I used to have such a big social life… Now nobody smiles or greets me, people don’t make eye contact with me, not even teachers. No girls like me anymore.
The stress of school is killing any hope of recovery. 3 days I ago I was getting consistent improvements every day now I’m at baseline because of fucking school.
they all know you have PFS?
if they do, and are treating you like shit, F all of them bro. these are some tough lessons you are learning early on, but i think you have an advantage for being young while dealing with this.
anyways, youre going to have to stay tough. lift weights if you can (some people cant because of sides).
Nobody knows I have PFS and I’m not interested in telling them because it’s essentially telling kids you have erectile dysfunction. I don’t know whens the last time you’ve been in high school but it’s just not a good idea.
Anyways my main problem is with skin, I look like I’m 28-30 when I’m 17. I’m in my senior year of high school now so the shock of looking older isn’t as bad as it once was.
As far as lifting weights, I’m unfortunately in a state at baseline PFS where I don’t respond to exercise. I lift harder and heavier than the vast majority of kids my age and gain no muscle. Testosterone is absolutely not a problem for me, being “tough” isn’t either, infact every day is a struggle not to be bitchy and fight-starting attitude 24/7. I’m tall. Nobody picks on me. I wish people would pick on me, then I could at least respond back and have some fun. Instead it’s a constant 24/7 ignore from pretty much everyone. Which is significantly worse.
haha you have a good mindset already. I was like you as well when i first got PFS and had to deal with the anhedonia (wanted to fight everyone out of frustration)
and yeah, im definitely not telling you to tell your classmates about your problem.
listen man, youre in high school, time is on your side. lets see if the baylor study drops next month (crossing fingers) so we can figure out how to navigate to the solution/get better
Unfortunately “already” is being generous because I’ve already had PFS for 20 months, and for a good portion of those months I did have the uncivilized behavior. Now though, I’m in a mindset where I can slow my movement down, calm my anxiety and lower my testosterone which honestly helps everything.
I hope the Baylor study is good as well.
Hey @Zonz,
Thanks for writing about this. I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve been hit with this at such a young age. That is really rough hand to have been dealt.
I don’t really have much else to say but you have all my sympathy. If it’s difficult to talk to people around you or you would rather not, feel free to pm me.
Thanks for your kind words
I’m a lot older than you @Zonz and can’t imagine trying to deal with this at school. Personally I feel the 24/7 social anxiety is one of the toughest sides. As i feel awkward and look awkward my demeanor and body language has changed along with my ability to converse. People used to flock to me I have the experience the same avoidance from almost everyone, they pick up on the changes and react. Trying to stand upright, forcing a smile, looking open and trying to greet people helps a little(displaying confidence). Once in dialogue the mind has to think and the stage fright, fight /flight, feelings of dead etc fall away while in the converse train. Normal T levels bring forward the sociable and confident male. I do my best to try to replicate this by putting a front on as many of us do. Like going on stage taking a deep breath and going for it, retreating is a lot easier which unfortunately brings on the worst in terms of isolation and in turn rumination. Your a young fighter and doing an amazing job battling this as you are.