Low Dose Naltrexone is great for the depression and much safer than anti depressant drugs.
http://www.lowdosenaltrexone.org/index.htm#What_diseases_has_it_been_useful_for
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Things I have thought recently:
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Envying US sufferers of pfs as they have access to shotguns which gives the highest chance of successful suicide to lowest amount of pain ratio.
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Wishing I had cancer or AIDS rather than pfs. AIDS sufferers have treatment drugs and cancer, well you either get better or you eventually die. However, when you die, you do not leave your family with the shame and sadness that suicide would bring upon them. You can die with relative dignity and everyone will be sympathetic as they understand what cancer is.
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Because of the previous point, when in a ābetterā mental state (i.e not thinking of suicide all day but sufficiently distracting myself, hour to hour to get through the day) I have considered if there is a way to give myself cancer. Sunbeds everyday until skin cancer?
Itās like when you watch a movie and you see a character get themselves in a position where they know theyāre dead and canāt get out of it. Iām 99% sure this ends in suicide for me. I said to myself the last few weeks I owe it to myself to at least give it a year from the point when this began but I honestly donāt think I can make it that long. What a drug this is that it can kill you but keep you alive at the same time. Again, at least with cancer you actually die at the end of the suffering.
New symptom last few weeks are eye floaters. Donāt like to state a new symptom until itās been a few weeks and these are definitely getting worse. Just float past my vision most of the day.
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Hey Tzinkman
I am very sad to read your post, and that you have been hurt so bad by so few pills. Your words and thoughts could have been mine when I came off finasteride over 11 years ago, and crashed horribly (was on the drug for about a month). All I could think of was ending it all, and how to do so. I was 100% sure I was not going to make it to my next birthday. But for similar reasons to yours I tried to keep on going, just trying to endure the hell and let it go over me, often in tears. Since then, my suicidal depression turned into some kind of depressed anhedonia. I can work and function in daily life, even though itās not great as it used to be.
I am one of the founding members of the PFS Foundation, and have been an admin on this site for over 10 years. One of the things which keeps me going, is my hope and belief that there is a way out of this for us all. As said, my life was great before this happened, and I want it back. I will not give in to this nonsense until I die of a natural death, and still have a working brain. We, the admins and mods of this site, are working hard to find the path out of this maze, and so is the Foundation. Give us some time, and hang in there. I am confident there is some light appearing at the end of the tunnel. Also, never underestimate the healing powers of your body. Without doing anything, your body is likely to re-balance itself to a certain degree over time. Looking around on this site, you may find some suggestions that will help you, and our friendly and supportive community is there to help you as well.
Hang in there please, even though this may seem like an impossible request at the moment.
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Great post, Awor!
There seems to be a lot of stuff going on in the background. Maybe it would be helpful to let people know how we can help with these efforts. Surely, with more resources we could do more. Donating to the Foundation is the obvious thing and I can only encourage everyone to do so. What else can we do?
Thanks again for all your efforts!
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I promise youāll be able to help in the near future, and it wonāt even cost a cent. Stay tuned. 
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That sounds really good news 
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Sounds like new studie(s) in the pipelineā¦
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Shit is getting real.
Accutaner here. Know that we are in this together. Propecia, Accutane, SSRI. We are close. And there is background activity.
Donāt do anything daft. Keep going and letās win this together, man.
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Using this thread to document.
Iām experiencing a misery inhuman in its intensity. I feel so bad I feel like Iām going to PUKE. Nausea sits at the back of my throat when itās at its worst.
Suicide isnāt a guaranteed way out, a lot of people fail when they attempt it and end up in worse pain than before. Thereās no sure way to commit suicide.
Itās really not worth it to even try it.
I know, thatās what scares me. I donāt even want to die but this mental pain is so hard, it often becomes intolerable.
If you feel really that bad I cant believe you dont even try some things. When i was at my worst 2 years ago i couldnt accept the situation and ordered progesterone cream and tribulus.
Dont sit on your ass all day and cry. Do something to get better.
If you are really suicidal you would try stuff and take risks.
Yeah I assumed you knew a little bit about it when you stated the shotgun fact. But nobody really knows which part of the brain to hit and shooting it yourself is just asking for trouble, you could end up in the hospital alive with a hole in your head in agony. Short of asking someone to shoot you a few times, which nobody would agree to, this option is a definite no.
