Hey everyone,
Thank you for all of the quick replies. I apologize for being so negative. I know if you read all of my posts I probably seem like a lunatic and at this point maybe I am. I go from feeling extremely positive some days to just depressed and wanting to kill myself others. I feel that even though my free t went down by only a little bit, it should have went up as the first test was done around 2pm and the second test was done around noon so a bit earlier.
I haven’t been able to have them check SHBG, Estriadol, DHEA, or Vitamin D yet so I am going to work on that I next. Luckily I am from Canada so as long as the doctor/specialist recommends these tests they are all free, I have work insurance as well which may help cover any extra stuff. I think I get something like $15,000 lifetime for fertility treatments so I am HOPING that will cover any additional weird stuff that is not covered by our government plan.
In the end I had a bit of a breakdown today. I called in expecting my numbers to have gone up and instead they were lower. I panicked and since I’ve been having a rough few days I pretty much contemplated nothing but suicide. I am deeply sorry for the depressing attitude that I have brought to the forum as it is not my intentions to make anyone else’s day worse.
I guess the only good thing that I took out of today is that my FSH was slightly low and my LH was only right in the middle, if these were high it would point towards primary hypogonadism which I understand is impossible to treat without TRT. The fact that they are not high shows that my pituitary does not sense low t. Maybe it is because conversion into estrogen, maybe its because it is bound by SHBG. I can only hope.
On the plus side I took vitamin D last night (2000 iu) and I woke up this morning with an erection (nothing huge to brag about but its a start). This is the first morning erection I have had since starting the drug last October. I think for now I will give vitamin D a shot, however I won’t be taking a lot until I know that my levels are low. I don’t want to do any more damage. Also, Fish oil helped me get back to 100% for a week back in January. I have read Fish oil blocks SHBG so maybe that is my issue. I really am just lost in all of this so I apologize for the long post.
I really appreciate all of your help. You are a great group of guys (for the most part although I’m not a fan of some of the other negative people on here) and I guess quitting isn’t the answer.
I am lucky enough to have a girlfriend who knows my issue and helps me a lot with talking stuff out. My parents now know and they have been supportive, and my doctor is definitely no genious with hormonal issues but he was at least willing to admit that propecia caused my low testosterone. I guess I am lucky for all of that.
For those of you out there who don’t have this support and are going through even worse side effects than me, know this…I respect the shit out of you. Honestly I don’t care what the doctors say, you guys have balls, despite what Merck has done to you. It takes balls to wake up every day and face this, and if you are doing it alone you are one of the toughest people I know. I wouldn’t last 2 seconds in some of the situations I have heard about from others, so I know it is not much, but from a fellow pfs sufferer I look up to you guys.
Thank you for responding when I am at my worst and talking like an idiot.