My Finasteride use:
I used Proscar, which I cut up into quarter tablets to the best of my ability, for roughly 4 or 5 years. Although I noticed some side effects almost immediately after starting (oozing ejaculations and the like), I felt safe “knowing” that according to the label these symptoms would go away when I discontinued use. I was young and nowhere near ready to give up my hair, so I lived with it.
Years down the road and my sexual stamina began to suffer. In the past, run of the mill sex was usually between 30 and 60 minutes with the occasional half day marathon. I found myself at a point where it was difficult to go longer than 5 minutes and even on my best day, more than 20 minutes was impossible. I went through a rough patch with my girlfriend so it’s difficult to say exactly how long this deterioration took, but my best guess is a couple of months.
The end of my Finasteride use:
I stumbled on this site quite by accident. I immediately went to my doctor with my concerns and they suggested that I quit cold turkey. They told me to just give it some time and see what happens.
The following month I went through what seems like the typical crash with a brief, almost week long period where I was my old self again. My old self didn’t last long, but having a chance to go back to morning erections and effortless sex at the half hour mark was incredible. More importantly, my ejaculations regained that lost spark both in force and in the intensity of the experience.
The crash kicked in, of course, and although I’m not sure that my condition worsened, I do know that I became a 2-3 minute man. I was thankful that I could still go from start to finish, but I still felt horrible about my performance.
Time and observation:
Having such a violent contrast from before and after the crash gave me valuable insight as to what exactly had changed.
I noticed that I had only rubbery erections while masturbating. They lacked proper stiffness and although I hadn’t given it much attention at the time, I was compensating with an almost lifting kind of muscle movement- the sort of thing you’d do to move your nod your penis without your hands from an erect state or perhaps similar to what you would do to force the last of the urine out while in the bathroom. The force of my erections was not from my penis, but rather it felt like it was being held up from inside.
During that brief period of clarity, erections were effortless. I would simply become hard and stay that way. After it passed, I noticed a considerable difference in stamina (which I closely timed and tested over the course of a couple weeks) by simply relaxing my muscles while masturbating. I was unable to match this success during sex, but I found that I was able to hit the 20 minute mark (instead of the 2-3 minute mark) if I concentrated on simply allowing my erection to be hard on its own and doing the exact opposite with my muscles that I had been doing- almost a slight effort to urinate and dedicate.
I also did something I’ve never had to do before- I gave myself the equivalent of masturbation foreplay. I’ve always been able to just yank it out and be ready to go but I soon found that touching myself through my clothes at the start to allow myself to slowly build up to an erection over the course of several minutes was extremely helpful. This ultimately lead to much firmer erections and much less need to compensate. I was left to focus more on the act itself.
The benefit of doing this was the kind of orgasms I had almost completely forgotten about. The build up lasted for what seemed like 30 seconds and involved an unconscious clenching of every muscle in my body as well as (to my surprise) involuntary cursing as built up to the final event. The orgasm itself was the kind you would use to describe an end to all wars and left me with a peaceful glow that lasted for quite a while afterwards.
I’m not sure why this ended (perhaps I just became lazy- it’s not easy to get 45 uninterrupted minutes alone at this point in my life), but it was a month or so before I fell back into a routine of just masturbating casually over the course of 2-5 minutes.
I can’t remember what inspired me, but I think I was frustrated after a particularly quick session and decided to keep going without a break. It was uncomfortable and downright unpleasant for the first minute or two but I was able to keep going. Around the 5 minute mark I was enjoying myself again and this time around, it took much longer before I was done. When I did finish, it was a similar experience to what I had with the other technique- my body shook uncontrollably as I built up to the final release and unlike the “quickies” I had been doing before, this gave me a lasting glow and a sense of being relieved at last.
Although the volume was much more significant the first time around (as well as the force), the second round felt like the real thing. I can only describe the quick one offs as being like no longer having to use the restroom whereas the second round had that lasting feeling you’d have after waiting in a long car ride and finally making it to a restroom.
The future:
I still have several concerns and I’m nowhere near where the old self I want to be again. I’ve been off cold turkey for almost a year and I’m finally getting around to seeing some specialists to address this head on. I’ve seen small steps in progress that give me hope in at least a partial natural recovery down the road but I want to make sure I’m doing everything I can. Naturally, everyone here will be the first to know if anything works.
A few parting words for those reading this:
There are two techniques (one of which is at least somewhat applicable to sex) which have helped me a great deal, even if only for my own sense of fulfillment and hope. If anyone out there is suffering like I was, I’d encourage you to give them at least a shot.
- Masturbation foreplay: Don’t go straight into masturbating. Try working yourself up over the course of several minutes through your clothes until you have a solid erection. I found touching instead of the traditional back and forth “jerk” to be helpful.
Relaxed muscles around the waist: I found that when I was trying to compensate for an incomplete erection, I’d do a muscle contraction similar to trying to “hold it in” when waiting to use the bathroom (both number one and number two). Doing the exact opposite and relaxing those muscles to the point where I was almost ready to do the aforementioned activities seemed to help with endurance.
- Try going twice back to back: The second round was really uncomfortable at first (and quite difficult) but I eventually came around. I used lube to increase the experience on my end and to avoid chaffing. The end of the second round is hard to properly put into words.
Regarding depression and self image- even after all of this, I recently almost gave Rogaine a shot as my hair continues to fall out. You would be amazed at what a really good haircut can do (some of the best compliments I’ve gotten have actually been well into losing my hair) and you would really be amazed at the peace you feel when you just accept the idea of being bald. It has made a huge difference in my life and I really wish I had done it sooner. It’s no longer a death sentence for my sex life and my youth, it’s a new beginning to my adult life.
Best of luck to all of you out there and thank you for posting. This message board has helped a lot during those sleepless nights at the beginning.