Hello all, Monk here. I made a post in 2022 about how I was joining you all. 4 years on I am still fighting and thought I should share how I have been getting on.
I was hit very hard initially, everything you can think of. My face wasn’t recognisable. Today- I am doing much better, but definitely not fully recovered.
It seemed after 3-4 years I stabilised. I don’t really get crashes anymore. Stress makes things worse, but I always seem to stabilise. Evenings are almost fine, mornings are worse. Digestion/ stomach issues and low libido are remaining issues. I also feel like I almost have ADHD, and can find concentrating hard. I assume that’s due to the low dopamine. But the general fog is a lot better.
My life has been interesting. I went to uni, kept a bar job during that time. I have come back home have been working. I have chosen to pursue physical jobs. This is because they keep my mind and body occupied, and due to the ADHD like symptoms I have now, I would struggle immensely with a desk job. I decided to change careers and am working towards becoming a plumber, I will let you know how that gets on.
Relationships have also been interesting. My face got better, not as hollow / wrinkled as during the initial crash. There’s still less face fat- but in some funny way that has made me more attractive. The other funny thing about this whole charade is I haven’t struggled attracting women since shaving my head- so I never needed to take this poison pill in the first place. I can have sex, but erections never feel 100%. I tend to dip out of dating when the first problems start occurring. I think going forward I will let her know my issues, or I will find someone with a lower sex drive themselves.
My mentality throughout this ordeal has been to power through. I focus on what I do have- not what I don’t. I am lucky that I don’t think I am one of the worst hit. At the end of the day, I still have my arms, legs and brain functioning to a certain degree; so I will use them to my full capacity. There are people who have been dealt with worse cards than us. I remember reading about a man who was bed bound with tuberculosis and lived 70 years in an iron lung- going on to become a lawyer and live his life to the fullest.
The point is life still has a lot to offer. I haven’t stopped living. I’ve made friends, laughed, cried and made an impact on people’s lives. I have also lost things, which I likely wouldn’t have lost without this condition - but who knows. I focus on what I can control.
Going forward I will focus on carving out a life that is optimal for me. That includes physical work- relaxation, an easy going relationship and hopefully when the time is right- a family. I hope the next time I write a message I would have achieved those things.
I am going to build a life that best accommodates what I have. You cannot spend all day worrying about things you can no longer control. I will take each day as it comes, still enjoying the little things.
So, that’s me signing off soldiers. Good luck!