My currently terrible post-finasteride life

  1. How did you find this forum?
    A: Google

  2. What is your current age, height, weight?
    Age: 23
    Height: 190 cm
    Weight: 180 cm

  3. Do you excercise regularly? If so, what type of excercise?
    A: Regular, brisk, one hour walks.

  4. What type of diet do you eat (vegetarian, meat eater, raw, fast-food/organic healthy)?
    A: Concious of diet. Several servings of fruit/veg per day. Generally opportunistic omnivore by necessity of being a student

  5. Why did you take Finasteride (hair loss, BPH, other)?
    A: Hair loss

  6. For how long did you take Finasteride (weeks/months/years)?
    A: Three months

  7. How old were you when you started Finasteride?
    A: 20

  8. How old were you when you quit?
    A: 20

  9. How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?
    A: Cold turkey

  10. What type of Finasteride did you use – Propecia, Proscar, Fincar or other generic?
    A: Proscar

  11. What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?
    A: Proscar: 1mg/day

  12. How long into your use of Finasteride did you notice the onset of side effects?
    A: Complicated (will elaborate)

  13. What side effects did you experience while on the drug that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?
    A: Zinc, multivitamins, vitamin-D, adderall, vitamin-C, fish-oil tablets, magnesium, horny goat weed, tribulus, zopiclone (sleeping pill)

Put an X beside all that apply:

Sexual
[X] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence
[X] Loss of Morning Erections
[X] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[X] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[ ] Watery Ejaculate
[X] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[X] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[X] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[X] Confusion
[X] Memory Loss / Forgetfullness
[X] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[X] Slurring of Speech
[X] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[X] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[X] Depression / Melancholy

Physical
[X] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[X] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[X] Testicular Pain
[X] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[X] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain
[X] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[X] Muscle Wastage
[X] Muscle Weakness
[X] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[X] Prostate pain
[X] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[X] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[ ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[ ] Increased hair loss
[X] Frequent urination
[X] Lowered body temperature

[X] Other (please explain)
A: Unpredictable hypoglycemia.

  1. What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?
    A: Androgel

  2. If you have pre or post-Finasteride bloodtests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (pls post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?

  3. Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience with Finasteride?

  4. Tell us your story, in your own words, about your Finasteride usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.

Hey guys. Long time lurker, first time poster. I’ve derived a lot of comfort and education from reading about your own fin experiences. I want to return the favor and be a comfort in turn, if I can. My story is depressing and my battle is far from over but reading about other sufferers similar to myself has been a miracle to me, even without a guarantee of hope. So give this a read if you’ve got the time and if you’ve any advice or comments, I’d love to hear them. Thanks.

PRE-FIN

I don’t mean to bore you with exposition but it’s necessary to cover this in order to establish context. If you’re anything like me and have been forced to become an armchair endocrinologist in order to survive, you might find this interesting.

I’ve almost always been a low-t guy. Following the removal of an undescended testicle at age 14, my energy levels, libido, mood, and athleticism decreased sharply for about a year before plateauing and remaining depressed for the rest of my adolescence. I became sexually reduced, unmotivated, and generally depressed. The noticeable gynecomastia (not pseudo-genyecomastia–gynecomastia) didn’t help matters. My doctor was inattentive and I was naive and so hormones and the like were never examined. Knowing what I know now about testosterone, I suspect that my lousy levels rested juuuust within the normal range because while I didn’t have even half the vigor I should have had and previously did have, I did manage to develop into an apparently healthy male. No other PFS-like symptoms except the low energy/libido and mild gynecomastia. Fast forward to the fin era.

FINASTERIDE

Male patter baldness runs in the family; my own turn came at the depressing but not unexpected age of 20. I went to my GP and picked up a prescription of fin for damage control because hey, why not?–“The side affects subside after discontinuation.” I didn’t experience much of anything at all for the three months I was taking it: No hair growth, and no sides–EXCEPT for a very mild, almost imperceptible, possibly placebo decline in libido. I did a precautionary google search and the very first hit was THIS VERY SITE. I threw my almost full bottle of proscar into the trash that same night.

