So this is it. Here i am.
It’s the beginning of october 2019 and i’ve just finished my course of accutane (which didn’t gave me PFS). Holy shit, a clean skin. The time of my life. Never, ever felt so happy in my life. I loved playing football, got a new haircut, for the first time i got attention from some girls. This led to me having my first kiss and my first (and probably last) GF. And then Covid-19 came so me and my GF became bored and started smoking lots and lots of weed everyday. Yeah, fucked me up.
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It’s the beginning of october 2020, it’s 4 months after i developed severe Visual Snow Syndrome from heavy weed and MDMA usage. At this point i feel just a bit depressed and anxious from frying my serotonin, glutamate and dopamine receptors. Life was a bit shitty, that was mainly because of my trippy vision. Actually it was my OCD. Still my GF left me cause i became a boring boyfriend. Fuck me
It’s the beginning of october 2021 and time flies fast/slow. Idk anymore, my perception of time has changed alot since those 14 pills. 'M talking about Antidepressiva. Somewhere like 8 months ago, in february 2021.
18 years old, but feeling physically like a 60 year old man, or a 10 year old boy.
Timeline:
• February
- Took Zoloft
- Hair got thin, dry and brittle
- Developed anhedonia
- Muscle weakness
- Lost libido
- Severe OCD and DP/DR
• March
- All symptoms just got worse
• April
- All symptoms just got worse
• May
- All symptoms just got worse
• June
- Tried carnivore/keto diet but quit after 2 weeks so no difference
• July
- All symptoms just got worse
• August
- All symptoms just got worse
• September
- Tried carnivore diet for 3 weeks. After ± 20 days i felt a heavy, too heavy detox.
Since then:
- Cold penis
- 50% less libido, so basically its 10% now
- Feminized hands
- Smaller shoe size
- Thinner and less arm hair
- Less sharp jawline
- Feeling like i have 30% less IQ points
- Feeling smaller (weird ikr)
So… This is defo it. Here i f&cking am.
At this point i have severe severe eye floaters, tinnitus, visual snow and PFS only at the age of 18. And believe me my visual snow is really, really bad and noisy.
I failed at life, i really did. It’s just a matter of time before my penis shrinks. It’s the only symptom i don’t have yet. Fuck.
Idk cause i’m far FAR from cured.