Yeah she knows and is amazing about it. I’m grateful for her because she has been supportive.
I do exercise and try for fast for 20 hours per day. I feel it was working but recently I have been eating more junk food… I guess I got comfortable in my recovery that made me feel invincible and not realize I am still fragile. Strange thing is all my hormone results were normal, so I’m not sure why diet should have an effect on me…
Thanks for your words of support my friend
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20 h of fasting is insane, just skip one meal a day and skip sugar/junk food. Be patient, any minor sexual failure can cause u severe depression now, so try to lessen sex for some months
Yeah… up until today sex was possible. Today it was totally impossible. It was like when I woke up impotent after my first pill.
The first month was hell. I contemplated suicide, was breaking down and freaking out. Depression was unreal. Something I never experienced before.
This crash is like going back to then, but now I think am moreso mentally equipped to try and deal with it and focus on recovery. However, I’m not feeling so good already. Seeing my penis not reacting today just like a month and a half ago made me desperate and panic, which I’m sure will make my situation worse. How are you doing now?
But it did react before so it will be fine. If u got hit by pfs u wouldnt be able to get it up no more.
Thx, doing much better since pfs crash (february 2020), yet im left with
- shrink balls
- shrink penis when flaccid (but ok when erect
- low libido
- reduced ejacuation pleasure
- muscle wastage
- returning depression / anhedonia
- fatigue (though its slowly improving)
But i was in much worse place, insomnia and suicidal for the first month, first months is the worst place of pfs so i feel ya. I lost my dick size over a night.
I’m glad you’re doing better.
I feel depression and anhedonia are related to libido. When I got my libido back just over 3 weeks ago, I felt my depression and anhedonia lift completely. I was excited for life again and for the future.
Having this random crash now has me worried that the first month of sides will return. Things feel bleak now…
Have you had severe ups and downs in your recovery journey so far?
Sure man, february-march was pure nightmare.
april-june was really depression and anxiety
july i started to battle anxiety
august was almost back to normal as far as mood, also slight increase in libido
recently i had some depressive waves again. I tracked my hormones, and they gave me prove that my system tries to rebalance, so there was a chemical reason behind my ups and downs, you can check my story here
Brace yourself that there could be long up and downs, but in my example so far, the downs get less severe as I mentally adjust and my hormones stabilize.
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Its just surreal. I was on the road to getting better after about 3 weeks to a month. Horny with girlfriend, erections when just being next to her and even morning wood 3 or 4 times along with some erotic dreams. We would be at it and I would be pretty consistently hard (maybe requiring a little stim every here and there)
This lasted precisely 3 and a half weeks before a sudden crash. Its like I never had the recovery at all. Penis is back to feeling limp and lifeless.
During recovery, in the mornings even if I had no wood, it would feel fuller and I could touch it a little and it would go hard easily for a while. Of course once I was up and awake it would go pretty limp until I was with my gf (which is nearly everyday) when I could get horny by concentrating a little and being around her. Masturbating was easy enough too.
I feel as though I was given hope of recovery, just to have to ripped away from me again.
Does anything think this could be due to a bad diet? I fast intermittently, but have been eating a fair bit of fried chicken, pizza, milkshakes etc. But this didn’t impede my initial recovery at all which is what is confusing me.
Could it be from me over-consciously trying to overwork my penis? The day before when I saw it got briefly soft with my gf, it made me panic that evening and i continued to worry into the next day, desperate to test it out again the following evening to see if I would crash or not, and sure enough, I did.
Can anyone else speak from experience if the odds of another recovery are likely?
I am praying for another recovery… I was on the slow path to getting better and felt optimistic and dare I say happy for these recent 3 and a half weeks.
Anxiety and depression has kicked back in. I didn’t realize I was this weak. Feeling really down right now. Scared I will never recover again. Don’t know if I can handle another bout of impotence while waiting for a recovery that may or may not come
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You’re not weak. Anxiety and depression is a perfectly normal reaction to this circumstance.
You are an individual exposed to a vile situation completely unjustifiably all because big pharma would prefer to make some profit than take a medicine off the market that ruins lives.
Personally I wouldn’t bank on a recovery at this point unfortunately, I did a similar thing when I first got PFS and eventually I had to just accept it wasn’t going to happen.
Stay healthy, look after your mental health and try to accept this new state as normal would be my best advice. Its not the end of the world and there are still plenty of things to enjoy in life presuming your emotional blunting isn’t that bad.
Good luck mate, my heart aches for people who have to go through this.
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I have to believe there is a chance. Before my first recovery, I was certain my life was over and the sense of doom nearly brought me to the end. Then after nearly a month, my libido shot up which lasted over 3 weeks until yesterday basically.
Upon this crash my depression and anxiety set back in. Its all dependant on my sexual function basically. I don’t have emotion anhedonia again (at least yet, I don’t think) and today while with my gf kissing her I felt a sense of libido and tingling, just now there was no more reaction downstairs. This is something I felt sometimes prior to my first improvements. I know I have to set my expectations. But I’m hoping a partial (but still significant) recovery after 3 and a half weeks for 3 and a half weeks must mean I’m not broken beyond repair.
