No motivation is your motivation

I’m recovering some of my personality and basic functionality after over a decade. I no longer have to survive through life from memory but I took so long to heal that I lost the person that I was and I’ll never be him again. Save yourself my grief, push your body until you make the disorder your bitch. youtu.be/araU0fZj6oQ “It’s been a while since I could hold my head up high.”

Can you describe what makes you feel like recovering?

Sock Puppet :wink:

Emotions mostly. Not feeling completely cold and alone in the world and alienated from humanity. Not having terror and racing thoughts. Being able to smile and laugh, although rarely but it’s a world of difference to the hell before especially the first year or two of PFS. Being able to feel and enjoy the weather, somewhere along the way all 4 seasons became numb and very painful for me because I have low body temperature. Getting the feeling that women and sex are fun. Which makes me realize how long I’ve been sick that I forgot how to feel that way. Don’t get me wrong I can’t perform, I can’t recognize myself from the pre-PFS days but I can imagine fellow sufferers getting a girlfriend or keeping a wife in my current condition, lets say as a happy second-rate male. But what I was even 1 year ago, stuck in mean mood, almost soulless, unable to see anything but the shortcomings of females, and being unable to even feel anything when I touched a woman, I can’t imagine any girlfriend or wife sticking around for that. A complete recovery would be to wake up and feel like I did the week before i took fin. Specifically the energy, strength and confidence. That’s not what I have (yet) but I have been given a life again. It’s not my true life but it’s a life and it’s a lot more fun to control and exist in this situation than what I was enduring until recently while worrying about it being forever. It sure felt like it was permanent damage. You don’t need to recover completely all at once, so stop depressing yourself over that. You just need to get to a point that you can bare, where your brain can function and where the power is in your hands again, and after you reach that point you will easily, calmly take care of recovering the rest.

1 Like

Not to be a jerk or anything as I truly envy the ability that you have to smile and feel strong etc. I want that so bad right now…

But you say you can’t perform? Sexually that is correct? I mean- that’s huge in recovery if so I’d say.

Well that’s true even psychologically it’s important but it wasn’t my priority because I suffered complete derealization, depersonalization, total depression and loss of life/school/work competence, extreme anxiety and racing thoughts and impending sense of doom 24/7, crippling brain-fog which made doing daily activities like being in the middle of a snow blizzard, dried and thinning skin that cut from shaving or even scraping my arm against a wall, weight-loss from muscle atrophy and probably bone demineralization and shrinkage, body tremors and also cold shivers, joint injuries and slow healing cuts, awful non-human skunk-like body odor from my arm pits, face becoming Halloween-mask scary so going out in public was always a “treat”, and many more.

I meant I can’t perform the role of a man even in the flirting stage. I am barely strong enough to lift a woman, I feel awkward and my body literally forgot how to hump sometime in the last couple years so I feel like a brain-damaged fella relearning how to walk. I never thought some 20 years after puberty I would be in this position. I need to get some muscle back in my body and hopefully the virility will come back. I have no confidence in myself when I talk to or hold a woman for obvious reasons. PFS destroyed my energy and upper body strength and life goals to the point of making me feel shame for being an exhausted manboy while everyone else is an adult. Sexually I’m weaker and more fragile than I was, I hope to get positive results with this concept of the pelvic muscles being weak and overtaxed: viewtopic.php?f=30&t=5341&start=260 But I can see myself or other sufferers having a love-life in this mode, just not with most young women. I have the emotions of a loving human being again so I can connect with someone, that’s better than having no sexual dysfunction but feeling alienated from everyone.

At least you seem to be making serious progress man. Good luck.

Did you start some kind of protocol?

No protocol I just winged it. Found good results from fasting and getting sick which lifted some of the auto-immune problems of PFS. Yes the recoveries have been temporary and the pfs comes back in most cases but those brief moments of feeling like your old self again are priceless. And some of the symptoms that disappear during the temporary recovery stay away permanently.

I recovered last week

In 6 months I’ll be back with some results.

Practice this: Mental Sides - Conciously "Fix" your own brain It’s not easy you have to attempt it relentlessly for about a month until it starts to become more instinctual. When you experience a partial or full recovery your mentality has to be ready or your habits will drag you back into the physical symptoms you’ve had for years. It’s like shoveling snow off the road during a blizzard to move a yard only to get stuck again, it’s difficult but you need to just keep trying or you’re going to get engulfed.

did u water fast u mean u recovered just for the week?

It’s Monday so I’ve been recovered for less than a week, I don’t know how long it will hold. But I stayed up all of Saturday and Sunday making plans. I made some posts last night that angered the admin. My posts here were deleted and I got banned on SolvePFS by the same admin.

Water fasting is great but I’ve been lazy and haven’t been doing it recently, nor was I doing it when I had a temporary recovery last winter from getting sick. By all means experiment with it, it’s something that should be done when you first suffer acne or hairloss. You can actually grow a lot of strength with a dinner-only diet, when you’re healthy that is.

I’ve squandered too many opportunities to chase a solution because I had faith in the foundation. Now a few members on here and Solvepfs are putting their hopes on Ashton Kutcher. Don’t wait on that one… :skull_and_crossbones:

Those were the actions of separate moderators, and neither were me. I gave you a final warning regarding your unacceptable conduct here. You were suspended here by a moderator because you suggested violence towards him after he politely asked you to abstain from using offensive slurs.

Your post was deleted because you bizarrely claimed that the founder of this forum was possibly working for merck to kill the sufferers of PFS, and seemed to blame the existence of forums for both the intractability of a disease which is not yet sufficiently scientifically understood and your own personal psychological reaction, claiming that if it were not for finding this forum that you would have somehow found an unspecified cure. You included the following:

Other people in severe conditions have found this site a lifeline, and feel differently. Consider the contrasting view of a user posting last month named @ignite

PFS has taken a horrendous toll on many of us, but there is no excuse for your toxic posts and messages. This is your last warning. If you want to participate further in this community you will consider very carefully what you post, closely read our community rules with particular regard to this section about being civil. If you cannot accept the terms by which you participate here, you won’t be allowed to do so.

This forum has to be a respectable face of a very real medical problem, record the experiences of PFS and do everything we can for each other. No matter the faith, sexuality or lifestyle of those suffering from the lasting or post-treatment effects of these anti-androgenic substances, no matter if their lasting problems are mild or severe, and whether they are fortunate enough to recover or not they will be welcome here and offered the support of the community. This is all the more important now we are working hard to drive the issue forward, broaden the conversation and develop future projects for everyone suffering.