The last few weeks I’ve had a few gins on a Thursday evening to cut a break from this even if only for a few hours from what is becoming extremely tiring. My bone, muscle pain and general strength is getting worse and I feel sore just by touching any part of my skeleton even on my face. My brain function is also continuing to slowly decline. I was confused in traffic yesterday and then had a mental block in familiar surroundings and drove around aimlessly looking at road signs that I could no longer understand. It wasn’t as a consequence of the constant anxiety it was as though my brain function dropped another notch. For me this is what happens, I get a surge in the already constant symptoms and each time another piece is taken from me… Too last night i went to bed and initiated my relaxation, mindfulness and prayer strategies as normal. Unfortunately i immediately woke and was thrashing around in bed, with disorientation. My hands and feet felt locked, clawed and the bones in my face were very sore with a vice like pain on my skull. Because I’m so used to living with this I tried to forget about it and re engage my strategies despite also feeling nauseous. This happened 5 times during the night. I feel exhausted this morning and just don’t know anymore. To note tinnitus is out of the park which points to increased neuro inflammation and the pain across the nerves of my mouth are seering . In recent weeks I’ve also developed what looks like run marks on one side of my face under the skin. It feels like a wet cloth is being rubbed over the area… What’s that all about!!! This is on top of all of the usual stuff.
I’m not after sympathy or anything I will strive to get out of bed and push through another day for my own worth in the continued hope that God’s healing hand will start to do its work. Just sharing the new shit with the group incase anyone else has experienced this.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Hope it eases up soon. The tinnitus severity does seem to be a good indicator. Hang in there and please reach out if you want to talk. My best, buddy.
“The darker the night, the brighter the stars”
I’m saddened to hear this mate. All the best.
My best friend over the years lifes in an old lost places farm full of messi stuff in the last messi free room a former stable in the basement if the barn, surrounded by a wildered park. Over the last 15 years he went back on his own. He is totally alone. He learned to stay alone over the years. He stands up every morning and does his daily routine. Everything functions.
It’s like you. Not the messi farm!! It’s not his estate! 
I know over the years you have had a woman stay with you and there is your son, but for the rest you life for your own.
You have an established routine to suffer the pain of every symptom in the book. Your focused with discipline, to stand up and to come through the day for years without getting total insane.
So you’re stable in this ugly situation.
I have to learn from you and my best friend.
Prometheus is a brother in front of you. You’d better hurry up. I’m dying:joy: 
These bastards make me doubt the whole world. They consume our courage, but we must not underestimate our determination,