How are you doing sexually and mentally now? I read your posts back in my first weeks. Really heartbreaking.
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I’d remain optimistic if you’re having brief recoveries since getting PFS I maybe recovered twice. First time it was a few weeks after seizing Finasteride use, my libido exploded, I presume this was the phase of PFS where you experience a hightened androgen system it felt very similar to being on high doses of testosterone.
My second recovery was after doing Masteron and Proviron but it literally only lasted 2 days and then I went back to my PFS state.
Unfortunately I’ll never be the same libido wise and mentally. Its taken me a long time to come to terms with it, even now I still struggle and it’ll hit me I have PFS and I’ll struggle to find the will to live. It definitely fucked up my mental health and put me on a bad road causing me to drop out of university and sexually I just never recovered bar those two times I mentioned earlier.
I hope you have better luck than me pal, I’ll be praying for your recovery, and if you ever want to shoot me a DM just to talk or vent about PFS or literally anything you’re free to do so.
Best wishes
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Don’t give up mate. It’s been less than a year for you. You’ll be in my prayers.
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Interestingly when this first happened after my first pill, hair loss stopped almost immediately. Almost no hairs in the shower or on my pillow. As the days / weeks went by I noticed it picked up again which was linked with gradual erection quality increase then eventual libido increase. During my 3 1/2 week recovery I had quite a lot of hairs on my pillow each morning, but yesterday morning (crash) and this morning, barely a hair on my pillow. So this drug is playing with my ar receptors, right?
I’m breaking down again. A partial yet significant recovery after less than a month for a fairly decent amount of time of 3 and a half weeks. I felt this was an upward trend stupidly. I felt invincible and positive about things.
Having the hope given to me and ripped away has made me even more hopeless than when I first woke up impotent after 1 pill I think. My life was getting back on track for those 3 and a half weeks of big improvements. Took on extra work, planned to get a car, talked more seriously about marriage with my gf. Never needed ciallis either.
Now it all seems like its been ripped away once again. Having my ability to get hard and zest for life return and then ripped away again. I have a date with my gf soon and I don’t know how I will act normal.
I don’t think I can handle it. I’ve prayed and cried 3 times or so this morning (I couldn’t actually cry after I first took the pill nearly 2 months ago, so good I suppose? Less emotional anhedonia)
Please, if there is any hope of a second recovery or improvements after my first one, please let me know. Anyone who had a similar experience.
My case is unique i guess. Impotent after one pill, nothing for 3 weeks then sudden libido and erections with my gf. Then I guess I had my first ‘crash’ and now back to square one
I know I may be asking for false hope, because I could never get better again, but I’m back to depression and 24/7 panicking.
Please. Anyone.
There is hope.
My penis is now more shrunk and noodle-like (in terms of feeling like play-do). After the first pill in August, my penis would maintain a larger than usual size when limp. I took a little solace in that, but now since my crash a couple of days ago after partial recovery, it’s gotten smaller when flaccid it seems. Feels more dead than when I first woke up impotent after that one pill. Accompanied by the unchanging overly sagging testicles of course. Jeez…
Date with gf today, absolutely zero reaction to anything down there. It’s horrible, because I just remember 2 days ago the great feeling of having a brain-penis connection.
On another note, when masturbating at home after there seemed to be pressure, as it didn’t just trickle out but partially spurted out and felt fairly decent. One silver lining in this hell I’ve been dragged back into.
I apologize for my constant posting of my situation. I guess it’s my way of coping for now
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Suicidal thoughts are back… I just want to disappear from this earth again. I’m so tired. Up until my partial recovery I was exhausted, trying to put myself in sexual situations to stimulate myself, which I guess had some effect as I exploded with libido at that point. But now after this crash 3 days ago, I’m just so tired and feel it’s pointless. I’m sick of trying to stimulate an erection every morning and night to increase bloodflow… I just can’t go on like this. Can anyone give me some advice on how to cope. I need hope more than anything. I just don’t… know how long I can take this. Even just a conversation with anyone would be nice.
Sorry guys
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I’m at the end of my rope… This crash is worse than my first after the first pill. Penis has shrunk a lot and could not get it up even with stim the past few hours. I masturbated limp and it only got hard for a few seconds while ejaculating. This is a new low point.
I think this is the end of the road for me. I can’t handle it anymore. Not many seem active on here and I feel completely alone and isolated in this hell. Thank you those who have tried to calm me down. Sorry for bringing all of you down these past couple of months.
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As hard as it is at the moment for you, given how recently you stopped finasteride, there is hope for you that things can improve. I would advise you to stop trying to test your sexual response and cease masturbating for a while. I imagine that’s adding more anxiety to the mix. How are your neurological/mental symptoms at the moment? Are your remaining problems exclusively sexual?
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Thank you for your response. Yeah, sexual, but that brings with it the severe depression and constant panic attacks with bluntness from the libido loss again. I just recovered partially (but significantly) from impotence for 3 and a half weeks so I thought I’d only get better. Well, I crashed to worse than my previous state, not that I ever thought it was possible (smaller flaccid penis this time). Not sure of the outlook from crashes like that.
I don’t even know if my first ‘crash’ after taking one pill was a technical crash. Just woke up with dead penis. Then the mental sides followed
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