For me PFS means I have to go old without a partnership, without a family, total alone, because of the loss of my sexual and entire intellectual and emotional abilities.
A fat weird bum with dark cycles under his eyes. If my child doesn’t visit me at the weekend, I hang alone 24/7 in my house.
Maybe I’m older as the average here but the pain I suffer day by day, hour for hour is the same.
And we elder 50 + ones with PFS from proscar against BPH are rare cases in rare disease. The chance getting Mercks jackpot was even much lower for us.
And that’s why I go into the regret for my mistakes and let the way into the PFS catastrophe pass by I acted with the intellectual development of a four year old child. In my phantasy I act as a normal adult in my past and prohibit the way into the catastrophe.
Staying alone haven’t been a problem for me all the time of my life before.
Thousands of sports, activities, Hobbies and many friends I could visit. I lost the ability for my work, financial Organisation and the fun of doing it all.
So now I lay in bed only to face half the day, chat the forums, try to sleep, doing nothing.
My day is than walking up and down and think about the past and being in regret. Yes I am. I can’t forget how I get in it like the greatest fool of the entire patient community.
It leads to nothing. I know well.
I try to rearrange my post PFS crash life. I try to visit friends. Try to make a coffee plate or an grill party evening. But after all it’s to much for me and I’m afraid that old friends and fiance see me in this state now.
I know guys from my privat PFS group, who live a normal life. Working, traveling, living something like a normal life. They fought the pain. And they fight the pain. I need hope and time to come there
@Wintermoon told his experience " I know
this sounds weird but maybe there is some value to the life lessons I’ve learned from this. "
It sounds hard. I had to learn about my life too, as a fool at the tarot card, but why we. Others live without any lesson for a foolish life and get 86 without pain. Why we???
What about them, who call me self pitty, how do you live your life. What are your thoughts.