My 2019 New Years Resolution - Cheer Everybody Up!


#1

Hola, I’m 90% cured of “worst case scenario/trainwreck” PFS - 100% positively recovered from total sexual dysfunction and loss of emotionality, most critically - so I thought I’d try to cheer everybody up a bit!

16%20Candles


#2


#3


#4

Porn star Marilyn Chambers! :heart_eyes:


#5

So PFS hit me like a tsunami in Dec. 2014. For TWO YEARS I had zero libido BUT it roared back to life in Dec 2016. I’ve been ravenously horny ever since! Likewise, my “sexual plumbing” 100% froze for 2.5 years but suddenly started worked perfectly well in June 2016. (2+ times daily “petting the snake” - same as ever, EXACTLY like before PFS.

So I’m now trying to round up galpals again. Here’s my new OKCupid.com dating profile:


#6

My self-summary

  • So YOU are “of the feminine persuasion,” your “dreamboats have turned into footnotes,” and - to add insult to injury - you have perused WAAAAY too many OKC profiles because your “love buzz” won’t “let you be”! Ha!
  • So to expedite your review of mine, I’ll “shoplift” from Clint Eastwood’s “The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly” – an “Italian spaghetti western” from yesteryear. Without further ado:

THE GOOD (“It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true!”)

    1. I have an effusive/positive/fun-loving personality. :clown_face::upside_down_face: Recent example: While gym biking recently, I spotted a couple biking together side-by-side. I quipped “the couple that bikes together STAYS together!” They laughed BUT she cleverly countered “we’ll see!” Touché :joy:
    1. I’m an excellent employment/HR attorney - 15+ years experience, have won most of 20+ solo atty non-jury trials, etc. (Did you know the EEOC sued Hooters for discriminating against MALE employees! :thinking:)
    1. I am “not dumb”/arguably unusually intelligent :nerd_face: Ex. Did you know time slows down as you approach the speed of light? :sunrise:
    1. I am exceptionally knowledgeable, after reading countless books and #fakenews articles from New York Times, Wash. Post, Variety, Entertainment Weekly, etc. :earth_americas: Ex. The very FIRST bullet fired in the French/Indian War BARELY missed a George Washington’s noggin!
    1. I can usually hold a lengthy “infotaining” conversation with anyone (ex. I recently met an Iranian student and advised him to flirt with girlies with “offbeat” lines like “I left my magic flying carpet in Persia, but let’s Uber down to Amelie’s French Café soon”)
    1. HUNDREDS of peeps (ex. ID checkers) have exclaimed “you look 10-15 years younger than your age!” (avoided sun and daily use face lotion) :angel:
    1. I am happy(ish) and fun-loving/optimistic and will NEVER “foist” - or even discuss - my health issues upon/with you. (See below):no_good_man:
    1. I still have most of my now-darkened blonde hair – yesh!:pouting_man:
    1. My “mindset” age is much younger than actual retail age of 50 – yeah/yikes! What other 50yo inserts so many freaking emoticons! :space_invader: I’m always open to new and upcoming trends/events – e.g. watching “The Adventures of Mrs. Maisel” and adoring Ellie King/Josh Stone/Arctic Monkeys.
    1. I’m “quite pleasant” but rarely “boring/conventional.” Expect quirky communiques CONSTANTLY (ex. “Hey #bossbabe quit flirting with your ‘side hustles’ or I’ll spray RAID on ‘em!”) :ghost:

THE GOOD/BAD

  • My life REALLY is an “endless weekend”! (ha!) I moved to Charlotte from Wash DC in Jan 2016. I “enjoy” a very generous unexpected disability retirement income, free health insurance, insignificant debt, and zero job/family responsibilities.

[See “Private Info” below for Bad/Ugly]

P.S. Dec. 2018, my apt. gym. 3-4 times weekly I vigorously ride the stationary bike 45 minutes to stay fit, lift weights, AND I am true-blue 5’11 (barefoot)/190 lbs. – reasonably fit/slim!


#7


#8

Enough for now!

Hopefully, YOU will be cured SOON too!


#9

You’re a nice guy man. I’m glad it all worked out for you.


#11

I’d say more than the memes it’s that he’s actually able to find them funny, has a sense of humor, and well… really seems to be making the best of life. And looking at his old symptoms, he seemed really really bad off, total insomnia and complete impotence are no joke. The hope should cheer you up.


#12

Yeah I deleted my comment, I reread what I said and felt like an asshole.


#13

Truthfully I feel quite stupid too. I realize it’d be pretty hard to see it from my POV instinctively since you’ve been in this for so long. My bad, but I hope you take solace in the fact that it looks like one day we will be cured.