Got exactly that too, I got my worst PFS period while abroad for 2 years in a coooold country and when I came back home (a warm and sunny place near the mediterranean) I experienced exactly this, which tore my heart a litlle further.
And it’s not only home : even though Im not from there I know what you’re talking about when you mention NYC, I have spent some of the best months of my life there, everytime I would go back to NYC prior to fin I would feel absolutely amazing (something about this city and the people used to make me feel wide awake, excited, even more outgoing and ambitious) and when I got back there from Canada (post fin) I thought It would bring that positive side of my personality back, but it didnt, I couldnt feel connected with the amazing vibes I used to get from this city, and well it sucked big time.
I was pretty much depressed at that time though, introducing dopaminergics, vit d3, and more exercise 2 years ago made me feel better on every side of the mental front.
I’ve experienced the same thing. I believe it’s a byproduct of emotional blunting.
The mind’s eye is blind,
The heart’s core is empty,
The body’s senses, blunted,
The soul’s fire, stunted.
I know exactly what you’re referring to with this loss of smell and sensation. I used to love the smell and sensation of fall coming at the end of August. I could always feel it in the air and notice all of the amazing changes. Now I feel nothing. while I am glad my brain fog is gone. These feelings of sensation have never returned.
The loss of excitement for things that we used to love to do is even worse. The majority of my hobbies and passions are now something I don’t even think about. I think simply this what life is like with little to no androgen.
I’ve been going through this for a long time too. “Nothing feels ‘cool’ anymore” is the best way I can describe it. No more good feelings associated with warm Spring days, hot summer nights, crowded bars, holiday seasons, etc…
I’ve often wondered if this was the case or if it is something else. When I do have a brief return of this “cool” sensation it seems to coincide with an increase in sex drive and energy. I’m almost positive that there is a correlation between lowered response to androgens and this loss of emotions/sensations. Looking back I realized these feelings became very strong for me after going through puberty and are almost completely gone after experiencing the crash. I could be viewing the most beautiful thing you or I could imagine and barely give two shits. This sucks.
Yeah… got the same thing. I can’t even fucking cry.
i agree on what your are saying but my opinion is that we shouldnt dicuss this on here. if we continue to list reasons why this sucks its just gonna drag us down even more. i know this sucks guys and we could go on for days about why it sucks but i dont think that it will make it any better. i dont want to offend anyone but i think it would be better to not have posts like this.
doneat, I couldn’t disagree with you more. Not sharing these experiences is not going to make life better for any of us either. This is the hand we were dealt and we have to learn to live with it. Actually I feel we are worse off not discussing matters such as these.
Take this hypothetical example for instance: Someone reads this thread and remembers reading somewhere that some head trauma victims complain of “no longer having a sense of place”, alerts the forum to this link, and upon further investigation other members begin reporting that almost all people who have severe damage to the hippocampus or amygdala have the same loss of sense of place and often complain of blunted emotions. Then it is discovered that neuronal growth in the hippocampus is governed by androgen levels. This in turn leads several members to try supplementing hormones which utterly fails to alleviate the blunted emotional connection to one’s surroundings. In the meantime, the original group who began looking into why some head trauma victims have this symptom, realized that most people with hippocampal damage who supplement their diet with omega-3 fatty acids notice vast improvements in feeling an emotional connection to their surroundings. 1/3 of the forum members with this symptom begin supplementing with omega-3 capsules and almost all of them notice a reasonable improvement in this symptom within a couple weeks.
Things like that have happened already, and quite a few guys have been helped, all because members shared experiences about things that they are not particularly proud of or happy to discuss.
Emotional numbness blunting. I wonder for how many it’s still getting worse for instead of better.
It is really sad. All of the things I used to love, like travel, are pointless. Sitting alone in a dark room is only marginally different than being on a nice beach, skiing, sex, or walking streets in europe. I used to live for these things now I can’t even remember why.