My story - 2 months

Member Stories
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#1

Welcome to our community. Please fill in the following template as a way of introducing yourself, and helping others to understand your background and situation.

Where are you from (country)?
Australia

How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)
Google search

What is your current age, height, weight?
20, 5’10, 60kg

What specific drug did you use (finasteride, dutasteride, saw palmetto, isotretinoin/Accutane, fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, leuprorelin, etc…)?
finasteride

What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?
4 * 1.25mg (daily)

What condition was being treated with the drug?
MPB

For how long did you take the drug (weeks/months/years)?
4 days

Date when you started the drug?
November 2023

Date when you quit the drug?
November 2023

Age when you quit?
20

How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?
Cold turkey

How long into your usage did you notice the onset of side effects?
2 days

What side effects did you experience that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?

Check the boxes that apply. You can save your post first, then interactively check/uncheck the boxes by clicking on them. If your symptoms change, please update your list.

Sexual
[1/2 ] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X ] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence
[1/2 ] Loss of Morning Erections
[X ] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[X ] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[ ] Watery Ejaculate
[X ] Reduced Ejaculate
[X ] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[X ] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[X ] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[ ] Confusion
[ ] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
[ ] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[ ] Slurring of Speech
[X ] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[X ] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[X ] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[X ] Suicidal Thoughts

Physical
[ ] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[ ] Testicular Pain
[ ] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[ ] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[ ] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[ X] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[ ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[ ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[ 1/4] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
[ ] Hearing loss
[ ] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature

[X ] Other (please explain)
Some eye floaters when outside in the sun, MAJOR mood swings

What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?

If you have pre or post-drug blood tests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (please post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?

Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience?

Tell us your story, in your own words, about your usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.

I have having some hair loss during the beginning of 2023. Dermatologist did warn me about finasteride, and told to wait till I was atleast 20 to take it. After a decent amount of research through all the popular youtube channels that said PFS is almost non existing, and going through the medical documents as well, I decided that it was worth it. After I started, I noticed my penis was slightly numb on the second day. Thought is was nocebo, but by the 4th day definitely noticed it was getting worse. So I stopped it. Then for a week things returned to normal. BUT I was having mood swings daily. One day I felt better than normal, the next day I had alot of anixety (I have a history of depression).

End of the week noticed my penis becoming numb again, and then boom I crashed at night. It was horrible. I felt like some chemical in my brain was missing and my brain was in alert mode. I couldn’t sleep even for an hour for 2 days, dick stopped working completely, had to urinate often, eyes became dry, digestive problems, etc(all usual extreme symptoms). I took melatonin after that, which made things slightly better for sleep. Then after 4 days, I ‘felt’ the chemical coming back and I felt like I was recovering. Then for the next 4 days I slowly got better and better and even my erections became completely normal. During those 4 days I made sure to do a FODMAP diet cause carbs seem to make it worse for me. But sadly after the 4 days, I thought I was completely back to normal and then I had 4 slices of bread and went back to minoxidil. During that day symptoms slowly crept back, and at night I was feeling shit so I thought of going to the gym, once I came back, my symptoms were as bad as the first day. Next day morning I felt ok. Around 70% of the worst (only the mental and ED was there) but ED wasn’t the worst.

But the thing that bothers me the most is the mood swings. On the same day mentally I’d go slightly ok to horrible like 3 times, and it seemed random. It has been like this for 7 weeks now and the same pattern continues. However I seem to be deteriorating mentally even more. Yesterday had my worst mood swing, and felt completely suicidal. However I brain calmed down that night, and now I’m somewhat stable.

Things I noticed during the 7 weeks:

Almost everyday for an hour I did feel mentally ‘normal’ but its brief, and seems to be reducing in frequency. Did have few days where mentally I felt ‘normal’ for like 4 hours

Gym seems to make me crash badly

I have bad reaction to gluten and sugar (can have a little bit of carbs)

Fatigue has been increasing. Even jogging and playing light basketball started to cause me to have small crashes.

My palms have become noticeably more wrinkled. And eye floaters started to appear. My knees feel slightly weaker as well. I get tinnitus at night sometimes.

I try to masturbate 1-2 a week now, which doesn’t cause any problems (I only do it for blood flow, I don’t have any libido). Erections take time to come, require stimulation and are much weaker, and orgasms are kind of mute. (I used to masturbate alot).

