No nothing different unfortunately
I am derealized out of my mind currently. I ate beans daily for like 2 years and never had issues before but i can tell my body is processing things differently now. Idk what has caused this monumental spike. Idk how I’m.supposed to get enough calories to live. What an absolute fucking nightmare
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Sodium butyrate nearly took me out and has so far been my worst crash which is saying something. But yes regular butyrate is naturally produced in the body and i think its good for us.
I created these sperate topics as a warning to not fuck around with SB and to display the extent of the damage this disease has brought upon me.
I’d also recommend no one eat vomit
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I have recently entered another level of hell with this disease. I’m just about done with this life. Could rattle off more symtoms. New symtoms. How much further down I’ve fallen. How my life has become nothing but trying not to crash and doing everything I can to not shake my broken ground. And how my body is failing me on every front. But what’s the point. It’s been useless. I’m just in hell. Don’t know how else to put it
Nearing the end of this journey. All it’s about now is how far do I sink and how much do I lose. Won’t be much more
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Any improvement, bud?
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Fantastico il fatto che abbia recuperato dai dolori e dalla perdita muscolare veramente un miracolo poi mi sa che è stato aggredito di più a livello psicologico. Sicuramente è un ragazzo molto giovane d questo può aver influito nel suo recupero. Io non riesco a riprendermi dal punto di vista fisico invece quello mentale riesco a controllarlo. E’ un peccato perché ritengo il problema fisico molto più invalidante con tutto il rispetto non poter contare sulle proprie gambe e’ qualcosa di veramente duro da sopportare. La sovraespressione degli AR nei soggetti con T basso è un dramma ed è la reazione del corpo ai bassi livelli cui lo abbiamo costretto in sostanza massimizza quel poco che hai e nel momento in cui smetti di ridurre il DHT ogni leggero incremento porta i recettori ad ossidare i neuroni producendo materiale che intossica e porta alla morte dei neuroni di qui i sides. Questo è il meccanismo della malattia di Kennedy (medico non l’ex presidente). Occorrerebbe un protocollo di riadattamento agli androgeni che preservi i neuroni dal lavoro dei recettori AR. Ciò non è stato mai studiato come non c’è evidenza di mutazioni genetiche eventualmente in grado di essere corrette. In molti casi a mio avviso riducendo il T si potrebbe trarre qualche giovamento non attraverso inibitori della 5 alfa reduttasi ma attraverso sistemi che non incidono sugli enzimi. La compromissione della digestione e della defecazione in tanti sono la prova di in infiammazione diffusa che porta a malassorbimento ed indebolimento generale che dipendono dallo stress ossidativo cui sono sottoposti i neuroni dai recettori AR sovraespressi. Non sono un medico prendete questo con ogni beneficio del dubbio
Alive. Still.
I have a link on some GHB. Strongly considering trying it.
Thoughts?
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Cosa sono GHB? Metti il link non lo trovo . Grazie
English?
What dose of sodium butyrate did you take?
I emptied a capsule and put a grains of sand ammount back. Maybe 1/1000s of a capsule.
Blew my mimd and body apart. That’s how sensitive my system is and how bad this shit fcuked me up. Thanks God I didt not take more
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It’s odd because you need a high dose for it to work.
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I’m worse 
How are your cartilages? Did they improve or are they still deteriorating?
Stopping by to say I had a brief improvement window. I dont know what caused it. I had crashed from stress and perhaps lamb glandular . But for a few weeks since may my condition was not raging. Derelaization improved, cognition, depression improved. Not cured in any stretch but better. Maybe it was sun exposure? Digestion improved to a small extent. But i felt much more intune with myself and the world. I also had more energy.
The only things that remained bad were my skin and libido. But I had alsmot zero body pains
Now keep on mine I said improved. Not cured. there were times I still felt bad and the condition was always there but the severity had been turned down
Now tho it is back. Tinnitus, insane visual snow, de realization, depression and cognition have all taken a massive hit… My body is back to feeling weak and hollow. I cant get out of bed and im.a groggy brain foggy mess. I had kinda forgotten what this felt like when its hitting. I ate a few bites of a pizza the other night and also masturbated and had a numb and dull orgasm. Im now back in it.
Going to wait a couple weeks and maybe try lamb glandular again. Even tho I literally scraped some of the powder under my nail thats how much I used before.
I haven’t even used clonazepam in a month!
Anyway I briefly had a clarity I hadn’t felt in Years. I was telling myself how much I loved myself. I was feeling kind of hopeful maybe I was on a path to keep improving but thats not the case I suppose this disease will show its face and is always hiding in the back ground to come at you. Im very thankful im.not as bad as I was in the sodium Butyrate days but those days can easily and drastically come back if one fucks around
So my temporary improvement was from
A crash / stress response evening me out for a time
Lamb glandular
Vit D from sun exposure
Went from a 4/10 to like 7.5/10
Back at 4 now (I’ve been at zero)
Just wanted to share this update with everyone. I ve had this happen before. Brief windows. Windows close. But this is the longest one yet. Praying I can get back there
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Fatigue / brain fog is brutal and depression is back bad. I felt fucking GOOD for a bit there. Fuck me. i was really hoping it would last.