Assisted suicide is a joke too, doctors have no idea how much fentanyl to give you, they think a certain dose is lethal but you have no way knowing if youāre gonna throw it up before you die. Again you could easily end up in the hospital with damaged organs.
Do you think Iād do a ten day water fast for the fun of it? I havenāt sat on my ass. Iām doing a comprehensive parasitology stool test though I doubt it will reveal anything. Unless someone can point out something which successfully treats this shocking depression and anhedonia. Does progesterone and tribulus help with that? Mirtazepine isnāt helping though it is mercifully allowing for eight hours sleep at least.
Also, because my symptoms are so wide ranging and severe, trying some things might put me in an even worse position. I am desperately trying to hold on here.
Prog and tribulus safed my life. It doesnt work for everyone, but if youre a bit lucky it could increase your baseline from 0 to 50% within weeks. I was at 0. Had nothing to lose.
If you want details thereās a thread here about progesterone.
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From which city are you Invictus? im german too
Can you tell me how you rate your situation before and after the water fast, and what changed during and after? Thanks.
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Hi Tzinkman,
Extremely sorry to hear how bad of a position you are in right now.
Know that no one who is responding to you is exaggerating the number/rate of people with PFS who recover to a more tolerable state of existence within the first 6 months-year after crashing. Iāve been reading the stories of people with this condition for nearly 8 years now, and it is almost unanimous that a partial recovery happens in the first year. Itās more than simply getting accustomed to the changes. Our brains and bodies must adjust to compensate for what we lost, to some degree.
Please do whatever it takes to survive for the first year at least, by any means necessary.
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From then until now
In the period since then to now, Iāve had the crazy period where the room was slanting and it was mentally painful all day long to even be alive. During that period I started this thread and went on mirtazepine. Iām happy to say that the slanted room stuff has abated for the most part, Iām sleeping 8 hours uninterrupted most nights and Iāve regained a lot of the lost weight.
Crucially, I generally no longer get the head pressure/swelling after eating now.
In retrospect
As I started the fast during the first four weeks following cessation of the drug, Itās difficult to say how useful it was as some of the improvements could be attributed to the āDHT coming back onlineā that is said to happen anyway following discontinuation. I distinctly remember going through a puberty-like stage where I was almost hyper sexual, briefly, and my penis was hanging full when flaccid and was becoming erect without much provocation. I can say with certainty that it helped with the brain pressure and fog, naturally, as that was exacerbated by eating. I think it helped with depression also by giving me something to focus on but itās very difficult to say if the fast itself was lifting depression.
Youāll notice a quite optimistic tone throughout some of the post fast period. A lot of that is due in part to my penis starting to work again. See, I thought that was the hardest part of pfs to recover from. I thought almost all people with pfs experience it the same way. I heard that the mental sides are the first to improve from. Because I could get an erection again, I assumed I would recover fairly quickly in the brain too. I still felt as though I had been hit around the head with a baseball bat, couldnāt play most video games and had vertigo type symptoms. But the fatigue had somehow lifted to the point I was able to go to the gym again and lift weights and I was focused on doing that plus eating organic chicken bone broths and generally trying to remain positive as I was still going through it not knowing what to expect, what was normal even within the scope of what pfs can be, if I would return to normal within 3 months of discontinuation of the drug (as some of the literature Iāve seen claims). At one point though, it dawned on me how really thereād been no change in how I was experiencing reality. My brain has been changed very profoundly and itās almost impossible to describe it to somebody who has not experienced it.
tl;dr Summary
Situation before the fast was critically bad as it was the first ten days of pfs. During the fast I improved mentally, naturally, as eating was causing intense brain fog. The re-feed was probably the best period as I discovered I could get erections again and my fatigue lifted to the point I could go to the gym. However, since then, my penis has degraded more when flaccid, my fatigue has returned to a terrible degree and the depression has returned. Itās hard to attribute positive and negative things to the fast as it was done during the 30 days post cessation of the drug when negative symptoms are supposed to improve anyway. Itās possible it may have harmed me to only drink water during the initial crash period. However, It felt like it improved me enough at the time to the point where Iād consider fasting again at some point. If I do fast again, I will try to do 21 days.
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Fasting lowers androgens significantly, thats why it helped.
Instead of starving yourself to death and loosing all your muscles i would try progesterone cream or zinc to lower androgens again.
@milando: Hamburg.
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