Even though these are all pretty bad symptoms, my main concern is the mood swings. Has anyone had a similar experience in terms of daily mood swings, and does it improve over time or get worse?

Self-reporting template - ONLY USE FOR FUTURE POSTS TO REPORT ANY TRIALS OF TREATMENTS, NOT YOUR INITIAL MEMBER STORY

  1. Name of the therapy/substance:
    • Dosage:
    • How often you took it:
  2. Status
    • Still using [ ]
    • Stopped with no lasting change to initial symptoms [ ]
    • Stopped with persistent change to symptoms [ ]
  3. Duration of use: Days [ ] Months [ ] Years [ ]
  4. Response when you started:
    • Greatly improved [ ]
    • Slightly improved [ ]
    • Stayed the same [ ]
    • Slightly worsened [ ]
    • Greatly worsened [ ]
  5. Current response (if you’re still using the therapy/substance) OR Response in the time before you stopped the treatment
    • Greatly improved [ ]
    • Slightly improved [ ]
    • Stayed the same [ ]
    • Slightly worsened [ ]
    • Greatly worsened [ ]
  6. Lasting changes to initial symptoms after cessation (if you have stopped for more than 3 weeks)
    • Greatly improved [ ]
    • Slightly improved [ ]
    • Stayed the same [ ]
    • Slightly worsened [ ]
    • Greatly worsened [ ]
#2

Its been only 3 days since that post. I stopped doing cardio and basketball completely as it seemed to make me have light ‘crashes’. I also started having only 1 meal per day (breakfast). I try to go for walks in the sun for at least 1.5 hours per day (mentally makes an improvement).

However, last night I feel I had a pretty bad crash. Literally don’t know what triggered it (maybe sudden change in my routine?). But I felt my whole body feel ‘cool’ and ‘light’ in a weird way. And after a long time I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Mainly due to this ‘cooling’ feeling. Felt as if muscle atrophy is starting (maybe just overthinking). In the morning felt mentally bad. After having late lunch felt abit better, and now in the evening feel back to the ‘baseline’. Not sure what my baseline is cause my mental symptoms keeps fluctuating so often.
Going to discuss my case with one of my family members today just so she can help me navigate what will happen to university.

Has anyone else had a high intolerance to any sort of physical activity? For the first few weeks of getting PFS I was able to play basketball intensely and do cardio intensely. Now even a short jog seems to negatively impact me mentally.

Quality of life 2/10

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#3

Hey guys its been only 5 days, but since I’m in my early days I believe its fair that I share my experience. The day I had the bad crash, I realized I couldn’t sleep. Next day my mental state was horrible 0/10. I told my cousin sister the whole story, and told my parents a brief explanation on what happened (I didn’t tell them this could be permanent or worsen). They are very supportive in helping me be more comfortable (even though they think its all my my head).

Since that day mental state came to around 3/10 (if 10 is normal). Suicidal thoughts are becoming more frequent tho, since I guess the brain fog is pretty bad and I can’t focus properly on tasks. From what I’ve read and noticed by 2 months if haven’t seen any gradual improvements in mental symptoms, this could be as good as it gets. All I want is this to get better. I’m ok with reduced sexual function and physical issues. Although there were like 2 cases similar to mine where they started to improve slowly after 3-4 months.

Mood swings seem to come on less often but my ‘baseline’ is pretty shit. Trying to keep my mind occupied with some video games, youtube and walking. I’ve started playing basketball lightly again, and this seems to temporarily improve my mood during and after the game for around 2-3 hours. Eating heavy meal also seems to temporarily improve mood. This could be due to slight dopamine and endorphin boost.

Last night had about 3 hours where my brain was able to function well with no brain fog.

In terms off physical changes, eye floaters are still there but they are not bad, and I feel like they won’t get worse. Also the collagen loss seems to have stopped. Even though my palms are still wrinkly, they haven’t worsened. Also tinnitus seems to have stopped, this seems correlated with my physical activities.

My body hair, specially my arm hair looks like it has gotten thinner (100% has). I am a relatively skinny guy, but I don’t believe I have any muscle atrophy. Although I noticed this usually comes later on.

