My boyfriend just turned 40 and has been using Propecia more than 10 years. We have been together for a little over 4 years and during that time sex has not been at its best. There were times when he would get a normal erection and sex would be great! Then there were times and even more now he would have a problem getting an erection. When he did get an erection and we began having sex, he would get tired so quickly and would eventually lose the erection. Sadly, for the past year or so, he has been complaining of being tired and has no feelings and desire. Of course me being 32 I am always ready and he would just not be in the mood. Recently he told me because of this it has made our relationship rocky and he does not even feel like he misses me. He told me that he needed a break. I ask him if their was someone else that he was interested in and he swear that there was no one else. He just feels that he has no more desire and wants to feel that he misses me. I am hurting so much. I did give hm a break and at the same time I know our break would end up into a break up. He said I deserve so much more and also said a few other things like he was pushing me away. I also want to believe it is a mid life crisis that he is going through, but I honestly believe its the Propecia that ruined him. I wish there was some way I could help him or that he would get some help. I am so hurt right now and we have not spoken in 2 weeks. Have any of you guys gone through similar in your relationships? Please give me your feedback.
its not a mid life crisis, it’s propecia…I’m 27 and been having these side effects since 20 years old…The drug can cause long term side effects that persist and dont go away, even after stopping it…We are trying to figure out a solution here…
In the mean time…sit down with him, show him that you care, and that you will work things out with him.
I say this because, I was too in a relationship, and this drug rocks your emotions, and kills your libido like no other.
Mary your story sounds like when my ex girlfriend traveled to see her family and I felt so bizarrely disconnected from everything. She was gone 2 weeks and I didn’t miss her at all. When she came home, I felt like I had to break up with her. It just felt so wrong continuing the relationship with a woman so full of love and affection and I was so damaged emotionally I just couldn’t love her back.
The symptoms we have are very similar to someone who is juiced up on very powerful SSRIs. You don’t feel depressed…you just feel…nothing. Your memory and concentration becomes impaired, your can’t feel love or get aroused and there is no way to get out of this state. I’ve been off propecia for 18 months now and I am permanently stuck in this emotional vacuum. I would give up every hair on my head to be normal again. It’s a complete nightmare. The thought of being a zombie for the rest of my life and never being able to love again or feel lust and passion for anything is very frightening and scary.
Hey guys, I appreciate your response. I really do not know what to do? The last time we spoke is when he said he needed a break. He said he is trying to figure out his personal goals and had a lot going on now. I have been very loyal to him and I am a very patient girl. If he tells me he needs a break I will give it to him and wait for him to get back to me when he is ready. I am so very hurt and crying everyday. He is a really great guy with a great heart and I want my boyfriend back so much. Does he not know that the Propecia is doing this to him? He always said he never had a problem with taking it and I new he was in denial.
BTW, I am so sorry to hear what you guys have gone through and going through.
Tell him to review this website, the FINASTERIDE STUDIES section, and FAQ at top of site to better understand the risks and potential side effects he may be experiencing:
propeciahelp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7
propeciahelp.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=8
If after reading the info contained on this website, other Members’ experiences, the videos listed in the FAQ, and Finasteride studies he still wants to ingest the drug, nothing you can do.
However if he recognizes some of the symptoms such as loss of libido etc within himself, he may be more apt to take a break from the drug and see if things improve. Loss of libido, erectile dysfunction, reduced ejaculate etc are all potential side effects listed by the manufacturer of this medicine – to ignore that warning if you are experiencing them is to ignore your own body telling you to stop.
Overall health is worth far more than a few hairs on one’s head. However, he needs to come to this understanding for himself, nobody else can do it for him. It’s a change in perception, which for many only comes in hindsight after the drug has robbed them of their masculinity, manhood and proper sexual, mental and physical function.
Refer to above comments. Most guys like to bury their head in the sand despite experiencing side effects, as they value their hair more than their health at a certain point in time. However as mentioned, eventually things can catch up to them and they end up experiencing many hormonal and related health issues from the drug, which affects many systems in their body.
He needs to do his own reading through this website to better understand the potential disastrous effects the medication he is taking on a daily basis can cause.
MaryHart, I had a similiar experience where I stopped feeling things and didn’t realize it, no connection to my now ex girlfriend, etc. Have a look at my member story in the link below. I hope he can still get off and recover for your sake. If he can’t he won’t become more emotional and caring until he gets off the drug. IMO you should leave because he’s not going to change until this happens and there’s even a chance that he won’t after. It’s sad but true.
It’s been 18 months since I stopped and I am still lucky if I have emotions and connections.
Why does he worry about his hair, if you’ve been together that long? Do you care for his hair?
Just to underline what joetz and a few others have explained, Propecia has the ability to render a user into a dissociative state that we call “brain fog”. This state is characterized by confusion, listlessness, depression and behavior changes. These are the insidious mental side effects we have a section dedicated to. If you browse the studies area here, you can find information such as this which prove the drug can cause depression.
Truthfully, it does a lot more than just depress someone though - many of us lose the capacity to feel emotions after the drug does its worst, and often the simplest tasks become very difficult to perform. It can easily be a challenge just to think of the right words to say when talking to someone due to the purveying state of blankness. And the worst part is that, in men such as us, it doesn’t go away just because you stop taking Propecia. I took the drug a maximum of one week, and for 4 years I’ve battled this. It’s crippling.
