Lack of motivation

Symptoms Neurological
#1

Ok guys, it has been a long time since i post here, but i am having a hard time finding strengh to go on. Next year will be my nineth year with PFS. I am just so tired.

I am having a hard time finding reasons to do basic stuff, but it is not depression. It is a void that i can´t seem to fill, and it was filled before in my life with fun. Fun was a great reason and stimulant to push me foward and make me want to grow, work, make money, etc. Now it all seems so poinless. Why make money if i can´t eat so much stuff (or ill have mental effects). Why make money if i can´t have a relationship?

At the same time, i don´t want to die, i just can´t live like this anymore. You know, as much as i push myself and force my self to live with all these issues, the truth is everybody has a limit.

I see people in my family living through 80-85 years old. It was a blessing before to have this life expectancy. But now, how i am going to live like this for more FIFTY YEARS? I don´t know, just don´t know what else to do. I already am very isolate, simply because there is no point in being very social anymore. As much as my rational mind keeps telling me that i can contribute to society, the things that have been hurt in my body are so basic that i have a very hard time. This situation is ridiculously hard. FOr one side i believe in reincarnation and think that the more years i live the stronger i will become and this knowledge will not be lost. But that is my rational mind speaking. When i FEEL what is going on, it has gone post my limit so bad… It has gone beyond what i can take, and still it never stops, every week i deal with the same issues over and over. I take steps to improve and things come back later, it just never stops.

So, not to make this too long. What have you guys thought to give you motivation? What idea, goal, etc to you keep in your mind to keep you moving on?

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#2

It is hard. It is incredibly hard. I live for the moments where I forget about PFS and have a good time. Like when I get wasted and sing karaoke. Or when I hang out with my family and have a laugh. Or when I go see Anchorman 2 three times during its opening week because Ron Burgundy just makes me happy, dammit.

I keep going for my mother. And while there are moments where I have the exact thoughts you just shared… I remember that this IS temporary. It WILL be fixed as research and tests are being done. In the meantime, I hang in there knowing this will one day become my little back pocket secret. I know I will have a strength that most people will ever know.

Hang in there, please.

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#3

I’ve been suffering for 4 years now… i have no motivation either… My rational mind works perfectly… i can think… but its just an empty voice in my head…

I believe in reincarnation . I know what its like to just not want to do anything… its a struggle for me to get going everyday. Why work? money doesn’t make me happy… and a relationship… well… my junk doesn’t work very well and it doesn’t feel very alive down there…

The thing that keeps me going is the hope that i will feel completely real again and have a lot of compassion for other people suffering.

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#4

Lack of motivation is my worst symptom as well. Of course this is a direct consequence of the lack of sex drive and perhaps also of lowered neurosteroids. I can live without sex, without love, being lonely, and with the cognitive side effects such as forgetting words and slurring of speech. But in order to live I have to work, to get up in the morning and do things. And how do I do that when I am in a state of complete apathy?

There isn’t a thing in the world that I want. I have no motivation to achieve, no ambition, no goals, no desire to make money or climb a social ladder. Sure, it would be nice to make a million bucks, for example, but do I feel a drive to do what it takes? Absolutely not. I know on a rational level there are things I could do help others but I feel no emotional drive to exert myself to do anything.

Needless to say working is very difficult when you don’t value anything. How have you guys dealt with this? What gives you motivation to keep going?

I was never like this before “the crash”. I was ultra competitive and ambitious. I had very high goals, and I was constantly striving towards something. That person is now gone.

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#5

Right now you are just lazy mentally but soon after a few more years of pfs decline your body will be a mess, your muscles and bones and organs will start to resemble that of an elderly person, you will not have the physical energy to compete with your peers even if your motivation and cognitive abilities return. You will be a retired senior citizen in condition though young on paper. While you are still able live the life you would have lived if you were still healthy do not waste opportunities everyday to find solutions. Because you will recover even if your false pfs emotions are telling you otherwise the question is will you be prepared for that moment so you can pick up running where you last left off. Will you push on ahead, will you simply try to maintain where you are, or will you give up and fall behind only to have big regrets when your recovery occurs. I also believe you’ve got a much better chance of snapping back into your past self if you mimic your desired life, you can speed up the process if you do things for their own sake even if you don’t get the enjoyment that you used to when you were normal.

#6

I’m going on 12 years now with pfs. Other than ED and no sex drive I feel ok, at least a lot better than I did at my worst in 2008. Last year a had a couple days where I felt like my old self. It was great. Of course it didn’t last. The only thing I could think that caused it was I had a good workout right before it happened, but couldn’t repeat it.

I’m definitely not the same person I was 12 years ago. I sometimes wonder what I would be like now if this had never happened. I’ve sort of come to accept my condition. I still check for updates on the last study we are waiting for. Hard to believe after all these years there has only been one small study (the Italian study) that has shed any light on our condition. Ok, so now we know that we most likely have some type of possibly permanent nerves damage (pudental) and some screwed up neuro steroids. That’s it, that’s all we know.

As far as motivation I just go thru my routines. Running has always been a big part of it, but my times have gotten about 2 minutes slower per mile since pfs. It’s helped a lot. Keeps my head clear and keeps my anxiety down. I guess that would be my advice. Find a routine and stick to it. Make exercise a big part of it. Be patient and pray that the only people that I have seen that truly seem interested in our condition (the Italians who did the Milan study) find out what happened to us. Maybe the last study from Bayor will find something. At least they are taking their time in releasing their results. Maybe they have found something.

#7

My bad Ignite. I think the last study is from Baylor University. As far as I know they are studying things like epigenetic changes that may have caused our condition. Probably more detailed study than simply measuring hormone levels. It’d be nice if awor or mew would post an update once in awhile about the path forward but they have deferred to the pfs foundation. I truly appreciate the foundation but their news releases don’t usually point to a path forward,mostly to what has been done.

#8

When you’re feeling down try exercise then have a warm healthy meal because good food and a little exercise cures most depressive episodes. But when you feel especially anxious and desperate for suicide try to get a massage it’ll release “feel good chemicals” and make you feel human again. Sleep well and you’ll feel better the next morning. When you can’t sleep go get some acupuncture and when you’re low on money for those expenses and nothing around you like books or movies can make you feel better and you just want to die don’t worry, use the opportunity to wander around and catch a cold. A lot of the time when you get sick you experience a temporary recover and you feel your old self again! Even your face reverts to your normal healthy glow as if years of aging can be undone within 1 or 2 hours! You’ll realize what you have is 100% reversible you just have to live long enough to make it there

#9

Before all this people had their prime years stolen from them by wars and disease, either their parents and siblings died or they were wounded soldiers often mentally scarred for life. Now it seems people have their health stolen by food that isn’t really food and unsafe medicine.

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