Phase I: 8 MONTHS OFF OF FIN

All was quiet for about two weeks. And then everything came crashing down. My emotions and ability to retain information were the first casualties. I lost my ability to study and then I just stopped caring about school and my future altogether (pre-fin I was a pretty good student). Then my sleep schedule just flat-out inverted. I would sleep all day and be restless all night and there was nothing I could do to force it back into a healthy rhythm. My libido evaporated; near-complete impotence. For weeks I just plodded on through my hazy life. But then the coup de gras struck me in the form of daily, terrifying panic attacks and accompanying agoraphobia. Either as a direct result of my fin, or as a response to my symptoms, I developed severe depression of a kind I didn’t know a human being could experience. Eventually, I couldn’t leave my room at all during the daylight hours. So I ceased all communication of every form with every person I knew and began seriously contemplating my suicide. However before I could go through with it I was rescued from my dark apartment by my very frightened and very confused parents who spirited me back to my home where I would remain for over a year.

Now, this may seem unbelievable and even unforgivable given my current up-and-upedness on testosterone in general and on my own testosterone specifically but I’m deadly serious when I confess that at that time, for some reason, I just didn’t suspect an androgen deficit as the source of my ills. I had studied this website. I had discontinued the drug upon recognizing that the VERY THING I was now experiencing was a very real risk. And yet I just wallowed for months in a vegetative state. I guess I forgot all about fin and just chalked my miserable condition up to a fluke of nature. I’d like to go back and intervene much earlier than I did, but I cannot. Whatever the case may be, irrecoverable months flew away from me before I began to recover.

SEMI-RECOVERY

Lots of guys here just never ever seem to recover. They take the pill and their life is permanently divided into their syrupy pre-fin dream and their rancid post-fin nightmare. I’m lucky that I got to experience recovery, even if it was only temporary. Long story short, over the next several months, my body just sort of came back online. System by system, day by day. My sleep normalized, and then my panic attacks became less frequent. In time, I could even leave the house and get some exercise. With yet more time, I could manage an entry-level job. My life resumed a semblance of normalcy. I was one of the lucky few. I recovered.

But not quite enough.

Something was still off. My writing was, and remains, much slower in composition and much clumsier in execution than in my pre-fin prime(I used to be very proud of my writing, and now I haven’t really written anything non-compulsory in years; even my spelling is shot). My libido was a fraction of the fraction it used to be. I couldn’t derive much enjoyment from even simple things like family and movies and nature and such. I wasn’t suffering anymore, mind you, but I didn’t feel as alive as I did in my pre-fin days.

Finally, I smartened up and got my hormones checked.

ANDROGEL AND RELAPSE

As is the way with this disease, I had to go through several doctors before I found one who would even entertain my theory–you guys know this frustration all too well. Well he tested my testosterone and, of course, it came back low:

Total Test: 337 ng/dl
Free Test: 29.1 pmol/L (31 - 94)
Estradiol: 35 pg/mol

He began me on androgel, 5g daily, immediately. This was perhaps eight months ago. For about two months the positive changes were subtle but perceptible, and very welcome. My body shape assumed more masculine musculature, my stomache and hips flattened; my libido increased, and I even had the occasional morning erection. It felt like I was on the road to recovery.

But then, after about two months on the gel, I crashed again. It turns out my first life-destroying case of PFS was merely a kiss on the cheek from Merck. This round was disembowelment.

My sleep pattern has flipped on its head again. My depression has reawakened, well rested and hungry. I am dizzy and fatigued all of the time. But this round things are much, much worse, and very disturbing. Quite simply, I have a severe case of just about every single goddamn symptom on this page–http://propeciahelp.com/symptoms. Some highlights:

-genitals are cold and bloodless. They seem healthy enough when I wake up in the morning (or whatever time my body insists is morning), but come evening they are atrophied, cold, and lifeless
-veined, inflamed penis
-wrinkles and bruises on glans
-ZERO libido
-non-restorative sleep
-no REM sleep or dreams
-gynecomastia
-feminine hips and buttocks
-hypoglycemia
-inability to form solid memories
-weird feminization
-hot flashes and pins and needles
-feelings of worthlessness and guilt
-stumbling, halting speech
-apathy
-anhedonia
-prostate twitches
-fatigue all throughout the day, panic and anxiety at night
=Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong.

I don’t know exactly why I crashed on the testosterone. Others have suggested that the androgel without an aromitase-inhibitor caused a build up of estrogen in my system which eventually toppled me. But I recognize my symptoms as being textbook PFS–not classical hypogonadism. My own theory is that the destabilizing effect of the androgel finished the job that the fin had started, finally shattering my HPTA (hypothalamic-pituitary-testicular axis). A user on this website–http://tnation.t-nation.com/free_online_forum--who has experience with PFS and hypogonadism agrees, terming my (our) hormonally vulnerable state that is just set up to fail, “brittle HPTA.”

