Hi guys,
I just needed to write this post as I am dealing with two sides of the coin.
Been deceivingly great for two days: energy, clear thoughts, wanting to act up etc…
I am currently at a cultural event I usually attended with my girlfriend who left one month after my PFS nightmare…
The last two months have been total shit on various fronts.
The PFS one is already a tough one and I am still dealing with accepting, adjusting my life to this unexpected event.
Couple of friends have been in the confidence but I can only grateful for them to listen and some even read about the syndrome…
Even if I try to socialize I feel PFS is a lonely thing…
A month ago my girlfriend left me.
The stress my fin intake put on our relationship became too difficult for her.
Within months I became different yet unable to bridge the gap with the actual problem : a fucking hair pill, Tchernopill…
The best term I could use to describe my change : edgy, fussy.
What should have been shrugged off became ridiculously huge…
Forward to June and bridging the gap between my symptoms and the pill was a shock…
I was in stress and looking for answers…
My GF got tired, she got on with her life and she told me I was responsible for what happened to me…
I know you will think she is bad for doing this but I am stupid enough to take the blame and and feel I created all this…
I am sorry for gazing at my belly again but it is the only place I can express my feelings.
I just informed people we split up, but lie about the reasons. Throwing PFS in the mix would be another burden…
PFS is one thing, facing it with a postive mind is essential but the break up is just too much…
I am trying my best, but every time I end up thinking I am to blame for all this, maybe I should have known…
This post is for anyone who is dealing or who has dealt with this double hell…
I have no answers but maybe you will relate to how I feel…
Right now I need a fucking hug, a pat on the shoulders, anything that will make me feel a decent human being…
Yesterday I was strong, today I am weak…
This is it…
Abrazos, bises, hugs ( man hugs)…