damn bro, sorry to hear that, pretty much all the crashes look similar, i can’t wrap my head around what i have done to my health, take care, hope things get better for both of us
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I’d say it’s acceptable for now. I’m really glad I don’t have that crazy anxiety anymore and that my sleep is much better too(I used to have completely sleepless nights from time to time). I still have some troubles with concentration and motivation. But I’m working on it and thing really look manageable. I seem to have some anhedonia, but it’s more like a derivative from some emotional blunting, it’s not severe.
What’s worrying me is recently acquired head pressure feeling and the fact that I’ve almost forgotten how the real sexual arousal feels like.
Talking about physical changes… I’ve lost all extra weight I gained while I was on pills (15 kilos). I managed to bring back to normal my terrible dry skin. And I’ve made several ultrasound tests to check if there’s anything wrong with my genitals(they all appeared to be OK).
What changes are you afraid of?
I think I need to add that my problems come from PAS, not fin. But compared to some PFS cases my symptoms are pretty much the same.
That’s good advice. You also shouldn’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault, we were all lied to on a mass scale. We still have arms and legs and I believe we should focus more on what we do have now rather than what we have lost. It is very hard I know, but it will keep us sane.
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Yeah I was quite shocked yesterday I woke up at 11am, which was a massive improvement from when I was waking up at 3 in the morning. I am still persistently fatigued throughout the day though. I had terrible head pressure for the first month and am very happy that has subsided. It is still slightly there but not completely debilitating like it was. Now that has gone I have had time to notice how severely my libido is gone as well. That sense of male aggression is gone, it’s weird.
I am afraid of my physical symptoms getting worse and potentially having a negative affect on my health. I feel like i’m not ingesting my food properly and I don’t know what affect that is having on my health. I am also reticent to meet my friends again yet, I feel like I need some more time before that.
Thanks Capone. How’s your life now? Are you able to maintain friendships and work?
Sometimes I also feel like abandoning it all and I want to go live in the patagonia as an hermit, surrownded only by rocks and cattle.
But that’s escaping, it’s admitting i’ve been defeatd, it’s a ragequit. I’m more than that. Also, aside from turning ugly, I haven’t seen many cases where health is at risk because of this (but is that really a good thing?, I would prefer to have cancer rather than this).
Also, you probably shouldn’t stop your life because of this (unless you really feel you can’t), if your friends see you let down or something, just tell them that you now have health problems or that you have just been passing through some personal issues, you don’t need to go into any specifics, they will understand and if they are good friends, they will even try to support you a lot, which is helpful. Best wishes man, keep fighting.
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Would you really rather have cancer than this? I will take your advice and will eventually enter the real world again. Seeing my friends concerned for me helped me get out of the deep hole I have been in. What I am very sad about is that I don’t think I will be able to share fun with them like I did in the past. If anything, having this health scare has taught me how important and fragile life is, and makes me want to live it as much as possible. Keep fighting as well mate.
My worst symptom is the tinnitus. Oh god the ringing never stops. Had it for 3 months kind of accepted I will live with it. My chances of employment have massively slimmed with it. I think my vision problems have decreased a bit and depression I think has improved but still get twitches
Damn it must be bad then. I think I must’ve got lucky then, I don’t seem to have tinnitus. How would it affect your employment?
But of course, man.
My mental symptoms struck me very hard, specially as an engeneering studient,
I would prefer to die young knowing that I could have achieved great things, rather than live to see me fail again and again all my life in constant frustration and hummiliation, to see all my plans crushed before me. I’m not exagerating I think, I can’t even read memes anymore, people show me funny internet pictures and I struggle to get them, and it’s always akward, this is not life.
Edit: Of course, if I haven’t killed myself already, is because i’m hopeful for a recovery lol, maybe the world just wanted to punish me for my vanity. I’ll keep it in mind.
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Are your mental symptoms really that bad? I’m sorry to hear.
Honestly not really, I can function quite decently, it’s mainly that i’m particullarly annoyed at this fact. For example, reading any sort of books is really hard now, and I always enyojed literature. Some people would say that they don’t mind the mental side effects as long as they had their penis back, i’m quite the opposite.
Some day i’ll recover tho, i’m sure.
Stay strong man. I also love literature and i was completely incapable of enjoying reading for the first 6 months I had this problem. Between 6 months and now (9 months) I have been able to enjoy reading again. I hope the same will happen to you.
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I have regained interest in news and sports. Still lacking that creative spark but I am at least glad I have improved in some areas. Hope this stays.
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Yeah I guess I’m just happy I can walk around without feeling like my head is about to explode. That first month was brutal. I would describe the mental sides as feeling like 10% slower, and not as fast as I used to be. I used to be a heavy smoker so I’m quite used to the decreolized feel. But considering where I was, I am happy to be at where I am currently.
Keep strong my man, as long as we don’t get worse with time (which is rare unless you take other things, be cautious about it, specially about antidepressants) good times are ahead, either the effects will start to clear up with time, or you will learn to manage them better.
Hi guys, unfortunately I think I’ve slipped backwards a bit the last couple days. May be going through a mini crash. I’ve been eating like shit so wonder if that’s got anything to do with it. I got through the first crash so praying I get through this one. Damn this shits hard
What do you mean by aside from turning ugly?
Hi guys, no one is reading this but I feel better writing about how I am. Currently haven’t had a crash in a while. Yesterday was probably my clearest day yet and I even felt a little horny. I also woke up with a boner. I don’t know what it is. But I think it’s to do with the fact that it’s summer, therefor it was the hottest day yet, I’m on a keto diet, and I’m in a low stress environment. I worry about my future and what happens when I have to work 5 times a week but for now I am going to enjoy my current situation.
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Hi Monk,
I hope you continue to improve and you seem to have the right mindset. Mental issues for me have improved since early days and I’m about 1 year post-fin now and maybe 8-9 months since my most severe crash. I can now usually for at least a few hours each day enjoy some Comedy, sports, video games, etc. to some extent, even if not like I used to. My anhedonia was very severe, so all improvements have been welcome. My one piece of advice for you is to avoid taking anything that might make you worse. Just stick with basics like diet and exercise as long as you can and let time do the work. If you’re already seeing improvements, that’s likely to continue but progress will be slow and very up and down. I would recommend a log so you can better see long term progress.
I personally was making good progress but had something as simple as a very small amount of Creatine potentially set me back significantly. I don’t yet know what the long term affects are, but I would give anything to go back to before. Even though I wasn’t doing great, it was the more known evil. Avoid these types of pitfalls. Best of luck to you.
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