Welcome to our community. Please fill in the following template as a way of introducing yourself, and helping others to understand your background and situation.
Where are you from, Netherlands?
How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?) Google
What is your current age, height, weight? 41, 1.88M, 90KG
What specific drug did you use (finasteride, dutasteride, saw palmetto, isotretinoin/Accutane, fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, leuprorelin, etc…)? Topical finasteride, 0,2 ML
What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?
0,2ML
What condition was being treated with the drug? Oke
For how long did you take the drug (weeks/months/years)?
5 weeks
Date when you started the drug?
september 2024
Date when you quit the drug?
november 2024
Age when you quit?
40
How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?
Cold turkey
How long into your usage did you notice the onset of side effects?
Not
What side effects did you experience that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?
See below, but now, depression, suicidal thoughts, depersonalisatie, Adhonia
Check the boxes that apply. You can save your post first, then interactively check/uncheck the boxes by clicking on them. If your symptoms change, please update your list.
Sexual
[ x ] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[ x ] Erectile Dysfunction
[ x ] Complete Impotence
[ x ] Loss of Morning Erections
[ x ] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[ x ] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[ x ] Watery Ejaculate
[ ] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility
Mental
[ x ] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[ x ] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[ x ] Confusion
[ ] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
[ ] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[ ] Slurring of Speech
[ ] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[ x ] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[ x ] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[ x ] Suicidal Thoughts
Physical
[ ] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[ ] Testicular Pain
[ ] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[ ] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[ ] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes
Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[ ] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[ x ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[ ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[ ] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
[ ] Hearing loss
[ ] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ x ] Lowered body temperature
[ x ] tinnitus
Dear readers,
I’ve been ill for 11 months now and would like to share my story with you. I’d like some honest advice on whether I should continue this ordeal.
FIRST USE OF FINASTERIDE:
I briefly used finasteride in 2023 because my hair was thinning at the front. I was prescribed the pills by a hair clinic in the Netherlands. After two weeks, I noticed I felt flatter. Not depressed, but slightly less intense emotions. I decided to stop and give it a rest for a while.
SECOND USE OF FINASTERIDE:
The following year, I had a difficult time at work and felt a bit insecure. I used minoxidil that year. I went back to this hair clinic for the second time and told them I had experienced some mild side effects the first time I used it. They said they’d never actually heard of it, but they recommended using topical finasteride. I then saw online videos from “specialists” explaining that microdosing would have virtually no side effects. I started with 0.2 ml, which was equivalent to 0.1 mg of finasteride.
FIRST SYMPTOMS:
During a presentation at work, I had a panic attack and derealization. This turned out to be the start of all the misery. I went to the doctor; she thought I had burnout (also because I’d had a rough year at work). I thought it was a side effect of Fina and told her. I decided to stop taking it immediately. I also stopped taking minoxidil.
THE CRASH:
I suffered from derealization for 10 days. I called in sick from work. I couldn’t sleep and felt terribly miserable. After 10 days, my doctor prescribed sleeping pills, which turned out to be Quitapine. That night, the real nightmare began. I woke up with extremely suicidal thoughts. It was as if they weren’t my own thoughts, but rather were being forced into my head. I ended up in the hospital, in the psychiatric ward.
MY COMPLAINTS:
In the days that followed, my symptoms became much worse. No sleep, no erections, no libido, no orgasms, derealization and depersonalization, depression and suicidal thoughts, tremors throughout my body, dizziness. Nearly fainting when I stood up (feeling like my brainstem was being fried). Gut problems, panic attacks, social anxiety, overstimulation, weight loss. I lost 106 to 96 kilos in a few weeks. Tinnitus developed a few weeks later.
I haven’t had any physical changes (besides weight loss). But I initially exercised 5 hours a week and now only swim and walk. I now weigh 90 kg (198 lbs), and am 1.88 meters (6’2") tall.
I also think there’s nothing wrong with my memory or thinking skills.
THE HELL:
My life was good before the crash. I had some problems, but it was happy. I have a nice family, lots of friends, fun hobbies, and a wonderful family.
THE FIRST MONTHS:
In the first few months, my wife contacted the crisis services about 20 times. During this period, I came close to suicide a few times. I was also voluntarily admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a week. (At that time, few specialists believed I was experiencing symptoms from the finasteride, but suspected burnout.)
MY INTERVENTIONS:
For the first few months, I lived on benzodiazepines (but after 4 months, I was off them).
Healthy eating.
After 3 months, I started taking HCG with an endocrinologist who understood my symptoms. My testosterone was low. Carnivore diet
Supplements (Too long to list)
Progesterone 100mg in the evening, combined with DHEA and pregnanalone
Contacted a psychiatrist, who prescribed Welbutrin/Bupropion
Neurofeedback 100 hours
A daily dip in natural water
MY RECOVERY SO FAR:
After 3 months, my erections, orgasms, and libido returned (libido fluctuates). But I can get erections when I want to have sex and often have morning erections.
Derealization decreased after 3 months.
Tinnitus disappeared after 5 months.
Sleep gradually improved (8 hours per night).
Social anxiety decreased somewhat.
I still experience depersonalization, but it can be more pronounced in crowded environments.
I rarely have panic attacks anymore. Only on really bad days sometimes.
WHAT IS MY LIFE LIKE NOW?
For the first 6 months, I spent most of my time in bed, thinking about death and hoping for a miracle. My wife, brother, friends, and family really helped me through it. I think the amount of suffering I experienced during this time was the most I could bear. During this time, I was on the verge of suicide several times. I think I’ve always been a cheerful guy, with perhaps a little sensitivity to anxiety, but I always lived life to the fullest and enjoyed it to the fullest.
Now, 11 months later, I’m taking stock of the past year. It makes me sad to think back. I’ve been home from work for 11 months now, and I’m unable to work. I spend a lot of time at home with my family. I can go on outings, but I get tired quickly and don’t feel much. I always feel flat and emotionless, as if life is passing by without you being a part of it. I’ve really missed everything this past year, which would be normal for many people. No parties, no work, no weekend getaways, no birthdays, etc. I can go out and I do, but it’s not fun or enjoyable.
I’m now at a point where life isn’t really life anymore. I can breathe and have a heartbeat. There have been improvements, certainly. But I always feel a kind of dissociation or depersonalization when I leave the house. This has lessened. But I always have a kind of stress in my body.
I think a lot about death, how this could happen, and how awful it is what my family has to endure. Honestly, I don’t think I can handle this hell much longer. Being stuck at home and feeling restricted. I don’t want to die, but this life has so little value. It’s such a terrible story to have to write this, when a year ago I had a good life with a good family.
Know that I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery. I also wanted to share my story so you know what happened to me. I hope I can still find some strength and hope somewhere to carry on.
Thank you.
Greetings from the Netherlands