The best you can do is what Mew outlined - he needs to be informed of the real risks and side effects Propecia can cause. Some men recover and some don’t, which is the point where one needs to consult a doctor who knows what he’s doing. It is possible to regain a semblance of functionality after this disaster, but the first step is to get off of the feminizing poison.
Hi Maryheart
My situation is really similar to yours…I am 38 years old and fortunately I have a little child who Doctor said it has been a miracle because my sex situation: poor and low number of espermatozoids, low sex desire, erectil disfuntion…My wife is great, enormous! She is with me although we have not sexual relations. Now she is really concentrated on her little boy and I am really scare the followings months, years if I can’t find my cure…
Don’t let your boyfriend go away, help him and let you know this web.
good luck and God bless you, girl.
wow, I am really happy to get the feedback I am receiving here. When my boyfriend decides to contact me, I will share this info with him. In the meantime, its seems as though he does not want to see me or hear from me. We hardly ever had any arguments or any problems in our relationship other than this. I know he’s been complaining lately about how he feels and I just thought he was getting older and hitting the midlife crisis. I even read all the symptoms on the internet of men going through a mid life crisis and it did fit his description. However, after coming across this site, it seems to be more of a match here. I really did notice he does not want to even kiss me as much of even hug and cuddle with me in bed. Ofcourse, what girl does not like to cuddle? I miss that so much. After our conversation last week, he made it sound like it was my fault that our relationship would not work. He said we are at different levels in our lives and I do not have much interest in the things he likes. This is so not true. I always try to get involve. He kept saying I deserve so much more, because he just does not have the desire. I felt like he is telling me to move on with my life with someone else and that he does not want me anymore. I can’t just switch my feelings and move on. I am hurting with this distance.
anonn1- you are so young.
Fanjeera- It does not matter to me whether he has hair or not and he knows that.
3pm- “brainfog” is a big part of his symptoms. It also sounds like he feels overwhelmed.
Insomnia- I am happy to hear you have a kid. I am very happy with my boyfriend and have no intentions of giving him up. I just wish that he could realize what this drug has done to him.
I was only on Propecia for 6 weeks, but it was awful. The worst part is that I didn’t realize it was awful at the time. I was so concerned about my hair and not losing it, that I didn’t see that it changed my personality.
I am in a relationship with someone I consider to be the most amazing woman alive. Before 6 weeks ago, things had been perfect. Then I started taking propecia and it was all downhill from there. I was experiencing mood swings and anger like I had never had before. The worst part was that I didn’t even realize that it was happening. We would fight or have a serious conversation every night, it was awful, but I didn’t know why. I may have never taken the time to investigate, but one night after by far the worst of the fights over the most insignificant thing it was late and I needed to go to bed. I was so worked up that I thought there would be no way that I would be able to fall asleep. Not the case, the minute I laid down, I was calmer than I had ever been. It really freaked me out, by all accounts I should have been upset, angry and emotionally worked up, but I wasn’t. So I decided to find out what was going on. I ended up tracing the problems back to about a week after I started the drug. I then started searching the internet and found that mood swings and anger were reported by more people than just me.
That was the last time I took propecia, things immediately started to get better. I wasn’t nervous anymore, I didn’t get upset about foolish things, and I was back to the old me.
Unfortunately, the damage had been done, my girlfriend wasn’t too quick to forgive me, and hasn’t yet. She says she is trying, but I think she doubts the drug was the catalyst for my mood changes/anger. She went to the propecia web site and there was nothing there about mood swings or anger. I was able to direct her to other message boards that discuss the effects but she seems to think that it’s more of an excuse for my awful behavior. This upsets me more than I can say because I’m not like that, I hadn’t acted like that before i started taking the drug and haven’t since. I don’t know what to do at this point; I don’t know how to convince her, that while it was me acting that way, there was another force at work. I’m not looking to be absolved from all responsibility; I just want her to understand. Even if we don’t survive this, it is hard for me to think she will walk away thinking that I acted like that on my own, that it is just the way I am. Sorry for going on and on with this, I just was just nice to know that I wasn’t alone in what i was feeling.
I am sorry to hear Mary.
I suffered from the same but i overcame it and it was difficult. I could tell you how i did it but, to be honest, i know you love him but i suspect that at 40 it will be very difficult for him to overcome, this stuff castrates you chemically. Even with chemical astration drugs they give serial rapists the men come back to normalo when the drug is stopped, but fina is one where it can permanently castrate you. I would listen to what he says, he is telling you that its over, literally, he cannot give you what you as a woman yearn, that means it is over. Truth be told i would listen to what he is telling you and move on. The funny thing is not even conventional TRT cures this sort of a problem and the best western minds on mens helath issues still have not figured this out.
If you want email me PM me and i can help you and tell you how i overcame it.
BCas02,
I know exactly what you are talking about, see my member story etc.
This drug completely warped my personality.
Send me a PM if there is anything further i can tell you. Hopefully your girlfriend will give you enough time to deomonstrate the real you. She must know that you could not now be putting on an act as it would be hard to pretend over a long period of time.
I still find it hard to come to terms with the fact that a little pill taken each day could have such effects.
hope it works out
Propecia and SSRIs are sentimental relationships killer. As long as him take the drug, I don’t think you can do much, He will always suffer from low libido and a lack of long lasting-erection. You can recommend if him want to consult his doctor, and get prescribed a PDE-5 inhibitor likeTadalafil.
Same story here.