Is there really any hope for certain variants?

Hello. This is my first message on this forum. I have been lurking for a while now.

About 18 months ago I stopped takingk Mirtazapine and developed symptoms identical to severe PFS. I have muscle waste all over the body, anhedonia, tinnitus and of course sexual dysfunction.
I have been a resilient person all my life, depriving myself from calmness, luxuries and little comforts that I considered useless and deemed to weak people. it was because of pressure from my family that I started to take antidepressants several years ago. However, with stoicism and all, I’m almost ready to quit as taking the pain no longer makes much sense.

The symptoms appearead in this order: Tinnitus (that’s nothing, life comes with it’s burdens) sexual dysfunction (ok, not everything is sex, I wasn’t even a very sexual person anyways), anhedonia (ok, this is starting to get really bad, but maybe I’ll get them back some day, I can survive), muscle wastage (now this is the drop that spilled the glass, no longer a life or a human being and can’t even pretend to look like one, but let’s steel up to survive). it’s like some sadistic entity was saying “Take this, oh! you think you can go on? take another bunch of shit? More? Ok, pleased! Enough? You never learn…”

Over these 18 or 19 months I’ve been holding on to the little success stories I can find here and there hoping one day things start to improve, specially the anhedonia and the physical changes, but I can’t find any success stories that include the weird soft muscles issue with everything else mixed. I can’t find any “My hands went back to normal and I can build muscle at the gym again, I recovered my muscular structure and the muscles got hard again”. None. So what’s the point in surviving the utmost form of imaginable hell? Cognition and the eye issues got better, but everything else remains basically the same. I tried to hit the gym for a few months last year and like many others I don’t get the pump anymore, muscles were mushy and the endorphins response was almost absent. If I could at least get the physical base to at least look good I’d gather the courage to fight the anhedonia and sexual issues, but this dream team of crap jumping at me all at the same time for so long is ridiculous and more of course knowing that no one has recovered from that combination.

Sorry for this sorrowful introduction.

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I was able to gain muscle by using Lcarnitine tartrate with alpholic acid, glutamate and creatine though I don’t really use the latter two anymore. Just went gym, did swimming and sauna. And eating tone of protein as well as protein powder.

For me tinnitus is my worst symptom and along with the awful head pressure is what will probably kill me

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You should certainly write a member story post, this reads almost as one except it’s less organized and structured.
That being said, yeah man, uncertainty is the worst thing: if you go to the gym to try to improve your condition you start feeling that it’s pointless and a waste of time, but then if you don’t do anything you feel like useless as well. Even the recovery stories that involve excersise can’t really attribute the recovery to the excersise.

I feel you man. I have the hardcore muscle wastage symptoms too. I’ve tried massive doses of steroids that only hardcore bodybuilders would touch and had zero muscle gain. Normal people would gain muscle just sitting on their ass watching TV with the amount of steroids I was taking.

The sad reality is these symptoms rarely improve for the guys who have true pfs/pssd muscle wastage which happens rapidly during the crash. I’m talking complete inability to gain any sort of muscle at all. The muscles are basically dead and don’t respond to exercise.

Now it’s not all bad. I mean my depression and things like libido have improved over time. One thing that has improved for sure is my ability to feel the effects of alcohol and certain mind-altering substances which help provide an escape.

Although, I don’t recommend that to anyone else as it’s a slippery slope but if I had to compare it to my earlier days with pfs where I couldn’t get drunk it’s a nice change.

The truth is we need real research to figure this stuff out. Supporting PFS Network is really the only thing that matters at this point. Research and time are the only real hope for these type of symptoms.

Some guys do improve with time. I have seen it. I know one guy who had the hardcore pfs muscle wastage symptoms and it went away after 5 years. So do keep that in mind.

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Can’t believe I missed this. How long did that take? Mine shut off on day one and is still shut off eight and a half months later.

Who was that?

I got back to a good level from a horrorshow in 2009.

By the middle of the decade I was doing pretty well in all respects. Then stress started to fuck it, and I inadvertently took a 5ari to deal with it. Didn’t cycle it and crashed Feb 21, but kept taking zinc and vit d, and “sleeping pills”, crashed this year.

It took a few years

A guy I spoke to over text. He’s pretty much recovered but it took almost a decade.

If you’re 33 you’ll almost certainly see results from research in your lifetime.

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