Physical and Mental Side effects - Accutane

[Catto]

Mental:
Just thought I would vent here & get down all of the mental side effects that I’ve noticed after taking Accutane, so I could correlate with others, and use it as a point of reference for when I go through with all the recovery programs on here.

Firstoff… Dopamine? In this Society?

Haha, jokes aside… after taking Accutane, dopamine is a rare/nonexistent commodity in my life. I rarely feel the spike of happiness & dopamine you get from good things. If i do feel “happy” It’s like 1/4 of what I used to feel, y’know? And while that’s livable, I guess, it still always has me begging for more. Everything got emotionally numbed down so so much. It feels like I’m living my life in limbo, sometimes. When I laugh, I don’t get that Spike of happiness and dopamine rushing to my brain. I I don’t feel anything when I laugh. I remember how happy I used to be before Accutane, always laughing, joking around and having a wonderful life doing so. I don’t let the fact that I don’t get any dopamine from laughing stop me from making jokes and being myself, but I would trade anything in the world to feel that feeling again.

I’m rarely actually… sad? Though? It’s hard to feel strong emotions either way since I took Accutane, it’s hard to cry, and and it’s hard to feel happy.

Sometimes I consider this limbo state of emotional numbness to be a fate worse then just having depression but being able to also feel happy sometimes. I don’t have that choice, it’s just feel not very happy nor not very sad. It’s like the same cloudy day over and over, if you get bored of it you know? You want more Spice in your life, you wanna deeply sob, you wanna feel overwhelmed with happiness. That doesn’t happen for me. It’s just like being able to feel 1/4 of either emotion…

Another emotion that’s hard to feel is anxiety, or pressure. I seem to have much less fear of death, danger, and risk. I fear nothing. Again, my mental will stops me from do anything stupid are letting myself fail though, because I’m determined as fuck to get through life.

Love is harder to feel, as well, but that just goes with the lack of in my brain. I still am a very loving and caring person.

Thank you so much for reading my log!

Talking about your problems makes you feel better. Music helps a lot too…

I will update all of you on my progress on going through with the recovery programs on here!

Physical:
I used to have erectile dysfunction for about an entire year after I got off accutane, which physically affected me.

Combined with the emotional damage Accutane inflicted, it was a k/o on my sexual health.

I used to be able to only get erections like every couple days at night, any stress whatsoever and I wasn’t going to have a fun time. Messed up, lost two or three partners because of it you know.

For my time off of Accutane that was my lowest point, most likely chance to kill myself, darkest time in life.

But since then I’ve improved a lot, physically speaking I am doing way way better.

I started taking 2 TBSP OF L-Citrulline a day and 1-2 tsp of pine bark extract to boost it my boner power even more. Every morning, and holy shit dude… It’s like dirt cheap cialis. I can jack off every single day now, have sex with people, and feel better about myself.

It was my miracle cure for ED issues.

Another thing that has GREATLY helped me is not looking at porn at all. That helps a LOT! Check this out: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/too...m-porn-addiction/rebooting-basics-start-here/

However, it is still noticeable that I’m not on par with what I used to be, and sometimes it gets a bit to start the engines, if if you know what I mean.

But it’s manageable and I’m so thankful that I got to this point physically.

Despite this, the mental side effects suck ass and life is still pretty lame.

But I’m very very thankful it’s not as lame as it used to be when I had sexual problems.

[Zonz]

What you’re describing is anhedonia. I had it as well, but I’ve made great improvements through meditation. Now time moves slower and I take everything in more, which are both good things. 8 months ago days would pass by like they’re nothing and I would feel horribly empty at the end, now I feel much more satisfied with everything. Still have PFS though. I’m going to copy paste this comment I told someone earlier:

"To meditate, of course you have the part about closing your eyes and and cessation of all thoughts for a small period of time. That’s pretty much like lifting but for your brain. But I think there’s another part to it, something that you apply to yourself 24/7. For me, I have removed myself from my internal dialogue, any time I find myself talking to myself in my head about something that bothers me, like how I’m going to treat my PFS etc, I stop it the moment I realize I’m doing it. I also move slower, I had a huge problem with walking too fast and opening doors to hard. I think that’s a product of anxiety. When I talk, I talk a bit slower and don’t use any slang or swears. I notice people pay attention more and are more engaged with me when I talk like that. You basically force yourself into a relaxed mood and you become a relaxed person in the process.

This whole idea about having to make a difference in the world and getting outraged over every problem in the world is a purely modern concept… You don’t have to have an opinion on everything, and you can’t let stupid stuff bother you. I’m not sure if you have that problem but I definitely did. I feel a lot better not letting things affect me anymore. Even when a teacher or friend is being bitchy or in a bad mood, I don’t become bitchy myself. If that makes sense. Don’t think of that in a rude way btw lol."

The relation between doing that and feeling emotions again may seem like a stretch, but you will see it eventually. I regularly feel emotions, and yes the vast majority of them are depressive or nostalgic, because I still don’t have a very broad social life thanks to PFS. But at least I feel now and not just angry 24/7.

[orthogs]

@Catto, well described. Mirrors my situation almost perfectly, though I got struck by Finasteride.