Hey man, sorry your post yesterday was lost due to having to revert to a slightly earlier backup. Do repost if you have it or update if you need to get your feelings out, it’s very important to document, especially for those of us hit so bad by this. Just wanted to say hang in there again. What you’re going through (literal hell) cognitively will improve in clarity terms, and I’m not giving up on a fellow dark souls fan 
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It’s summer so get lots of sun. Raise your body temperature during the day and keep your room cool when you sleep.
Feel so dead, it’s unimaginable how approximately 1mg of a drug that is essentially over the counter in the UK can do this to a person. It gets to where I’m scared to go to bed because I know I have to wake up and do the whole thing over again. Honestly, the way I feel now, I have no idea how some guys did this for years without giving in to suicide.
This guy had bad pfs: http://www.postfinasteriderecoveries.com/
and he said he recovered! Only problem is it took him seven years. His story gives me hope that all this is reversible but seven years is a very long time when you feel the way I do.
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Low Dose Naltrexone is great for the depression and much safer than anti depressant drugs.
http://www.lowdosenaltrexone.org/index.htm#What_diseases_has_it_been_useful_for
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Things I have thought recently:
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Envying US sufferers of pfs as they have access to shotguns which gives the highest chance of successful suicide to lowest amount of pain ratio.
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Wishing I had cancer or AIDS rather than pfs. AIDS sufferers have treatment drugs and cancer, well you either get better or you eventually die. However, when you die, you do not leave your family with the shame and sadness that suicide would bring upon them. You can die with relative dignity and everyone will be sympathetic as they understand what cancer is.
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Because of the previous point, when in a “better” mental state (i.e not thinking of suicide all day but sufficiently distracting myself, hour to hour to get through the day) I have considered if there is a way to give myself cancer. Sunbeds everyday until skin cancer?
It’s like when you watch a movie and you see a character get themselves in a position where they know they’re dead and can’t get out of it. I’m 99% sure this ends in suicide for me. I said to myself the last few weeks I owe it to myself to at least give it a year from the point when this began but I honestly don’t think I can make it that long. What a drug this is that it can kill you but keep you alive at the same time. Again, at least with cancer you actually die at the end of the suffering.
New symptom last few weeks are eye floaters. Don’t like to state a new symptom until it’s been a few weeks and these are definitely getting worse. Just float past my vision most of the day.
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Hey Tzinkman
I am very sad to read your post, and that you have been hurt so bad by so few pills. Your words and thoughts could have been mine when I came off finasteride over 11 years ago, and crashed horribly (was on the drug for about a month). All I could think of was ending it all, and how to do so. I was 100% sure I was not going to make it to my next birthday. But for similar reasons to yours I tried to keep on going, just trying to endure the hell and let it go over me, often in tears. Since then, my suicidal depression turned into some kind of depressed anhedonia. I can work and function in daily life, even though it’s not great as it used to be.
I am one of the founding members of the PFS Foundation, and have been an admin on this site for over 10 years. One of the things which keeps me going, is my hope and belief that there is a way out of this for us all. As said, my life was great before this happened, and I want it back. I will not give in to this nonsense until I die of a natural death, and still have a working brain. We, the admins and mods of this site, are working hard to find the path out of this maze, and so is the Foundation. Give us some time, and hang in there. I am confident there is some light appearing at the end of the tunnel. Also, never underestimate the healing powers of your body. Without doing anything, your body is likely to re-balance itself to a certain degree over time. Looking around on this site, you may find some suggestions that will help you, and our friendly and supportive community is there to help you as well.
Hang in there please, even though this may seem like an impossible request at the moment.
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Great post, Awor!
There seems to be a lot of stuff going on in the background. Maybe it would be helpful to let people know how we can help with these efforts. Surely, with more resources we could do more. Donating to the Foundation is the obvious thing and I can only encourage everyone to do so. What else can we do?
Thanks again for all your efforts!
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I promise you’ll be able to help in the near future, and it won’t even cost a cent. Stay tuned. 
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That sounds really good news 
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Sounds like new studie(s) in the pipeline…
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Shit is getting real.
Accutaner here. Know that we are in this together. Propecia, Accutane, SSRI. We are close. And there is background activity.
Don’t do anything daft. Keep going and let’s win this together, man.
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Using this thread to document.
I’m experiencing a misery inhuman in its intensity. I feel so bad I feel like I’m going to PUKE. Nausea sits at the back of my throat when it’s at its worst.
Suicide isn’t a guaranteed way out, a lot of people fail when they attempt it and end up in worse pain than before. There’s no sure way to commit suicide.
It’s really not worth it to even try it.
I know, that’s what scares me. I don’t even want to die but this mental pain is so hard, it often becomes intolerable.
If you feel really that bad I cant believe you dont even try some things. When i was at my worst 2 years ago i couldnt accept the situation and ordered progesterone cream and tribulus.
Dont sit on your ass all day and cry. Do something to get better.
If you are really suicidal you would try stuff and take risks.
Yeah I assumed you knew a little bit about it when you stated the shotgun fact. But nobody really knows which part of the brain to hit and shooting it yourself is just asking for trouble, you could end up in the hospital alive with a hole in your head in agony. Short of asking someone to shoot you a few times, which nobody would agree to, this option is a definite no.
Assisted suicide is a joke too, doctors have no idea how much fentanyl to give you, they think a certain dose is lethal but you have no way knowing if you’re gonna throw it up before you die. Again you could easily end up in the hospital with damaged organs.
Do you think I’d do a ten day water fast for the fun of it? I haven’t sat on my ass. I’m doing a comprehensive parasitology stool test though I doubt it will reveal anything. Unless someone can point out something which successfully treats this shocking depression and anhedonia. Does progesterone and tribulus help with that? Mirtazepine isn’t helping though it is mercifully allowing for eight hours sleep at least.
Also, because my symptoms are so wide ranging and severe, trying some things might put me in an even worse position. I am desperately trying to hold on here.
Prog and tribulus safed my life. It doesnt work for everyone, but if youre a bit lucky it could increase your baseline from 0 to 50% within weeks. I was at 0. Had nothing to lose.
If you want details there’s a thread here about progesterone.
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From which city are you Invictus? im german too
Can you tell me how you rate your situation before and after the water fast, and what changed during and after? Thanks.
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