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Crashing fucking hard after being sprayed for fleas. Apartment under me is disgusting bad infested passed onto my cat somehow. Got sprayed today like a fucking gas chamber still. Cock died. Feel absolutely horrendous
Everything in my apt is contaminated. FUCK
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No where else i can sleep or stay. Fucking God fucking damn it. Back in hell
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Update may 2026
Not sure where to begin. Still alive. Still fighting. Although things are in steady decline
Mentally it’s as if any connection to the old me is gone. My humor, my knowledge, what little ambition i had. It all seems like a heavy wet blanket has been placed over everything. My connection to music is all but severed. Im just completely flat aside from feeling miserable and hopeless. Its like im losing the little minutia of what made me up.
My derealization and visual symtoms are vastly worse and chronic at baseline. Tinnitus screaming 24/7. Im 1.5 months out from quitting smoking. And the cigarettes actually helped me in the beginning . They had crashed me to hell numerous times before. But i took a drag of a friends and it eased my symtoms i went and bought a pack and the dopamine or whatever helped me. I smoked from oct 2025 to April 1st 2026. When I was smoking I could still feel my benzos and sleep meds. Now I feel absolutely nothing from clonazepam and my zoplicone. My receptors are fried now. Its weird because I can actually fall asleep on my own now but I awake after 2 or 3 hrs. And im wired in the morning although I still just lay in bed. I actually had sex a handful of times and was able to maintain and last a little bit while smoking. After either failing because of zero libido or having severe pme when i would get it up. But then I started getting major bloating and dizzyness. Like I was going to pass out all the time. It was persistent so I quit. Im hoping I can recover some of my benzo effects because it was the only armor i had in this war. Its a massive loss to have.
Physically i am weak as ive ever been. Tiny muscles. Pulled ligaments. Skin is dead flesh. Signaling shutting down system wide. Now im not the melting bone and muscle pain cant even hold my phone to my ear type weak (which i have been) but for just everyday im in a sorry state. My skin…is just i dont even know. I can’t describe. Its breaking down and is like mush. Ive aged dramatically this past year. White hairs everywhere. Im slower. Weaker. Cant do anything at the gym i used to. I barely even go now bacaue it crashes me usually if i even try to break a sweat. Stamina is way way down.
My memory is fucking toasted. Absolutely early dementia in my timeline. even for me its bad.
Not sure why im even writing this. When things are bad now they are exceptionally bad . I lay in bed watching youtibe like a lobotomy patient all the time. Ive lost a lot and am losing more but somehow I have a drive in me to keep going. There is something inside thats not letting me totally freak out over how bad im getting to be. Like there is a dam holding in the flood waters. But im really seeing my lights go out one at a time. This post doesnt do it justice to what im trying to describe. I feel absolutely fucked up all the time with very little semblance of me left. My brain emotions feelings thoughts intricacies how i see and feel the world its all just like massivly massivly turned down and tuned out. More than ever and im scared but also kind of indifferent at the same time.i cant reslly explain it. Maybe some level of acceptance over being doomed. Maybe its just my current brain chemistry. Idk.
Im still maintaining friendships, I still play in bands, and im.still able to fake it through but the mental and physical shift from even last year this time is dramatic and worse.
Ps i tried a tiny bit of ghee(1/4 teaspoon) the other week snd it blew me apart for a few days. Anything that even touches on methylation is to be avoided at all costs
Anyway idk just putting this all out there even just for myself as this had been a kind of diary I come back to
Hoping we have answers on the horizon I saw some video with a young dr that was promising. If not in my time then hopefully down the line a treatment will be there for people like us
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Friends im in really big trouble. A deep pitted anxiety is pushing its way to the surface. I can barely sleep and my derealization is absolutely insane. The worst it has ever been. Chronically. The world is like an acid trip all day. I almost couldn’t drive last night because of how pixelated my vision is. Cutting out the almond butter and potatoes. Only pinto beans and water from here on out.
A major shift is taking place. Somehow, SOMEHOW, Im keeping my composure as im thrown back into derelaization hell the likes of which I haven’t experienced in years. This is different tho. Please god dont let this be too harsh for me permanently. Please let it settle and please bring back how my pills work for me. I can tell this will take a lot of time to even out from if thats even possible.
Please Keep me in your thoughts friends.
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Hey man, I’ve read through your posts and I honestly try not to visit this website. Anyways, what you have is substance/drug blockage. I have the same but it is improving. The good news is it is not permanent. Valproic Acid has greatly reduced my anxiety and helped with sleep. Like anything else it could crash you but I probably have no response to benzos or ambien. In my eyes, it is better than 24/7 anxiety and insomnia with dreaded anhedonia.
Edit - I had no anti-anxiety response to Zuranolone from a legit US pharmacy.