Hi guys it’s been a while but I think now is the time for an update.
I’ll initially talk through the FMT once more. On the day in question back in October 22 I could hardly drive to the clinic power steering felt so heavy I was slouched in the car, I was driving a manual and was having to lean into the gear change which was extremely difficult, I pulled in for some diesel and had to ask another customer to release the cap and lift the nozzle to the cars funnel, i could hardly walk to the paypoint. . At this time I thought about heading back to the hotel, i could hardly turn the key in the ignition but it felt like last chance saloon I made it to the clinic, I was very weak, in an obvious distressed state, walking badly. They were in two minds i pleaded with them and it went ahead. 1 hour later I left the clinic. Within a very short space of time my vision became clear, I reconnected to the world, I noticed bird song, the beauty of autumn I felt alive nostalgic to a song on the car radio I wanted to put my foot down, the wheel was light, I wanted to be around people, I felt positive emotions, my physical frame started to fill out I wanted to go to the gym, it felt like nothing short of a miracle. I got back to the hotel after enjoying the drive, I felt like I had a future. Seeing my wife and son felt like a returning soldier. I was overcome with emotion… That night I fell asleep with normal thoughts. I woke at 4 am (peristalsis) with the feeling of impending doom, horrible emotional state was seeping back onto the fabric, the bone pain, the weakness, disassociation etc etc all landed. I could hardly walk or dress. I had more treatments over the following two weeks and the gains never returned apart from when my hands filled out in the car on day four for1 hour. I took a further 4 fmts back home transplanting them on a 4 weekly basis the last one being in March with no change.
Seperatley I’ve continued with:-
Fasting, generally working between fortnightly 48 hours dry fasting followed by omad. Eating within a 4 hour window later on in the day. Ive also carb backloaded. I’ve experimented with foods white potato often being the mainstay.
I’ve continued to have colonics, they were very frequent at first given the lack of functional digestion/transit, I now have them four weekly which I straddle with a 48 hour fast . I was also having daily warm water enemas and in the beginning I could not even squeeze the bulb and had to ask my 10 year old son for assistance (very upsetting for me having to bestow this upon him, but he was fine with it) I’ve recently dropped them to weekly.
I introduced infrared sauna therapy quickly increasing them to twice weekly but I found I was experiencing brain tremors (serotonin I think) so took a break restarting them last week.
I also tried glandulars the brain one was the most notable. I felt a surge of activity, re awakening pathways, i had a raging boner, improved mood, thought processes and physical presence. It fell back within 24 hours and repeated use brought on a worsening state. Testicle glandular helped temporarily too.
Approximately 2 months ago I decided to try to return to exercise and was compound lifting 4kg bells my arms were like jelly bones were cracking knees popping bone pain and hollowness was very apparent (a week earlier I couldn’t even grip them) I started short walks which were very laboured. Prior to this it had got to the point where i couldnt even open the car door, my son was pulling my upper garments off at night and my weight had dropped to a mere 59kg. My piss was like treacle from toxicity and I wasn’t absorbing food. The NHS were nothing but willing spectators.
Within days of starting the exercise I started to feel weight in my glutes and quads, I became reassured in my step, then I started to feel intermittent pumps in my arms. My weight started to increase(which has since plateaud) and I felt better emotionally. I got carried away and returned to the gym after over a year of absence i had confidence (dopamine), i quickly felt cold limbs, nausea, suicidal, with neuropathy and it fell away once more. I was obviously devastated.
Despite yet another setback I perservered and continued with exercise while being more sensible. Overall id say my baseline mood is slightly better, I’m getting some pump where as that had gone even prior to the crash . My body temperature has been increasing then falliing back, the regular sudden onset of fatigue has lessened, the pruning fingers too, earwax and sebaceous oil has returned intermittently. I now go to the toilet and pass a small ribbon like stool, far from normal but way better than it was. My legs had turned scaly and I was getting dermatitis on my face after eating these as well as multiple allergic symptoms have reduced. Sleep is still poor I often wake up at 2 (cortisol) and 4 (peristalsis) which is when the onset of extreme physical pain would hit, this has lessened too I often manage to get another short spell of sleep and started getting erections months ago for a few minutes on the final morning awakening. This is quite notable because I hadn’t had morning wood for over a decade (it feels mechanical only with no connection to the brain or erotic dreams, but a positive nonetheless). I continue to feel cold but not as often. I have 4 pages of symptoms and can’t go through them all but overall I’d say things are improving,. I also started getting ball and jaw ache again which is maybe due to the fluctuations in testosterone I’m not sure(I used to get these on fin which is also concerning) Every time I feel cold and the bone pain increases I either do compound lifts or go for a short walk and it abates. For years I’d do a gym session on alternate days while knocking out press ups most mornings I now perform light exercise throughout the day and even close off with lightcompoind lifts before bed. My body seems to be reacting more positively, something has changed, the automatic shutdown, stress response is no longer the only player which is encouraging. Prior to this I was stuck in only a worsening, tortured state no matter what i tried, ,nothing would lift it.(many will relate)
I really thought I was a dead man this time last year
I’d say fasting, eliminating processed shit, creams, oils, sugar,and a return to exercise has been key. AND sticking with it
Coming back from the worst imagineable state which seemed impossible should give hope to everyone on here.
Re the fmt I think it erased the epigenetic changes almost immediately but the biome attacked and killed it and the immune system was primed for future ones. I won’t rule out revisiting this in the future.
One of the original old schoolers on here helped me immensely when i couldnt think straight hed reasure me as to the path ahead and sent me daily messages of encoursgement, guidance and support, I’m underplaying how much he helped.
I’ remain in a very serious state but for the 1st time it feels that I have a say in this. My body is trying to recover despite all these years of progressive damage.
On Friday night gone out of nowhere I felt extremely irritated, sensitive to noise, all stimuli I could hardly see, tinnitus, raged, sick to the stomach with anxiety and dread, overtaken with intrusive thoughts and the feeling of impending doom. The bones in my face and skull were sore to the touch and much more. I lay there wanting to be gone I waited it out and after what seemed like an eternity it ebbed. I thought of Gods comfort to bring it down. This just shows how things can change in the blink of a blood, shot dry eye.
I can’t pretend to understand all of this even more so considering the effect finasteride has had on my brain function but I think the reduction in inflammation and toxicity has helped ease the symptoms and that the fasting may be positively effecting the dysbiosis, resting the gut allowing for healing. The potential health benefits of this cant be overstated inclusive of the ability to correct epigenetic changes via autophagy…
Recent bloods reported a reduction in Bilirubin levels, another encouraging sign which translates into a concrete evidence based positive change.
I’m doing an interview for the moral medicine channel tomorrow where I won’t mention the recent changes as don’t want to detract from the true horrors of pfs. No one should hide in the dark with this disease, I implore sufferers to step forward, be seen and be heard.
So in summary, given the state I was in the, the damage from the years of exposure etc etc there is hope for everyone if i can start to claw my way back from the abyss. So can you.
No one should ever throw in the towel. Do everything you can to keep the fires down until this is understood and a treatment is secured which will happen with everyone’s help one day.
Laz