My head hair hasn’t fallen at all (I got my one wish, almost like I cursed my self due to my vanity). Funny thing is I was already in the acceptance stage of me balding before I took this. I was like if this didn’t work I’ll be fine going bald.

I’m having all the signs of low DHT -> no hair loss and less body hair, slow beard growth. Is it worth checking out my hormones? Since its been 2 months I know serum hormones would have become normal.

Also began to become more religious. I was always an advocate for science, and trusted it. But it has failed me dramatically. I believe this is a big test from god, even though I don’t know why I deserve this.

Anyone got better after the 2 - 3 month mark. Beginning to lose hope :frowning:

Quality of life is 3/10 here

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#4

Guys I’m mentally deteriorating quite a lot. Last month I was able to atleast work a few days a week. Now I can’t even do my laundry or get a hair cut or even cook simple meals. I’m finding it very difficult to socialize or even talk to my family.

Today is officially month 2, and from the trend it seems that I’m going to get worse or be stuck in this horrible baseline.
I don’t care about ED or having a relationship, I just want to be able to function and socialize even abit.

Idk whether I should try AD. Because I took them when I was younger and they helped me a lot.

Other than that, I only see one other way out. I’ll try to hold it out for long as I can, but the fight is becoming harder and harder. I thought it gets easier with time. Dying is better than being completely useless human being, disappointment to my family, and having to suffer everyday. The only time where I feel like I’m getting a break from hell is when I’m asleep. Thank god I don’t have insomnia.

I had a good life to say the least. I had an amazing long term relationship before this mess happened. Had great friends, amazing family and lots of good experience.
From what I’ve seen most people here don’t improve and just deteriorate. Some do improve but they see a gradual trend atleast from the start.

#5

Sorry for replying so often, its just that venting helps me abit I guess. Today was similar to the day I got a haircut. I had to move into a new apartment (which my mom took care of), and all I did was go there look at the place, introduced my self to my room mate, and showed the place around to my parents through a video call. Thats all I was able to do today. I slept the rest of day, too much fatigue. I tried to go for a walk for abit, but it was too tiring. My brain felt weird the entire day, felt all the chemicals were changing or something. Found it difficult to rest in the evening. I can only sleep at night.

HOWEVER, today night I got … BAD eye floaters on my right eye. yay! Even looking at my screen, theres, its like covered with black lines all over. Before this, I only got some light eye floater when I was outside in the sun.

I don’t think I can carry on like this for much longer, but I’ll keep trying. Was imagining by month 2, I would’ve adapted and able to work part time atleast. Nahh, I’ve regressed even more.

Ok guys, I will try update less often. Maybe if some thing major happens, or on my 3 month mark.

My quality of life is a 2/10 here

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#6

I’m at the end of month 4. Months 2-3 were the worst for me mentally, so much brain fog and anhedonia. I think what helped me was opening up to friends and family, along with therapy. I started taking Wellbutrin and it might be helping. At least I haven’t noticed anything bad.

Sleep is definitely the most important thing though.

But yeah, month 4 has been better mentally. Brain fog has been gone. I get good moods sometimes. I don’t really feel them emotionally, but I find myself smiling and having more energy.

#7

Wow that’s good to hear man. But I think I might be a worse case tbh. I can barely leave my room and only do so to get food. Spending time with friends and family is too much for me, but I did try. There’s so much pain in my brain fog when I try socialize. Some days I can, but most days I feel horrible. I’ll slowly eventually introduce exercise back again but rn I would crash on it.

Only some people see improvements down the line, but thanks for the hope, I’ll see how I feel in 2 months. I did open up to my family partially, and they were very supportive. I was thinking on trying AD as well, we’ll see. U feel like u can recover somewhat?

#8

I have the mindset that things will get better, because I feel that’s the only mindset that will lead that way. I still crash sometimes on too little sleep, but at least now I have the perspective that things have been worse, and they have generally improved over time.

When I was in the worst of it I often couldn’t drive and it was difficult to hold a conversation. I had 0 motivation and felt like I was in a constant state of brain fog and chest tightness like I was in a panic attack.

Another thing I found helpful was a bit of adrenaline. The easiest way to get it was to force myself into a cold shower.

