My situation is only getting progressively worse


#1

My situation is only getting progressively worse. I do not know if I can get to my visit by Daniele Santi, which in any case will only be useful from a diagnostic point of view. I will not get any therapy or treatment, just like any of us unfortunately. I’m afraid of a forced shelter, my mother and bitch my aunt believe me crazy, they plot something without my knowledge. I’m afraid. I think the last thing I was told about the woman I love and who raged on this damned disease has damaged my mental condition. I can not believe that the woman I love has done this to me and has also set me against my family. And no one has compassion, concern or feeling for me if not just yours. It’s all so damn cruel. Possible that I do not consider anything that is more insignificant than a piece of shit? If at least she, the woman I love would help me, I would appreciate it even though it destroyed me and led me to this nightmare, no more is doing me more harm seems to have no mercy on me, regret, a worry or pain. Nothing. I’m losing touch with reality, I feel like I’m in a horror videogame. This night I could not close my eyes, I cried so much that I ran out of tears, I did not breathe and my eyes still burned with my head in a terrible way. I did not eat anything today at lunch, I did not go down eating, I risk being suffocated too. Situation is simply killing me, it’s all so unfair. I have moments where I can not think too much, where friends talk to me or make me joke, but it’s all so short, when I’m alone in the day in particular at night my conditions precipitate and the thought takes over. I have ten thousand thoughts that kill me, I think about how it would have been if I had never met the syndrome just because someone did not take care of me hurting me, what my life would be like if I was good, how it was going to be moments with her, I love her so much. This person, however, has no account of me, not even when he is so ill that he has yet raged on me with a frightening cruelty and he does not feel any sense of guilt, even the least, of having treated me badly and unjustly. I really lost everything, my life, my family, my serenity and desire to live. This is something that really surpasses the most cursed nightmare. My friends I’m going crazy. Love completely destroyed me. I can not bear the enormous weight of all this. Suffering for love makes you also feel good, but not with a disease that totally prevents you from living that has deprived you of everything. No one has taken note of my courage to risk everything out of love, perhaps another woman would appreciate it, but I do not have the courage to be so in an indefinite time and that is only getting worse. You only realize you are useless and no one and there is someone better than you. This nightmare will never be removed, I must live with it and accept this cruelty of a person who is the woman I love. I have the limbs completely asleep, I can not stand I seem to be losing my brain functions. Now I go to the emergency room and let me give something so I’m completely fucked. It does not matter if it will do other damage my body no longer exists, it is completely destroyed. If I do not take myself, I commit suicide today.


#2

Brah stop with these suicide thoughts now!
I’m dramatically better than my first crash years ago.
You SURELY will feel better.
Avoid stupid people and start to use some drugs that can help you.


#3

Do not do this @Damon, please we don’t want anymore deaths due to this syndrome. It’s the heartbreak from the problems in your relationship that is causing this despair along with the pfs induced depression. Please refrain from doing this. Any PFS sufferers in Italy able to help here? PM the lad or give him a call??

You need to go to your GP immediately, do not mention Finasteride and get on some antidepressants, mirtazapine, fluoxetine have been used by guys with success to get you through this difficult period…


#4

hum… I’m here because antidepressants so not so great advice :joy:
Avoid ssri at all cost buddy,mirtazapine (remeron) should be ok


#5

Agreed antidepressants aren’t ideal but the guy is threatening suicide. I mentioned 2 that seemed to be okay generally for pfs.


#6

I agree with Chapman
Definitely get some help mate anti depressants are better than suicide but better still would be some sort of personal support from a family member or friend.


#7

You are not useless, @damon. There will come a time when your case will be very significant. You posted this in another thread:

If you appreciate that, then think of what I have to manage on top and do me a favour: I need everyone to stick together, and need those most severely affected to show the most courage. I understand what you are saying regarding feelings of betrayal, but the people you mention evidently do not understand. It may be difficult, but you must let go of resentment. It will pile upset on a situation that is difficult enough. It is unimaginable, as you plainly say, so they aren’t able to imagine it. Many members here do not understand what the severe end of this disease is like, so try to keep your expectations of people realistic and rise above it. If you give up, whatever “different account” of you they have now is all they will know. I personally want someone who means everything to me to know the truth, and I expect you do too. You talk of how this hurts you often and I really believe you must come to terms with their misunderstanding for now to protect yourself from it - they are only human. Instead focus on getting yourself through each day so that misunderstanding is temporary. You can find strength in purpose, and we all can help each other.

I wish very much you had more support around you. My mother has always been wonderful and continues to be, so I am saddened to hear you aren’t receiving the support of a parent. If you can, try and engage with the most supportive friend or family member and let them know how difficult it is at the moment. I really think it would be beneficial, but regardless, everyone is here for you so you are not alone.


#8

@axolotl I came home, in the emergency room today they gave me Bromazepam my head went tingling. I explained to them where my discomfort came from, PFS, they took me once again for crazy, they said I had anxiety, that I really do not have the anesthetized skin that is my feeling of my head and that my penis is normal I think it’s a damn nightmare, between a reality and the absurd. Soon I will upload some photos of it. It’s not all in my head and you know it well, you have my own problems, my family does not believe me thinks I have psychological problems. The woman I love is better than I do not name her anymore, she’s left to make me sick even more than I was, and I’ll never have a good gesture from her. I was today a friend to get some support, I’m back home now but being alone makes me feel bad. It seems that I can not be alone anymore I’m afraid of everyone, because really nobody understands what I’m going through… Axo thank you very much


#9

If it makes u feel any better I am in the same boat…Most cant relate to the physical changes and massive appearance differences between now and before Pfs…Its a difficult road we look and feel like shit but there are improvements to be had…Mentally in the morning I am back sharp as a tack…

Our bodies are like falling apart…I have the poor circulation, marshmallow body, weight gain, no energy, crazy dry skin and hair…I understand completely what you are facing…You should at least try a low dose of trt or clomid I did improve on it and the baking soda helped even more…Before those things I also kept worsening with no signs of improvement for years but then it started turning around somewhat…slowly it takes time…


#10

Damon, I know you’re suffering and it can feel worse when you think there’s no improvement in sight but a significant number of people have improved here. You should not underestimate the body’s capacity for recovery.

Often in medicine people have been on the brink and have come back as strong as they ever were.

You should at least try some of the things being suggested to you. Particularly something to help with your depression.

Even in a situation like this the mental side of things can be the most powerful and harmful. You might be surprised how good you could feel if your depression was alleviated.


#11

Yeah, I totally agree with @Greek.
@Damon trust me. DON’T GIVE UP.
Feel better is REALLY possible.
Now it’s time to fix your depression and your anxiety, then you will fix the others sides.
YOU CAN DO IT.


#12

@Andrea ci sto provando ma sto solo peggio…


#13

@Damon, do you get prescription for drugs that I advise you?