I’ve been off the androgel for about six months now, and I’ve been off the fin for a few years. My body appears to have now stopped naturally recovering. I think I can definitely term my side effects “persistent”. I’ve found a somewhat more experienced doctor who is willing to treat me with heavy-duty, comprehensive testosterone therapy (testosterone, estrogen control, etc). I begin treatment in just under a month. I cannot begin to speculate as to whether or not it will be effective; like you, I can only wait and see. PFS defies attempts at prediction.

Thank you for listening. If you’ve got any questions or comments please don’t hesitate to ask. I do go to school, but the majority of my attention is fixed on researching this disease and pursuing possible cures (also I don’t have either a social or romantic life of any kind any more). Nothing but free time. My doctor knows nothing of PFS and, for all his zeal, really only dabbles in TRT, so I am going to have to dictate the course of my own treatment. I know now the penalty for mistreatment of PFS. Ironically enough, the quest to understand the disease that destroyed my life has provided me with a sense of purpose.

Anyways guys, I know I’m just one of many of you who is suffering through this, but I appreciate the opportunity to vent to people who actually believe me and don’t want to push me out their door with a prescription for prozac. I will continue to pore through this website and your stories and if I or my doctor discover anything of value you will surely hear about it.

Thanks.

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For anyone who is trying to reach me on Skype: I currently do not have either a webcam or a mic. PMs are impossible at the moment as well, due to the forum’s probationary period for newcomers. I hope to be able to PM soon.

I would advise you to purchase a cheap microphone or headset. Cheers.

UPDATE

I’ve been on HCG, 400iu 3x a week for around a month and change. This is an exploratory dose, intended to gauge my body’s response in order to determine how much, if any, testosterone my doctor will prescribe me and also the frequency of injections. Bear in mind that my doctor is unaware of the finasteride factor and so is treating me as he would any other hypogonadal male. If my response to the HCG is positive but my T-levels have remained depressed (that is, not fully recovered from HCG monotherapy), my doctor intends to devise a regimen of testosterone, HCG, and arimidex to increase my T, maintain the function of my testicle, and police my estrogen, respectively. Will this work? I can’t say. The PFS community is divided on the issue of testosterone replacement therapy; some call it poisonous, others call it our last best hope. I’ve already experienced both dramatic improvement and horrible relapse on TRT. My hope is that this time, under the supervision of a TRT specialist rather than a urologist, the experience will be mostly positive. I’ll let you know how it goes.

As for the HCG’s effect on my symptoms. I saw an increase in mood and confidence while on the hormone. My depression and anxiety both saw substantial improvements and after a few weeks I could even raise my hand and contribute to discussions at school. These are massive gains. My sexuality has seen modest improvement as well. I haven’t had a hot-flash since beginning the HCG. And those tears that welled at my eyes eternally are also thankfully gone. My emotions have become less volatile and I feel less feminized overall. Also, my penis seems to be responding to visual stimulation in a way it has not since the finasteride. If I happen across pornography on the internet I sometimes feel that familiar tingling sensation in my penis as much needed blood flows to it. Now, it is still quite insensitive and I still don’t have the libido to pursue women, but it is at least a sign of life and so very welcome.

It has not all been positive though. My penis still has the tendency, especially later on in the day, to dry up and recede into my groin. My testicle (I only have one) remains cold and lifeless. I also feel, albeit faintly, some excess estrogen in my chest area since starting the HCG. If you’ve been hit with gynecomastia, you recognize that itchy sensation in your nipples that makes them erect and preludes the growth of breast tissue. I’ve felt a bit of that. I don’t think my chest has actually begun growing again, but it feels like it could start to at any day. Overall though, I have to say that the modest benefits of HCG have so far outweighed the very mild negative effects.

I submit blood testing on March 4th and my doctor and I will proceed based on the results. It is my suspicion that many of the members here who have undergone TRT and report disastrous effects did not do so under supervision of a competent TRT doctor. You should know that TRT for even your garden variety low-T man is a very young practice and so rife with inexperienced doctors operating under misinformation.Clumsy TRT can result in a crash, and often does, even for hypogonadal men who have never heard of yet alone touched finasteride. It happens all the time and there are whole forums dedicated to airing their complaints and finding solutions. So I hope to be a guinea pig of sorts and undergo the commonly accepted “optimal” regimen of TRT and so negate the tricky variable of dosage and doctor experience. I have a good feeling about this, guys.

Thanks for the update. Keep us posted man. I’m seeing a laundry list of symptoms as well. Does the trt help with fatigue?