Paine's story, depressed and need help

I am apologize for not being 100% about this thread, but I need to post something. I took propecia for about 36 days and stopped because i noticed ED and decreased libido. After about 2 or 3 weeks i would say i was about 90 to 95% recovered and stayed that way. I was able to have sex multiple times in one day and did not notice anything. About 4 months after that, about a month ago, I could not get hard unless I had a lot of physical stimulation and I could not maintaine it. Thats when i started reading things online and became extrememly depressed and started planning my suicide. Then i came to a post that people have recovered at about 8 month, 1.5 years, and 4.5 years. I also read that if you eat cauliflower it helps your body rid your itself of excess estrogen. So, I started eating that, lots of that, and I noticed great improvements. After about a month I could get an errection, with lot of concentration, and it was very easy to get an erection with physical stimulation. My errection would stay a little longer, still soft though. I still do not get very strong morning erections and I do not get random erections, but, I have seemed to stop there. I cant tell if I am improving that much anymore and I am getting very depressed, again. So, I wanted to ask, no CRY for help. I am really sorry, but I have given myself until 5/15/13, because 6/1/13 is the 8 month mark, then I am going to purchase a gun. Anyone who sees this in time, please help.

hey mate

i think a lot of the people on this forum have been in your position. Trust us when we say your mental state will improve and with it your perception of your symptoms. if you are able to get an erection you are already doing significantly better than a large portion of people on this forum. it’s also early days yet and this has a really good chance of fixing itself.

Mate - there was a period where I felt exactly the same as you but the depression you are feeling is as much an effect of the drug as the sexual side effects. This will almost certainly get better and you will return to a much more stable place where the other side effects aren’t so dire.

If you wanna chat PM me. This is a hell of an illness but rest assured within 12 months of going off the drug you will feel MUCH better about what’s happened. We are really all in this together and even though I’m just a dude on the internet I know what you’re going through, I believe this is due to finasteride (unlike most doctors you have likely spoken to) and I care that you’re in pain.

All you can do is work hard at keeping your shit together, focus on things that are important to you (or were important to you, and even if they aren’t now they will be again) and weather this shitstorm.

I can say that physically I’m probably 80% better at 9-10 months off. sex isn’t an issue and the mental side effects are increasingly fleeting. I’d say it seems like you’re progressing in a similar way to me.

stay strong bru.

PM me as well bro. Have you tried a SERM restart? I noticed a HUGE increase in sexual functioning when I took toremifene but I believe my dose was too high as I crashed a few days later. You have a lot of options here and judging by your post you have not tried many.

What these guys said.

Giving yourself an arbitrary time limit on recovery is not the way to go. What if you blow your head off at 8 months, not knowing you would have recovered at 9 or 10 months? I’ve read reports of people taking Fin and recovering over every timeline you could think of. What I’ve learned is that this condition is so different for everyone you can’t base your situation on anyone else’s. I was almost successful at suicide a couple months ago, thinking I was doomed. This month I’ve had sex again for the first time in months and other small improvements. Another guy on the forum was stone cold impotent for 8-9 months, then he’s suddenly had huge progress in the past month or so. I read another story about a guy that suffered with PFS for three years, then completely out of nowhere it resolved itself in a couple months. The point is, you never know what the future holds, and you’ll never find out if you do something rash. It really sucks, I know, and it can be very hopeless, but recovery will eventually come and when it does life will be sweeter than you could have ever imagined.

hey dude keep pushing man, stay away from drugs dude… give yourself body nutrients to heal - cut out junk food, coffee, dairy, chicken …add heaps of fresh food and vegtables give your body the stuff to heal

Exercise will help you as well …fuck the damn pills and vanity your health is whats counts!

go jogging a few days a week it will also help on your test levels :slight_smile:

So, I mentioned the word suicide on a work IM and they, literally, forced me to go get evaluated. I thought I was going to just go home, but after I told the hospital why I was depressed they would not let me leave and put me on lockdown for 5 days. She said she met guys like me and they did similar things and that it was not a cry for help and them like me will follow through with it. I said what if I just leave and they said they would call the cops and have them bring me back and hold me against my will. But, while I was there I had them test my testosterone levels and my Testosterone level was 567, my TF level was 91 and my free testosterone level was 1.6. So, I am right inside the normal levels and would explain why I am starting to notice good improvements and why I am starting to feel normal again. I must be doing something right.

take any help to you can get. make the things easier, trying to force nothing but let it flow. you will see it come other days, better days. believe in it and believe in you.

So, I just got done with all my, forced, psychology appointments. I was feeling better and performing better for a while and was thinking I was getting better. I have dipped back down and it has made me extrememly depressed again. I have created another date to commit suicide, if I dont recover by then I will follow through. This time, no one will be able to stop me. I have learned from my mistakes and I will leave no clues whatsoever. I guess I wasnt longed for this planet. I promis I will post a reply on here the day before and the day of to have good news and say I am recovered or I will say my final goodbyes.

Anybody know if Paine is still around?

I’m just holding on to do the Harvard research if I get that far, otherwise I will be doing the same. As every day goes by, I’m feeling worse, more depressed, more penis shrinkage…

By that I mean suicide. If somebody handed me a pill that was to end it all painlessly, I would take it now!

I might go tonight, if I’m not here tomorrow fellow sufferers then see you on the other side.

Hope most of you get cured and thanks for those that have helped or replied to my posts.

I’ve been through the rough part, and thoughts of ending it just like you guys…

Here’s what worked for me: After trying 6 different anti-depressants, often worsening my depression, I quit taking them completely after titrating down. Then I quadrupled my fish oil intake, known to help with depression. Within a week, I noticed an improvement in my depression. I continue to take 4 large fish oil pills daily and it’s helping a lot.

I intend to stick around long enough to inflict some major damage to Merck. Hope you guys will do the same.

I am still here. I still have a few months left. At this point I wish the day would come faster because death will set me free and relieve all my pain. I know its not as great as other people’s pain, but I want my life back. I wont except anything less.

I wouldn’t commit suicide if I were you, but I know there’s nothing I can do about it. Don’t do it, mate. It’s such a stupid thing, you’ve got to think about your loved ones. Don’t be so selfish at this moment.

Have you really made up your mind to take this path?

You have to be alive to feel relief. You’re just going to be miserable up until the moment you no longer exist.

For the most part, yes I have made up my mind about this. Yes, I want to live and have my life back, but I am not waiting 7 years to never. I will not live the rest of my life like this. So, that leaves me with two options, recover or death. Death is winning.


I hope you are still around. You quite Fin in November of last year. You’re not even at the year mark. A lot of the guys on here have noticed improvements in their second year.

Your suicidal thoughts are COMPLETELY normal with this crap. Everyone here understands. I think about it EVERY day. But, I gave myself two years. That’s a good amount of time. Then in two years, I’m sure I’ll have seen some improvements. Then, after I’ve seen these improvements, I can give myself another year. And so on and so on.

Sometime, we will all recover, or soon there will be treatment to help. Even if you don’t get back to exactly where you were, you CAN adjust to a modified version of your former life.


Any word from this guy, he still around?

Shit I just looked at his profile last time he logged on was July 30th, 6 days after his last post…

Some time ago sent email and asked if any body has committed suicide from sides of propecia.But how can we know the true news?
I have asked repeatedly Mew to collect personal telephone numbers of members by their permission so that if something happens like this Mew (or someone else responsible) can verify it. But I don’t know what Mew wantss. I have no idea what his agenda is. Why doesn’t he want to do this.Outsiders or normal people have no idea what kind of pain we are going through.

he is still live?