Update: Saturday 9th March 2013
I was taken to A&E on Tuesday 5th March by a friend as I had become completely despondent and could only talk about suicidal desires.
I told the doctors that I must have damaged my brain from Finasteride use. They ran some tests: ECG, blood, urine.
My body temperature was rapidly changing and the doctors were concerned at how quickly my hands would switch from boiling and veiny to freezing and purple. I was sporadically shivering and had these weird leg spasms which seemed to emanate from my groin. My perineum was experiencing a constant dull throbbing.
Several hours later I was assessed by a psychiatrist, she informed my friend and I that my tests were normal ( I didn’t get the results and was not in the state of mind to ask for them) and that after conferring with the doctors, she had deemed my suicidal ideation a reaction to the effects of a ‘neuro-steroid’. And that I would need ‘will power’ to see it through.
She prescribed some Diazepam and Zopiclone. Unfortunately, the Diazepam did nothing. I was relieved when the Zopiclone kicked in.
Over the last few days my physical state has declined as follows.
- Loss of sensation in: penis, urethra, testicles, perineum and anus.
- No spontaneous, nocturnal, or morning erections.
- Dull sensation in skin
- Further loss of sensation in eyeballs ( can touch them easily and not react, before they were extremely sensitive)
- Loss of tingle sensation up and down spine (various methods of initiation)
My system must be really weak. This drug has totally destroyed me. There is no way I can work, let alone exist like this.
The effects on my brain are by far the worst for me. I have all possible cognitive symptoms. I am an empty shell of a human.
I have only just returned home from my friend’s place. I cannot shake the suicidal ideation. It is a permanent fixture now.
I think Fin has completely killed the mechanism for producing 5α-reductase in me, taking my GABA and Serotonin receptors along with it. I have truly lost my mind.
I have an upcoming appointment with Dr. Pierre-Marc Bouloux. My only goal is to survive until this consultation.
But I honestly don’t think I can handle this. I don’t have the will power like the rest of you, my cognitive symptoms are too severe.
This really is hell.