.I don’t know what is real, what is false anymore.each 24 hours is full of anxiety, stress and depression for me.
It seems no one can help.they are right. they can’t understand me. I am alone in this path.I wish I could find peace again. I wish love doesn’t exist and I wish I would be brave enough to finish this miserable life at one moment and find peace again.

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#14

Are you still able to work? It seems that the neurological aspect of PFS can make us less able to deal with stress. There’s likely a lot more to it than that and I’m simply making an assumption. However you might try methods to reduce stress and see if that helps. Write down the negative thoughts that belong to the other you. Now write down your own thoughts and compare. Identify you have two sets of thoughts and the negative comes from your own insecurities. Who do you want to listen to? Negative thoughts can be emotional while our own are based on facts/experience. You also need positive thoughts to help your mind look into this. Create a plan for positive mental health. It sounds like you have a lot of work to do in rebuilding a new life that brings you love and positivity. If you are spending large amounts of time by yourself then your negative thoughts can occupy that time and make you sad. Identify what triggers the thoughts and when do they happen?

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#15

I want to tell you somthing funny.this month i could barely work,but i got promotion and and now I’m manager of a team.i wanted to reject this position but it was impossible and the decision had made before.
Negetive thoughts are stronger and i am not able to defeat them.i don’t know why i love her so much and why the life seems worthless without her.she left me in my worst situation and didn’t let me to compensate or at least talk.so im full of regrets.it is the worst kind of punishment.6 months has past and the color of life has changed and i haven’t gotten better.
Sorry. But i couldn’t understand what you mean by “Create a plan for positive mental health”.when everything seems dark. and how i ruined my life by my own hands.
The negative thoughts is triggered by many things.she is like angel to me and the world separated to her and others. so now I’m out of that world and behind.i don’t have any hope since i’m out of the paradise(her).i don’t have a valid reason to live.sorry for nagging.but my mind belives she is an angel and now im alone in darkness.

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#16

You are dealing with the loss of someone special and also this medical condition, both will make you depressed. A talking therapist may be able to help you with your thoughts and the loss at the moment and perhaps help you put a mental health plan together to improve. If you are able to work that is fantastic and helps you to focus on other things. You should consider dealing with these issues first then when you are feeling better you might get in contact with her it is not impossible. You can either carry on as you are or change something, it’s up to you.

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