Welcome to our community. Please fill in the following template as a way of introducing yourself, and helping others to understand your background and situation.
Where are you from (country)?
Brazil
How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)
Google, Reddit
What is your current age, height, weight?
25, 1.71, 67kg
What specific drug did you use (finasteride, dutasteride, saw palmetto, isotretinoin/Accutane, fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, leuprorelin, etc…)?
Amitriptyline/ Bupropion
What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?
10mg / 150mg/day
What condition was being treated with the drug?
Depression / Anxiety
For how long did you take the drug (weeks/months/years)?
2 months - 1 week
Date when you started the drug?
Jun 20’
Date when you quit the drug?
August 7th 20’
Age when you quit?
23
How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?
cold turkey
How long into your usage did you notice the onset of side effects?
First 7 weeks pleasureless ejaculation. Tried to counteract it with Bupropion, after 5 days crashed completely
What side effects did you experience that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?
All of them except muscle twitches (greatly reduced, not 100% tho)
Check the boxes that apply. You can save your post first, then interactively check/uncheck the boxes by clicking on them. If your symptoms change, please update your list.
Sexual
XXXX - Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
X - Erectile Dysfunction
- Complete Impotence
XXX - Loss of Morning Erections
XX- Loss of Spontaneous Erections
X - Loss of Nocturnal Erections
XXX - Watery Ejaculate
XX - Reduced Ejaculate - Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm - In fact severe Premature Ejaculation
XXX - Reduced Sperm Count / Motility
Mental
XXXXX- Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
XXX - Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
X - Confusion
XXX - Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
XX - Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
X - Slurring of Speech
XX - Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive /
XX- Complacency
Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks - Already had, it’s blunted but it’s here
Severe Depression / Melancholy - Same as above
XXX - Suicidal Thoughts - But all these syndromes really get you suicidal, as once I never was before
Physical
XXX - Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
X - Penis curvature / rotation on axis - Slightly, appeared after a year
XX - Testicular Pain - sudden
XXXX - Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness - They are less than a half it was, and they alternate between annoyingly soft or annoyingly hard
XX - Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
- Weight Gain - in fact, sudden weight loss, lost 6kg in 2 weeks, eating the same as ever
- Gynecomastia (male breasts)
XXX - Muscle Wastage
XXX - Muscle Weakness
X - Joint Pain - Not many pain, but they occur intermittently with no reason and click A LOT. - Dry / Dark Circles under eyes
Misc
X - Prostate pain
XXX - Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
XXXX - Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
XX -Constipation / “Poo Pellets” - Constipated, but always diarrhea when I get a BM.
- Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
- Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
X - Hearing loss
XXX - Increased hair loss - My hair fall in clamps, not only head hair, but all hair over the body are thinned and weaker
X - Frequent urination
X - Lowered body temperature
Other (please explain)
What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?
Tried Androgel for 3 months to no avail. Also tried living healthy for 5 months at the countryside with semiperfect lifestyle.
If you have pre or post-drug blood tests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (please post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?
All normal, Test kinda lowish at 480 free T
Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience?
Nope
Tell us your story, in your own words, about your usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.
Its been 2y since last pill. Not really enjoyable being writting it over here as a member story of this very community, surrounded by horror stories (just like mine).
To start: Was clearly depressed for life’s circumstances, was tricked by a shrink to believe I had a chemical imbalance. It wasn’t, I was studying at a college I didn’t like, stress at house and ended a relationship right before pandemics started. Became imbalanced at my whole body level in fact, after 2 months of pharma pills. And I strongly suspect it was by Bupropion, which is dismissed by ones here but well, there’s nothing we could doubt in our conditions, i guess.
Even depressed and anxious, was a highly horny, emotional, artistic guy, played guitar/bass/piano/sax on a regular basis and was very motivated to compose songs, into recording etc (and frequently told I was good at that). Antidepressants removed all my passions and I have no drive to do the things I once most loved in my life. I’m a zombie, I don’t recognize myself. Lost my soul.
My body is also deteriorating. Everywhere is rubbery, including muscles, skin, penis. Which also became dry everywhere, including hair: no moisture produced anymore. Also hair is brittle and very, very thin. Muscle shrinkage ocurred rapidly, I lost 6kg in like 2 weeks, became thin after all my life being a “thick” guy with large shoulders and back, thick arms even without exercising much. Had also great capability of rapidly gaining lean mass. All but gone.
My jawline, which was very square, reduced and is now more triangular. And is not masculine. I developed it at 23 and till then I couldn’t grew facial hair and would shave once a month in a second. Now i have a mustache and some facial hair that grows pretty quickly and are thinned. Bear in mind that again, 23 yo, it’s not maturing and coincided with that very 2 months. Bizarre, yes. Large poruses on my face if I am not missing any othet thing. Oh, gum recession.
All of those symptoms appeared in few weeks and got progressively worse. My digestion is thrown out of the window also, never ever again had a normal stool. In the first 2 months after quitting I went to the toilet like 5 times, max.
I have allergies for foods that I never had, and lost allergies that I used to have all my life (rinitis and sinusitis).
Sound sensitivity too.
My cognition is affected but not that much. That’s why I fear testing with anything. Well, I learned that theres no thing that can’t get worse. My only problems is difficult finding words and short term memory. Also, emotionally, can’t feel nostalgia of any of my past memories. Feels like I look at them as photos taken by anyone else, no real attachment.
Can’t feel caffeine/alcohol/cigs. Can’t fall in love or feel any connection with those around me. If my grandma died (the one i used to love the most between my relatives) I’m sure my response would be blunted, as it is for anything else. Bear in mind that I was a fuckn emotional/romantic one, remember being in love constantly since my childhood, very sensitive, writing poems for girls I was romantically attracted. And from 15-23, always in various relationships. Which suck cuz now I’m single and whatever? Right now I’m writing this alone in home, I could call some girls to lay but oh. Got cursed. At 25, the life of my party.
My sex life rested in piece with no improvements till today. In fact I was quite comfortable with that aspect pre PSSD. I can get an erection with only physical stimulation and it’s hard to get and maintain. Tip doesn’t inflate. Sex is mechanic. Penis is rubbery and often cold. Premature Ejaculation also came immediately after crash, out of the blues. I was “normally” a guy that lasted long naturally. Zero libido now, even if I abstain, and take in mind that I was very, very, very hypersexual before, to an annoying level -I mean, every day 3 times type of guy. But it made part of my identity and I miss that shit so much.
Basically, I’m not myself anymore, lost everything that I had because of this shit drugs just to now be gaslit by doctors, even “functional” ones. I want to die everyday tbh, and lost trust in almost anything and anyone.
I lost all my blessings (and my friends used to say I had many, as talented as I once was), which i ignored. Until I lost them. Lost them for a greedy market, over tired/sad people. Or just people who wants to manage their self steem with hair, acne, whatever. We justed wanted help, and now we barely have it.
I dont fear dying, I fear fightin to no avail, and dying alone, “alone” into quotes cuz i dont even have myself anymore.
Oh, do I miss that guy? Do I miss the experiences that guy had me into? Will I ever find him at the crossroads again? Used to for 23 years, 24/7. I fucking miss you, dude. Please, please, PLEASE come back to me.
I just wanna have my life/myself back, but don’t have that much of hope. No windows, 2 years this next 7th. Fucking tough, guys.
PS.: Forgot to mention. I never was a good sleeper. But this PSSD/PFS/PAS type of insomnia is just another level. Also have that. Jackpot, blingbling.