I would definitely encourage opening up more with people you spend time with. There is a weight you carry when being around people who don’t know how hard you’re struggling internally. When I’m around people who I’ve been open with about this condition, I find that weight is lighter and I can be more comfortable with who am now around them. A therapist is another person you can open up to completely, and is someone you can see from your room.

I wish you the best of luck. Find the things that help and keep them in your routine. Writing on this forum seems to be one? I think it has a lot of the benefits of journaling.

#9

Wow thanks a lot mann. I really happy ur having a positive outlook to this. That is great!. Tbh I haven’t seen much improvements so it’s getting harder to be positive, but I’ll try!
Today was a better day compared to most days. So hope this becomes more often.
Yeah I’ll slowly start opening up. Once I start socializing again. Yeah I noticed big drop in the weight after telling parents about this.
Yess having an outlet to let all my feelings atleast temporarily makes me feel better. Also I can read back to these days in the future and compare the days.
I will be seeing a therapist soon. But I don’t think I have any other problems other than this, so wouldn’t be much help. Maybe I might try Welbutrin for energy

#10

I guess most people come here to vent and when they are extremely low, and ignore the site when they feel slightly better.
Well for the past 3 days, my mental state was better (4.5/10). Feels like I can handle university.
What was different was that I did play some intense basketball 3 days ago, which did really took me out of a bad place. IDK whether it was a coincidence or not, cause when I’m really low, basketball makes it even worse.
Then yesterday and today I did socialize quiet abit (forced to), so maybe that helped aswell (again I’m not sure).
Feeling of becoming more emotionally stable seems random and I can’t predict it. But its better than always being in a very low, extremely suicidal place.
Again in the first month I had crazy fluctuations in mood, so this could be the same thing but more stable.
Also planning to start ALCAR tomorrow. AND my BAD eye floaters started to get better. (Its still there, but not as bad as 4 days ago)

My quality of life is a 4.5/10 here.

#11

Hey guys, this is my 3 month update.
Sexual symptoms seem to have stabilized, I get morning wood sometimes, and can masturbate 3-4 times a week. Libido still nowhere near as it was before (20%), and no random erections. I can feel orgasms aswell.

Physically, tinnitus has basically disappeared, and I don’t seem to have any digestive problems anymore. However I have almost completely stopped most of my physical activities, likes walking or playing basketball, which may have made some symptoms ease up in this department. Light eye floaters do show up ones in a way when I’m in the sun. Also my hair loss has completely stopped. However, there are sudden periods of time where my head hair experiences shedding, but in the correct male pattern baldness pattern. Also have light joint pain once in a way.

Mentally, is still bad. Much worse than sexual and physical symptoms. If this got better, I would be extremely happy. Mood still seems to fluctuate through out the week. Unable to do simple things like clean my room/do laundry. And constantly in a weird mental pain, feels like brain damage. Cognitively also seem to be bad. However, social interactions sometimes and in moderation seem to alleviate these symptoms for few hours, before it gets bad again. Mentally I’m in pain most of the time and its hard to describe it in words. Still feels like I have to survive through the day. Probably give myself 1-3/10 in terms of mental well-being.

And I still believe that if I continue to feel this way, maybe till the time one of research paper gets published, I will be ending things. I strongly believe that the mental pain is inhumane, and I’ve lost my joy for almost everything, and yes even though it is a selfish decision, I feel like the pain I would be spreading to my family, would be less than what I’m going through and they’ll eventually be able to cope up with it. But again who knows maybe I’ll change my mind in the future.

University is starting in less than a week. And even though initially I planned on taking a gap this semester, from the way things are progressing, and from what I’ve read, I won’t notice much improvements mentally for a long time or might never see any improvements. So might as well try start a few subjects now, and see whether I can handle it. And who knows maybe my mind will be able to adapt to it.

As much as I want to be hopeful that things will be better, which I still am, what I need is a realistic outlook on this to plan out basically the rest of my new life. I know people like to avoid the bad stories and focus on mainly the success stories, but I believe that only some people see improvements with time, and most don’t. And the fact that my mental symptoms haven’t really changed at all within the first 3 months, seem to point me towards the latter.

Still I will fight this with all I got and try to do my part by taking part in the studies from now onwards, and will donate and spread awareness to my community. Eventually, even finding the mechanism or at least some marker to scientifically prove PFS/PPSD/PAS is real, is going give the attention us guys need and deserve.

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