Psychological toll from this mess.

General Discussion
#1

I didn t find a topic here regarding the psychological damage this whole situation has caused us. Not side effects, but the way this whole trauma changed the way we see things. I am feeling better after five years of hell. I am looking for a job, organizing life again. i am not depressed, but i ve noticed a lot of changes in my self psychologically, that influence my social life. i want to share it:

  1. I don t trust anybody. Nobody, period.
  2. Words can t convince me, actions may.
  3. I have a great fear of getting sick again.
  4. Fear of commitment (being it a job or a relationship). My health and mood were so full of ups and downs in the past 5 years, i am not so confortable in commiting yet.
  5. Because of this experience, i don’t fit in with most people my age, my values have changed.
  6. I don t care for money, anything material or career, what i value the most now is peace.
  7. Most of the time i prefer to be alone.
  8. I care for people and working for a better world. I dont care for anything else.
  9. My work confidence is ruined after five years without a job.
  10. Ethics have always been important to me, but now it is even more. I ve declined two sales job offers, i just couldn t do it.
  11. I used to think most people are caring and generous, now i think the opposite.
  12. I used to be very optimistic, now i am a skeptic.

What about you?

#2

Yeah this has taxed me so much.

#3

This is the issue found the most frightening (but also morbidly enlightening) is the extent to which chemicals seem to control personality.

We I’m trying to sort out (will probably need professional help) is how your thinking patterns reinforce/affect changes that are brought about by hormones and neurotransmitters. Even if all physical pathology goes away, there might still be “residue” stress/depression that could keep us from feeling better.

#4

Good thread.

Surprisingly, most of the time I am pretty much good old me - humorous, very friendly, polite and my friends respect me a lot. However, I do have bad times where I start to believe that this has taken my whole life away, that I am ‘weird’ because of this, and that I will now never succeed in life. I get random sever anxiety over seeing people, talking in front of any crowd, my body literally feels like just crashing out all over very minor things.

What really keeps me going is having great groups of friends, at home and at university, a girlfriend who I can even joke about ‘PFS’ with, I know I shouldn’t, she knows it’s serious but we can say anything…

#5

Ah, the “random anxiety” issue. My experience has been that I’m no longer nervous about public speaking, performance, or similar things that used to make me feel nervous. Instead, I have (like UK20) random onsets of anxiety that appear when I’m hanging out with people I know or doing mundane things like cooking.

#6

It just comes along and ruins your whole day doesn’t it. I certainly don’t drink too much, but I find that some alcohol certainly helps to control it.