I feel empty… i’m not me… its been 4 fucking years… i don’t remember myself… everything is empty. I don’t remember the people in my life they are almost like robots or dream characters. I constantly think about the most outlandish pointless things all day that are no longer based in a normal reality. Just the most fucked up things… like " maybe this is all a dream… maybe im an alien… am i real? My mental health is declining and my brain actually believes some of the thoughts that i think… and i have to constantly remind myself that things werent always like this and im not thinking correctly… I need a deep sleep…i havent had a relaxing sleep in years… but my brain won’t stop thinking… and when i do sleep it is such a light sleep and my brain continues to think…
Jeez I just read what I wrote and it sounds terrible…I am getting better in many areas… especially with the gym and energy wise. I have been working out a lot lately… and it has caused a lot of strange sensations to come up into my brain which I feel is my brain healing… I feel like this whole mental breakdown fiasco is a side effect of terrible sleep for years now. What can I do for sleep? I need a deep sleep… I have been taking Teas and natural herbs… but they don’t get me very deep… I tried alcohol and it actually was the deepest sleep… but i dont feel it is very healthy for me so i stopped. Anyone had any luck with anything natural?
Fuck this post. I Regret creating it. I won’t post back here until I have some more positive things to say. Sorry guys. This whole thing really fucking sucks and I had to bitch it out.
heyder ı dont understand. Nothıng. Are you ok? Im sorry for you really. I hope you wıll get better . I pray all of us.
No need to apologize. Most of us totally get it. Some days I feel optimistic and hopeful, and the other days it’s a good thing I don’t own a gun. My head is broken.
Im a mess… and I have a lot of difficulty being able to express it due to stubbornness as well as emotional blunting… So i have been holding everything in since i got poisoned 4 years ago. I am seeing a counsellor now which is helping… Thank you guys for understanding. I wish I had more positive things to say.
15 mg Remeron.
Heyder,
Your posts are entirely reasonable and expected. No need to apologize for laying it out there.
How long has it been since you stopped finasteride? I can’t tell if the ‘4 years’ includes the time you were being poisoned.
I’ve tried almost everything to recover and done a lot of experimenting.
Sleep is vital for generating GH(growth hormone)…
I take triple strength Melatonin and Allopregnanolone (Celtic Dreams), both will put me in a deep sleep every time.
For the depression; I tried many SSRI’s and only found partial or temporary relief. So I went natural.
I take EMPowerPlus from TrueHope daily, high quality Omega3 fish oil, Rhodiola, magnesium, zinc and many other supplements. But I found these to be helpful with depression.
The only time I get down or sad is when I think about missing my wife and children and my home. My wife filed for divorce last October, and falsely accused me of Domestic Violence so she could stay in the house and keep the kids. I would do anything to repair our relationship and go home again.
But Propecia and the effects are clearly the cause for the mess I’m in. The one person I had left, that I could count on to help me through this, my wife, threw in the towel.
So now I spend a lot of time at the gym, biking, hiking or walking the beach. And I go to Church 3 times a week and watch or listen to sermons at home or in the car. God is the only hope I have left, and keeping busy with exercise redirects my thoughts so I don’t dwell on PFS.
Hang in there. Stay active and seriously consider making a few changes in vitamins/supplements to assist with sleep and depression.
Yeah don’t sweat it mate, everyone feels like this on occassion. I was borderline suicidal about three weeks ago but have been very upbeat lately. Almost feeling like myself excluding libido.
Just have to take it one day at a time.
Here’s what I’ve been taking recently, some may help, some may not;
-Stresam
-Low dose Prozac (5mg)
-Minocycline
-Caffeine
By no means a cure as it hasn’t improved anything sexually, but I’ve been able to laugh the last couple of weeks, which is the first time in over a year since this happened.
It’s good to release this negative energy, I feel like this some days too, however I’m having more good days than bad these days.
Glad you are starting to feel a little better, may be the rx meds you are taking are slowing down sexual recovery?
Yeah that’s always a risk, ideally SSRIs are best avoided. However I’m taking such a low dose only 4 days a week for the allopreganolone benefits without the increase in serotonin, so I’m relatively safe.
Dannyfc- are you taking 2 mg of prozac? I always wanted to try that. The usual dose for depression is 20mg, and the 2mg is suppose to raise Allo and not have any affect on sexual sides
Yeah, I think at that dose it works similar to Etifoxine (Stresam). By stimulating the 3A-HSD enyzme it induces conversion of 5a-dihydroprogesterone to allopregnanolone.
Only thing is since this stage comes after 5-AR I it may not be effective if that hasn’t recovered from finasteride use. As I say it’s by no means a solution but it’s helped me cope with things lately.
It’s interesting how everything is interlinked, but makes it almost impossible to identify a root dysfunction.
Ok well good luck, keep us updated. Ihateprooecia made a full recovery and other than the usual bulkshit about diet and iron deficiency etc, I saw that he was on low dose prozac
Towm8er - yeah my girl left me too…fucking sucks…
its been 4 years of being poisened now… and i was on the stuff for 10 months or so prior to all this. it’s also been about 3 years since i’ve been with a woman… i stopped trusting and caring about ever having a relationship again after the breakup. i felt so betrayed and abandoned and because of emotional blunting my body stores so much emotional pain that i cannot access and feel through.
I got some trazadome but i am scared to try it… pharmaceuticals scare me now… the doc wanted me on ssri’s but i was much to scared to take them.
Are you seeing general improvement? What about sexual sides?
Yes I am getting better. I feel emotions more… and I feel they are getting deeper. My energy has improved as well. And I am learning to trust again… That was just a terrible time for me when i wrote this. I have good days and not so good days… but sleep is where i struggle the most.
Getting much better lately. Hanging out with females helps a shit load. And sticking up for yourself helps too. I was so spaced out before that i took everybodies shit and thought it was all my fault.