My very confusing story.

  1. Where are you from (country)? USA

  2. How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)
    Google Search: Can finasteride make you feel more feminine?

  3. What is your current age, height, weight?
    24; 165; 5’9"

  4. Do you excercise regularly? If so, what type of excercise?
    yes, heavy weights

  5. What type of diet do you eat (vegetarian, meat eater, raw, fast-food/organic healthy)?
    organic/healthy

  6. Why did you take Finasteride (hair loss, BPH, other)?
    hair loss

  7. For how long did you take Finasteride (weeks/months/years)?
    2 years

  8. How old were you, and WHEN (date) did you start Finasteride?
    22; feb 1st, 2012

  9. How old were you when you quit, and WHEN (date) did you quit?
    24; feb 1st, 2014

  10. How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?
    cold turkey

  11. What type of Finasteride did you use – Propecia, Proscar, Fincar or other generic?
    generic

  12. What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?
    1 mg/day

  13. How long into your use of Finasteride did you notice the onset of side effects?
    unsure

  14. What side effects did you experience while on the drug that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?
    all
    Put an X beside all that apply:

Sexual
[ ] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[ ] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence
[ ] Loss of Morning Erections
[ ] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[ ] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[x ] Watery Ejaculate
[ ] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[x ] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[x ] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[x ] Confusion
[x ] Memory Loss / Forgetfullness
[x ] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[ ] Slurring of Speech
[x ] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[x ] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[x ] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[x ] Suicidal Thoughts

Physical
[ ] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[x ] Testicular Pain
[ x] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[ ] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ x] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[ ] Muscle Weakness
[x ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[x ] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[x ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[x ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[ ] Increased hair loss
[x ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature

[ ] Other (please explain)

  1. What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?
    change in diet, working out constantly, therapu

  2. If you have pre or post-Finasteride bloodtests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (pls post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?n/a

  3. Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience with Finasteride?
    see below

  4. Tell us your story, in your own words, about your Finasteride usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.

Okay, here goes.
My story is really strange and winding and a lot more confusing than what appears to affect most of the average straight dudes that find themselves on this forum.

I’ve always been a really feminine kid.
I have masculine traits/activities, too, but I definitely played better with the girls.
When I was 15, I came out as gay (though, bisexual with a heavy preference for men is more accurate).
I lived this way for a while, and I feel like I was becoming more and more confident.
But I did struggle through some serious periods of anxiety and depression.
I finally went to college in a big city and felt like I was becoming more confident. I made jokes about/reclaimed my femininity, while simultaneously becoming more assertive. My voice was dropping pretty steadily, but that strange, elusive “gay accent” (my Australian friends’ words) seemed to stick. Whatever, right?
When I was 21, I noticed I was losing my hair.
I went to the Doctor and she prescribed Propecia.
The first couple of months were fine, but I had some extreme skin itching and irritation. After seeing two Dermatologists, I decided to quit Propecia to see if the skin irritation would wear off.
The itching stopped but I also moved out of a strange apartment around the same time, so I wasn’t sure if quitting Propecia or moving caused the itching to stop.
I went back on Propecia, out of fear of losing my hair.

I started working in a gay bar in the city I was living in, was taking Propecia, and chalked any gender fluidity up to the hyper-liberal scene of which I was a part or just the fact that I’m a loud and proud queer. Around this time, though, I started to question my gender identity - not in a profound, sort of “aha” way, but I noticed I was thinking about gender, femininity, and those issues constantly. This is especially confusing when you’re already a queer, gay dude. I also started to feel extremely depressed, anxious, panicky, exhausted, confused, and lost a lot of focus. I found it difficult to do anything other than go to work and sleep. My vision also blurred, which was new for me (I had perfect vision beforehand), and had to get glasses. I went on anti-depressants, Lexapro, and it seemed to help the highs and lows, but exacerbated the numbing effect. I gained a lot of weight at this time, especially in my thighs and ass. My sides also began to dip in like they never have before.

My confusion, anxiety, and depression continued to get worse. I chalked it up to a bad lifestyle and drinking too much. I left the city and plotted a course to get healthier. I started eating better, working out hard, and seeking therapy. At this point, I was not thinking about propecia as a means of concern. Thinking about gender was still a constant problem, though. Strangely, I started to become more attracted to women but also thought about being a woman. I go through days of thinking I’m a lesbian transwoman, an extremely insecure straight guy, and then back to just plain old gay. My focus and motivation are totally gone. Despite meditation, therapy, mindfulness techniques and exercise, I continue to have massive anxiety and depression. My brain, also, feels congested, achy? I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. My hair looks great. That isn’t sarcastic, the drug really did what it intended. Be careful what you wish for, eh?

I decided to see a gender therapist and was actually considering transitioning. I don’t think I have/have ever had a distaste for my male body, I just feel like if all I’m going to think about all day is gender - idk, I should do something, right? I’m not functioning as a human!
And then I remembered that silly Anderson Cooper video about the transwoman and propecia and decided to do some googling.
And that’s how I found this forum.

My confusion lies in the fact that, as I’ve stated, I have always been quite femme.
I don’t know if this age I’m in is one where issues of gender, sexuality, and the like are especially heightened - especially for someone with my biography who was repeatedly called a “Faggot.” I don’t know if anything I’m going through -has anything to do with- propecia at all, but it seems very strange to me that there are entire forums dedicated to feminization and hormonal shifts while on finasteride.
Up until taking propecia, I was -okay- with being just not that masculine of a dude. At least, as okay with that as you can be.
If anything I wanted to be more masculine, not become a woman.

Reading about the other mental side effects, the dulling, the depression, the confusion and anxiety, is also really striking to me.
My penis seems the same as usual. If anything my sexual drive increased when I started taking propecia (I noted that because dysfunction was the major concern when it was prescribed). However, recently, I’ve noticed that my penis, while the same length and girth as before, appears to almost pull into my body a little bit? This is the strangest part - thinking about transitioning in this obsessive way but having no problem with your penis? like, what? I thought transwomen hated their penis?

Maybe I really am a transwoman?
Maybe I’m just gay and insecure about my masculinity?
Maybe propecia is seriously fucking my head up?
I feel like I’m going crazy.

Thanks,
J

Are you still on the drug?

no, but haven’t been off for very long and only really see a reduction in anxiety since i’ve been off.

Hi there J

I’ve just read your profile. It’s a very difficult question to answer when there are still so many questions and unknown variables around finasteride, although having been on this site a while and read about the length and breadth of impact that this drug can have, including stories not dissimilar to your own, I would tend to put it down to you having taken propecia. It sounds like you knew exactly who you were prior to taking this drug and these new thoughts have an uncanny similarity to others who have taken it. As you say, I think that transgendered individuals usually feel that way from a very early age and I think that they don’t really feel comfortable in and identify with the bodies they were born in, which sounds like it doesn’t match your own experiences. Unfortunately it sounds like propecia in whatever way has caused this change in how you identify yourself, although that doesn’t help you any. Maybe by more firmly acknowledging the possibility that propecia has caused this will help with the confusion and uncertainty somewhat. One problem however would be the medical establishment believing that this is possible.