Guys
How many of you can relate to this?
From the second I awake I feel compelled with doom like a dark cloud hanging over me with the dread of another day in this PFS existence.
Most mornings I just wish I didn’t have to wake, just pray I could stay sleeping and be taken up to heaven without images or thoughts of having to end things myself.
Every day is the same as the one before and does not get any better, only worse.
My fear is that I will follow through with the mental images I see in my head each morning just before I open my eyes and my fear is real because I feel one day, maybe once out of the mental home, if not before, that I shall be gone from this pain and misery that has been placed upon me from this god forsaken pill!!!
I’m sure many of you can relate to my post and I try to fight every day to stay alive and block out bad thoughts and images but I’m sinking and never did I ever think I would feel this way in my life time, still as depressing is the impotence that has remained for 4 months now.
Pelvic prostate pain, stomach pain, penile shrinkage, the whole works!!!
Life is just too much at present and cannot see a future beyond today.
I pray to god if my days comes soon that I shall be forgiven for taking matters into my own hands snd for forgiveness from my family too, who I love very much.
What is life without feelings, what is life without real love, what is life living numb, what is life as half a man, what is life with no enjoyment, what is life with no job, what is life seeing others happy and in love, what is life???